Adjust
The word given to me this week is adjust. That's a good one for me because it may be THE VERY THING that I struggle with most...and my amazing husband and kids are the ones that usually get the ugly side of my adjustment. I've learned to say something along the lines of "I'm having to adjust...give me a minute" or "that's not what I was expecting..." or "I'm trying to adjust...I'lll be ok in a bit." I THINK - I think, that I always end up adjusting and doing ok in the end...but the beginning stages of adjustment are almost always flat out ugly.
For the most part it's simply - and disgustingly - selfishness that comes out when I am having to adjust and not handling it well. I want what I want. I want what I thought the plan was. I want my plan to be carried out. I don't want to have to come up with a new plan. (Sometimes it feels like it took all that I had to come up with the plan that is in motion - so then to have to change mid-stream feels next to impossible.)
Sometimes it's big plans (the recent hospital stay comes to mind)...other times tiny: my cheeseburger had lettuce and tomato when I very clearly asked for ketchup, mayonaise and mustard only. Adjust. Take off the lettuce and tomato (but the residue and taste is still there!!!!)(it's ok...better luck next time...it won't be the last cheeseburger you order...and at least you have food to eat). So you weren't planning to stay at the hospital - the beautiful thing is that all of everything was taken care of by loving friends and family. You lacked nothing, Dianna. Your kids were cared for. Yaya and Nick brought everything you needed. LJ got better!
If I had more than 5 minutes I could write far too many stories of difficult adjustments.
I'm learning in this. I'm growing in my ability to adjust - I don't think it takes quite as long for me to switch gears as it used to....but I can still see alot of growth potential in my ability to adjust. Alot.
My thought this morning is that ultimately my struggle to adjust is a lack of trust...(and still a whole lot of selfishness at being inconvenienced). Lack of trust that no matter the changes or set backs or adjustments needed, God is still in control . He is still with me. He is still for me. (even when my cheeseburger has vegetables on it.)
For the most part it's simply - and disgustingly - selfishness that comes out when I am having to adjust and not handling it well. I want what I want. I want what I thought the plan was. I want my plan to be carried out. I don't want to have to come up with a new plan. (Sometimes it feels like it took all that I had to come up with the plan that is in motion - so then to have to change mid-stream feels next to impossible.)
Sometimes it's big plans (the recent hospital stay comes to mind)...other times tiny: my cheeseburger had lettuce and tomato when I very clearly asked for ketchup, mayonaise and mustard only. Adjust. Take off the lettuce and tomato (but the residue and taste is still there!!!!)(it's ok...better luck next time...it won't be the last cheeseburger you order...and at least you have food to eat). So you weren't planning to stay at the hospital - the beautiful thing is that all of everything was taken care of by loving friends and family. You lacked nothing, Dianna. Your kids were cared for. Yaya and Nick brought everything you needed. LJ got better!
If I had more than 5 minutes I could write far too many stories of difficult adjustments.
I'm learning in this. I'm growing in my ability to adjust - I don't think it takes quite as long for me to switch gears as it used to....but I can still see alot of growth potential in my ability to adjust. Alot.
My thought this morning is that ultimately my struggle to adjust is a lack of trust...(and still a whole lot of selfishness at being inconvenienced). Lack of trust that no matter the changes or set backs or adjustments needed, God is still in control . He is still with me. He is still for me. (even when my cheeseburger has vegetables on it.)
