29 March 2018

maybe it should be called "i'm thankful for cinnamon stuff."

  • the "request an item" system of the library.  wow.  simplicity at its finest.
  • unexpected check with a thank you note
  • laughter over the kitties' snake conquest
  • nick's hard work and awesomeness in the form of a devotion book


  • public announcement of white twins!  "everything is double double." 
  • hearing about justin's 2 favorite songs
  • day full of friendship and community
  • cinnamon bread, cinnamon roll, cinnamon roll waffles (sensing a pattern here)



  • exercise class with coach jacob
  • "Hosanna!  Your King is on His way!"
  • whites + hotdogs + outside + picnic table + friendship + fire 
  • macaroon card + chipotle gift card surprise in the mail (and, even more so, the friend who sent them)
  • eggs & corn (emma and aaron making dinner together)
  • FUN in the pool as it filled up
  • AFM Easter memories
  • strawberry picking with the camps at Cook Family Farms
  • sitting on the porch swing thinking of thankful items
  • yaya and emma's impromptu shopping trip
  • the picture short cut katie showed me
  • seemingly shady treadmill deals that turn out alright

22 March 2018

coffee carts and painting parties

  • perfectly delightful monday (i won't repeat it all)
  • it was a dead possum in the road, not a cat
  • trailrunning.  i like it more than i remembered. 
  • letterboards
  • little girls painting and big girls using their giftings
  • smokey the bear shirt
  • songs from allen levi, supertones and carmen as a part of our school week
  • free icecream and french fry coupons
  • sharing mediterranean street food, conversation and laughter with the cowarts
  • coffee and cake pops with my middlest daughter
  • clean.  (pretty much anything clean...bathtubs..counters...clothes...sheets...floors...)
  • jim and shelley's willingness to have and host the youth at their house
  • talking to kids about the art of high fives and avoiding hugs (the love language - or lack thereof - of physical touch) 
  • walks with friends in beautiful settings on beautiful days
  • coffee cart at sam's (including cinnamon rolls!) (early morning incentive!)


19 March 2018

today.

it was too good of a day not to share.

started with some good time with jesus...continued with some rounds of the 7 minute workout as i listened to and laughed with the relevant podcast cast.  that podcast is a source of happiness for me (as well as information and randomness).  relevant has lots of good podcasts, check them out if you have a chance: relevant podcast network

then i got to hear about a dear, dear friend's fabulous day long date as i walked up and down our driveway...feels like long time hope deferred is being fulfilled.  my phone ran out of charge...but that's ok...the conversation continued a little while later.  it was worth the delay - what a joy to be able to share my heart and thoughts with such a trustworthy, jesus-loving lady.

came in and had a shower - never do i ever want to take for granted that i turn a knob and clean water comes out.  and it was warm.  oh that everyone had that luxury.

then i was privileged to have a really tough conversation with one of our children about the importance of honesty and how very important telling the truth is (of course, that came about as a lie was uncovered which wasn't fun...but the conversation felt holy).

the morning continued with a DELIGHTFUL time of homeschooling. OH that it was always like this!!  meaningful conversation. laughter.  connecting dots.  applying what we're reading/talking about to their lives.  (including a graphic conversation about eunuchs...and the significance of Acts 8) i love that our school included an Allen Levi song (stand like Stephen) and writing letters to friends on the ship.


i've recently been reminded of Seeds Family Worship...so that was playing in our home most of the day.  scripture set to music - really good music.  nothing better to fill the atmosphere.  (and it was fun to hear kids singing along - to realize that songs they haven't really heard in years are still stuck in their hearts and minds!)

the day continued with kids fixing their own lunches....doing kind things for one another (especially the one boy!)....lots of joke telling...

we ended up with a whole stack of outgoing mail for ms. connie to pick up (though i may have accidentally sent an empty envelope to friends in birmingham.  i have the note but can't find the envelope that i know i addressed and stamped....).

and today is the first day our friends in texas have been at home with their newly adopted son.  talk about long time hope being realized!!  "another pair of shoes" has finally been added. hallelujah.
there were some bumps in the road early in the afternoon...tears and an overwhelmed child....but it was handled with kindness and grace (wish it always was).

then we took eli and eli (cash and white) to classroom session training (have i mentioned that i love velocity and i love that eli is a part of it!?!)...dropped emma off at the whites....had some sweet time with my caroline.  i'm not typically a "splurge kind of girl"....but we splurged on some delicious smelling soaps and coffee and cake pops - and what a joy to remind her that she is worth a splurge! (the last of my christmas money well spent!!) had some fun conversation with her.  thankful for the chance to spend time with her in a way that we both enjoyed.
came back to the whites.  i love time with molly. love it.  kids had fun.  eli and eli (and alex!) made it back to the house (we allowed them to walk the short 1/4 of a mile or so from the school where they had classroom session training....thankful for the chance to allow them to be independent and build our confidence - and their's!!)

traveled the 3 tiny miles back home and worked on a little project while kids (cash, white and one hofer) played and shared community.  the project turned out even better than i was hoping - i daresay it would've been a great pinterest post (except i don't really post on pinterest....definitely didn't take any before/after pictures....)(and i do need to remember that glass can cut).  it's fun to see a wall coming alive...

enjoyed some minutes with the price ladies - including letting the kids play in the rain.  i love it when kids get to be kids and enjoy life.  sometimes i wonder if kids get to enjoy life as much as they should.  so many rules.  so many obstacles.  so many stupid people who do horrible things to children.  i love it when they can just play and laugh and BE CHILDREN.

all the non-cash folks headed to their respective homes (molly brought me a lindor chocolate bar when she came to pick up the boys....speaking of splurge....so excited to enjoy that!!!)....the cash man came home...we went for a run.  i love time with him.  i enjoy exercising...and i enjoy him...combining the 2 and i start singing "all i do is win win win."
dinner was cooked at some point...a meal was shared at the table....conversation was real and rich and meaningful.

now nick is reading to the kids....the kitchen is nearly cleaned up....a "best of" worship list is playing - and it includes some fresh to me hip-hop.  goodness.  my heart feels full.  i couldn't help but share.

and i kind of think i left out some things.  and i didn't even check the mailbox for mail -which is usually one of the main highlights of my day!

in the words of Chris Rice, "why can't everyday be like today? " (though part of that song is talking about tough days, too)

it wasn't a perfect day.  but it was beautiful.  and i felt more like me than i have in a long time. and i didn't want to wait until thursday to share my thankfulness.

can we please have another day like this tomorrow?

16 March 2018

thankful friday...changing it up this week.

  • the unending faithfulness and kindness of God.
  • timely texts from lovely friends
  • fabulous church signs
  • God's got good plans. 
  • walking around lamb's lake with my best friend
  • celebrating eli with waffles, boiled peanuts, cinnamon streusel muffins, games and friends

  • comfort of avett brothers music
  • getting the trampoline springs on!
  • splendor!

  • 5 for the price of 3 at the aquarium
  • intentional community around the walls' table
  • cookie cake (and another year with these guys)

  • honest questions. 
  • tuesday morning naps
  • beautiful quotes from bob goff
  • those cats.  they are gifts. 
  • thankful lists can be published on friday just as easily as thursday
  • teen advisor dinner.  goodness we love that organization. 


08 March 2018

thankfulness changes things.


  • beautiful morning for soccer (my toes didn't freeze)
  • cooler temperatures (hanging on to them cause i know summer will be HOT)
  • "i'm happy ya'll are home." - yaya
  • easy breezy car ride to amelia island
  • how easy it is to be with sam and christy
  • beach + sunset + pizza
  • "this is where i am.  if i am here that means God is here with me..." -amena brown
  • driftwood beach and sunday afternoon adventures


  • beautiful breakfast -- eggs, bacon, fruit, toast, coffee
  • webmunity gathering
  • the continued gift of pizza coupons
  • tiffany was willing to cover the lifeschool class (and hearing from a parent how God used her in the lives of the kiddos!)
  • real questions and ears that listen to the real answers
  • early morning sam's club run - made complete by the complimentary coffee and muffin
  • enjoyable, remarkable, refreshing "test run/trial/preview" community group meeting
  • date night.  always thankful. 

02 March 2018

in the middle (and outskirts) of difficult...aka "I'm not ok"

First off, it's difficult to write about difficult when you're in the middle of it.
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Let me interrupt myself -- I wrote most of this post in early December (which you're going to find ironic when you read the rest of this).  And there's nothing in me that really wants to hit "publish" on this particular post.  But then there's something in me that knows this is significant....and this whole blog has always been about obedience.  So when He asks me to hit publish, hit publish I shall...

Interruption over, back to what I wrote in December....
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I've decided it's human nature to wait until you're "better" to write/share/tell about the tough time you were having...maybe we don't like to not be doing so well - or maybe the "not doing so well" takes so much out of us that we don't have much leftover for sharing.  Or maybe it's just scary to not be doing well. Or maybe there's fear that if I admit to struggling, the struggle will just come exploding out like those little trick springy snake things that we used to stuff into cans as kids (and maybe, definitely, all of those things are true for me right now).

But I'm in the middle of it.  And I want to write about it.  But I don't know what to say.

It baffles me a bit because I love authenticity and I'm more than willing to admit that I struggle...

(sidenote: in a conversation with a friend we were talking about not having it all together - and i said that those are my favorite kind of people...those that don't have it all together - and some of my least favorite are those that pretend to have it all together when we really know no one has it all together.)

But it's not easy to say....
  • I am struggling.
  • I am not doing well.
  • I don't have it all together.
  • I am hurting.
  • I am sad.
  • I am dissatisfied and selfish and discontent.
  • I am disappointed.
  • I am dealing with feeling anxious more than ever before.
  • I miss the ship more than I ever thought I would.
  • I am frustrated. 
Not easy to say...and hard to look at in list form...But that's what I'm feeling.

Now comes the part when I should write about how I am satisfied in Jesus and He's all I need and He gives me joy and peace and purpose.  And, while all these things are true - so very true - and I really do believe them...I don't want to slap a Holy band-aid on something that needs a better solution.

The kittens are a good distraction.
Christmas preparations, another good distraction.

But ultimately I don't know that I'm ok or how to be ok.  And putting this out in a blog post feels like a cry for help...which it is not.  If you want to pray for me, feel free.  If you want to offer words of encouragement, those are always welcome.  But please don't feel like you are "supposed" to say anything...or that you "should" say something (life goal:  don't should on yourself and don't should on others).  Just be with me in this.  And for those of you reading this that are "with me" - thank you (and don't beat yourself up if you didn't realize that I'm not doing ok...it's ok!).

Really, so much is ok that we may not be sure is ok...
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So now here it is March 2 and life feels better....and I'm close to hitting publish on this post...but I'm wondering what "ok" really even looks like...and realizing it may just be ok to not be ok....
In the past few weeks God has been grounding me (again...deeper...further...) in His love.  He has been so kind to remind me of His love - and my identity as His beloved.  He has been reminding me that He is faithful and trustworthy - and I can truly put my trust in Him (not in myself...not in Nick...not in the church...not in "ministry"...not even in my relationship with Him - ONLY IN HIM).

One song has especially been significant:

especially these lyrics:
I will build my life upon Your love. It is a firm foundation.  I will put my trust in You alone and I will not be shaken.  
So maybe i'm not ok...but that's ok. I am loved by a never-failing, always faithful, trustworthy God. And that's more than ok.  Even when those words have an empty feel to them, they aren't empty.  They are Truth...Cause it's not about my feelings....it's about His love and faithfulness.

I've yet to figure out how to fully share when I'm in the middle of difficult...maybe someday.  For now, thoughts from in the middle of it with some follow-up thoughts must be sufficient.

01 March 2018

the gifts keep on coming.


  • cartwheel app saved us $12 just like that
  • fresh bread delivered by katie
  • celebrating 20 years of CCC (and being reminded of who CCC is in Him)


  • cinnabon things from the dollar store
  • skyping with nick and suzanne
  • beautiful friendships on a beautiful day


  • jon white's extreme generosity
  • shea came for the weekend!!
  • hearing about seneca and seeing the mural that is on the side of their building
  • sweet time of crave
  • zoe's kitchen with my lovely friend molly 
  • date night at the driving range

  • time with BEAN.  being around someone who loves so deeply and intentionally is good for my soul. 
  • clarity and direction 
  • quotes that resonate
  • life and hearts shared on the african fabric picnic blanket
  • being married to such an incredible man
  • eli's service through CRS and tech team