crave...explained.

A friend asked me to describe crave in a little more detail…I thought some of you might like to know what it is as well…here’s sort of an “explanation” by way of an information sheet that first time crave-ers can pick up. Maybe you can have your own taste of crave today...or you can stop by CCC around 11 on wednesdays...or you can start something similar in your church or circle of friends...oh the possibilities. May YOU receive what our Father has for you today...

"We’re so glad you’re here! More importantly, God is glad you’re here…He has gifts that He wants to give you during this time. Maybe that gift will be a word from Him…or refreshment…or rest…or just the gift of being still and quiet….may you receive what our Father has for you today.

Simply put, Crave is a set aside time to come into the presence of God. This world is busy, noisy, crazy. It’s essential to have time to sit and be still and quiet…to have time to fully concentrate on God…to worship…to pray…to listen…to rest. This time is for Him and for you. Let Him lead you.

The general format each week is that we come in around 11:00 and pick up the “guide” that is available on the counter. Then we come into the sanctuary and settle – in a chair, on the floor, at the altar, wherever. If you need to walk or move around, feel free to do so.

Around 11:40, we’ll gather back together (usually in the back of the room) to share and pray. There is no pressure for you to have to share anything – but if the Lord has spoken to you and you want to share, we’d love to hear it. Sometimes the very words God has spoken to you are the ones that someone else needs to hear – so your sharing may not be for you but for someone else in the room! We also share prayer requests with one another and then spend some time praying together. Please don’t feel any pressure to say anything….but, at the same time, there’s freedom for you to share whatever the Lord has put on your heart to share.

Here are some ideas for how to spend this time:

· Use the scripture given as a starting point for reading His word. Let the Spirit guide you to other scriptures that the Lord may want you to read today.

· Listen. Ask God a question and just quietly wait for a response. Here are some possible questions:

o God, is there anything you want to say to me today?

o What are your thoughts towards me?

o Do you have a word you’d like to give me to share with someone else?

· Pour out your heart and mind to the One who can handle it all.

· Worship. There’s music playing in the back...feel free to worship as you’d like. You’re also welcome to use your own ipod/earphones if you have them. Music is such a wonderful tool to help us enter the presence of God!

May God bless you as you give Him this time. May His refreshment be yours…may His love be real to you…may you hear His voice and respond…He loves you – how He loves you – and He is delighted to be spending this time with you."

thankful thursday...and it's really thursday!!!

• 6:57 am cherry coke thirst buster (and i'm a little proud that this is the first one i've had this week)
• kind words from the heart of the Father spoken through sweet and special sisters (the word "undeserving" comes to mind...)
• sweet time at CFA with a fabulous friend yesterday morning
• the peaceful way emma went to sleep last night. she's generally a pretty good "go-er to bed"...last night was just especially easy.
• sweet nothings. ha. can't really explain that on this blog...but if you want to know just ask (it's not dirty...just on the personal side...i won't submit all my faithful readers to all the details)(i'm laughing at the "all my faithful readers" part...i think there are about 2 of you!)
• that the long grain and wild rice/corn/sausage/onions dish always seems to turn out delicious...even though i doubt it the entire time it's in process (thanks uncle jonathan and katie for sharing the recipe at the beach last year)
• eli's help with dinner last night. that boy really helped with the cutting and seasoning and putting in the pan. and didn't even come close to losing a finger!!
• putting my iron to good use...and that would NOT be on clothes.
• clean sheets. oh my. how do i always forget how wonderful they feel and smell?? (am i telling on myself? i don't wash the sheets very often)(but far more often than the once a semester that i washed them in college)
• crave. ihop. jesus calling. good music. along with His word, those are the things God is using to feed my soul these days.
  

Bit of Disappointment from ye olde Baskin Robbins...a long story that doesn't amount to much of anything

So…we had a coupon for a free scoop of icecream for caroline (I’m a big fan of birthday clubs for kids…free icecream…free kids meals…free other stuff…). The coupon expired yesterday so, being the good stewards of coupons that we try to be, we had to use it. Caroline and I headed to Baskin Robbins on veterans (even though we prefer the BR in the landings…the one downtown is closer and seemed to be the best choice for today)(and EVEN THOUGH we had just been a part of a discussion about the BR downtown v the BR in the landings at lunch…and the one in the landings clearly won out…)

So we get to BR…and I make up my mind that I’m going to splurge and get a cappuccino blast – it’s hot. I have a $1 off coupon. It’s always a good time for a cappuccino blast (EVEN THOUGH the last time I got a capp blast from this particular BR it was sub par…I decided I was willing to give them another chance).

So caroline orders her “picnic punch” icecream (watermelon and green apple sherbet)(she was certainly pleased with her selection). I order my cappuccino blast…with great anticipation and excitement! The lady makes it…it looks a little funny…but looks can be deceiving – and, afterall, man may look at outward appearances but the Lord looks at the heart…in my effort to be a little like Jesus I decided to overlook the outward appearance and go for the heart of the yummy deliciousness in a cup. Ha (hope you can hear the silliness in my voice…)(yes, the verse is true…but I didn’t really think about that when I saw the cappuccino blast).

I tasted it. YUCK. Not very good at all. I tasted it again. Still yuck. Sometimes I can get a “coffee drink” and not be very pleased with the first sip…but if I continue to give it a try I eventually decide I like it and am able to enjoy the remainder of the drink (maybe there’s a life lesson in that, too). However, not so today. Every sip continued to be not good and definitely not what I wanted it to be. I ever so sweetly took it back to the counter and said “I’m so sorry to do this…but this just doesn’t taste right….could you remake it?” the lady didn’t give me too hard of a time…she remade it with not many groans and sighs and huffs (by the way, this was a different lady than the first one who made it…).

I got my 2^nd drink…it looked more “right.” I took a sip. It tasted totally different than the first one…but still totally NOT like a cappuccino blast!!! (see, looks can be deceiving!!)The 2nd one may just possibly have been worse than the first one. How can this be?? Don’t they have instruction guides and step by step manuals? (aka recipes)

I just didn’t have it in me to ask them to remake it a 3^rd time. My faith in getting a cappuccino blast from the BR on Veterans may never be restored.

Caroline asked “how’s that one, mama?” Me: “not so good. I’m trying to like it though."
Caroline: “try really hard.” Me: “I am! But it’s not working.” Caroline: “oh well. Maybe next time.”

Maybe next time. Maybe next time we’ll go to the BR in the landings. (no offense to the Veterans Parkway location…your picnic punch was fabulous – as I would imagine all your flavors of icecream would be…and that one guy sure enjoyed his sweet tea….and the doughnuts I’ve gotten there have been good…just not the place for cappuccino blasts. Lesson learned.)

prayer week - thursday night

I came in last night wondering…wondering if God would speak. I was thinking, you’ve said so much already this week….will you speak again? Why do I wonder that?! He’s got so much He wants to share with us…and even if I don’t “hear” anything, just being near Him and giving Him my full attention does more than I can even comprehend.

verses: Ezekiel 47:6b-9 and Luke 4:16-19

I ended up in Isaiah 55 (I kind of kept trying to read elsewhere but He kept bringing me back to it)… around v 3 it says, “listen carefully to my life-giving, life-nourishing words.” I said “God, I would love to hear some life-giving, life-nourishing words.”

His response (it was for me…but it applies to all of us…just insert your name...they are certainly life-giving, life-nourishing words)

“I am with you, dianna. I am for you. I care about you. I know you – I do know your going out and your coming in…I know the innermost parts of your heart and mind – I treasure you – I value you. I have time for you and I love hearing your thoughts. Your security is in me. Your adoration is for me. Your heart is mine. I love taking care of you. Enjoy the moments, dianna. Enjoy the day to day. Find joy knowing that I am with you. I’ve made a lasting covenant commitment with you – sure, solid, enduring love.” (that last part was another part of Isaiah 55, around v 3)

As I read the verses from Luke these were my thoughts/impressions: we are the poor, the prisoners, the blind, the oppressed. The river is not something “they need” – it’s not something we’re taking “to them”…the River is very much for us.

I said “that seems really obvious, God.”

He said “it is obvious – but just because it is obvious doesn’t make it any less My Truth. Sometimes you need the obvious stated very obviously.” (I was smiling at this point…I think I even chuckled out loud…though I’m not much of a chuck-ler….)

More thoughts/impressions: it’s not “us and them” – it’s just ALL US – in need of forgiveness and grace and healing and wholeness. It’s not “us in the church” and “them outside the church” it’s all “us” – sinners…rebels…needy sheep…unkempt…untidy…unrighteous… undignified… unable… undeserving… understood (what a sweet word to end on!).

My favorite quote from tonite – from a man sharing about how God has delivered Him from drug addiction – “I can’t whoop him (the enemy) but He (God) can whoop him.” Amen, brother!!!

I won’t be at prayer night tonight…the kids and I are heading to Warrenton to see my family and celebrate some birthdays. Excited to be going…but I wish I could be in 2 places at one time. Prayer week never ceases to be special.

prayer week - wednesday night

Verses: Ezekiel 47:1-12, John 3:16-17, Romans 6:11, Matthew 9:35-10:1

The note on the handout said "take note of the various verses in (in the Ezekiel passage) that highlight the movement of the River. The emphasis is on the fact that God is already moving. It's His mission, His plan - not ours. He takes the initiative and invites us to move with Him."

I had barely finished reading that when my mind was consumed with the question "then why in the world are we so quick to take matters into our own hands? why do we gravitate towards our own way? why do we rely on ourselves??"

As I was asking that, God gave me a picture in mind - it was a picture of a couple dancing...but the woman was demanding to take the lead (i'll go ahead and preface this by saying, this has nothing to do with a woman's place or role or submission or anything...don't go there :)). In the picture, the woman was trying so hard to take the lead from the man -- but she really just needed to let the man lead the dance...He's capable of leading! The dance would be so much more beautiful if the One leads and the other lets Him lead. It was an awkward picture to watch...an awkward battle of the wills as both were trying to lead.

(the picture didn't "continue" but i'm curious what the Man (weird to reference God as 'the man') would have done had the woman absolutely refused to let him lead...would He find another partner to dance with? would He just sit down and let the woman dance on her own? I have no doubt that, if this is indeed a decent analogy, God as the Dancer is never going to stop loving us or give up on us...but if we are refusing to follow His lead, wouldn't He move to someone who is willing to let Him lead?)

I ended up spending most of my time reading from Matthew 9 and 10...the time went far too quickly! here are the ideas that God had me thinking about:

--from v 38 -- Jesus says to pray for harvest hands (harvest is plenty, workers are few) -- the very next verse (10:1) says "the prayer was no sooner prayed than it was answered." talk about quick!!! it was neat to read it like that.

--skipping on down to matthew 10:38-39ish "if your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself. But if you can forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and Me." i can forget about myself because He is thinking of me. i have the freedom NOT to continually be thinking of myself...His thoughts for me and about me and in regards to me are ENOUGH.

One of the questions on the handout said "What is God saying to us as a church in terms of moving with Him in the world?" His response to me: "Let Me lead. Do nothing in your own strength." That seems simultaneously far too simple and far too complicated.

prayer week - tuesday night - vul-ner-a-ble

Not quite sure how to put it all into words…

One of the very last things I wrote was “I love how the presence of God changes me…I came in down and pretty sad…a bit broken. I am leaving changed. Healing has happened. Little by little…I certainly feel more whole than when I came in. Thank you, God.”

The verses were Ezekiel 47:1-6, Mark 8:34-38

These questions were given:

What would it look like to “go all in” with God?

What fears (obstacles) get in the way?

What “other masters” or earthly attachments rob me of total devotion to Christ?

At some point He led me to this verse: Isaiah 30:8 “…go now and write it down. Put it in a book so that the record will be there…” that’s what I do – I put it all in books….so... these are the notes straight from my journal….

The stuff of the day is all over me – chalk, icing, ketchup, dirt, blood, probably even somebody’s spit…why does that bring tears to my eyes?

God’s response “that stuff all over you represents your fear – that your kids aren’t going to turn out “ok” – and that it’s a reflection that something’s wrong with you and your relationship with me if they mess up. That’s not yours to carry, dianna. Parent unto me – I’ve got it. There’s no need to defend them…or even to reprimand them in response to the opinions or the experiences of man. Eyes fixed on Me, dianna. Be the mom I want you to be…parent as I lead you to parent. Train them in righteousness. They aren’t perfect. You aren’t perfect. I AM PERFECT. I WILL provide rain for the seeds you are sowing (Isaiah 30:23). Plant the seeds I’ve given you to plant…unto me, dianna…eyes fixed on me.”

(side note for the blog only – ie, not from my journal – it’s so tough and sweet and beautiful and challenging when God is so direct.)

Thoughts from Ezekiel 47:1-6

The temple cannot contain the presence of God – we are His temple and we cannot contain the presence of God…we don’t have to try to let Him flow from us – He just does. As we live unto Him…completely unto Him…He flows in us and through us and out of us.

Mark 8:34-38 (keep in mind I’m reading from the message)

“Don’t do it in your own strength. Let Him lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat – I AM. Self-help is no help at all…” (and that lead right back to Isaiah 30:15 “settle down into complete dependence on ME.”)

Only in God’s kingdom can we

• Lose to gain
• Die to live
• Humble ourselves to be exalted

“I have the freedom to be careless (without care!) because I am in the care of God.

So then I looked at one of the questions and asked God…. “So what would it look like to go all in with You?”

His answer to me: total trust with the “outcome” of our children. Total trust that this adoption IS going to happen. Being unconcerned with money that is spent – just not concerned because you know your finances are under My authority. No comparisons…none. No insecurities. That’s what it would look like.

My thoughts in response: that feels impossible, God. I want all of these things…I want all of these things so much….but they just aren’t happening….not fully anyway….”

His response: “let me give them to you.”

My question: “how?”

His response: “little by little I’ll turn your weaknesses into strengths…I’ll give you practical action steps for areas that seem vague. Overtime you’ll see that I am transforming you –just as you’ve been recognizing it in other areas. For now – for always – just keep giving me all of you the best you know how…thoughts, feelings, confusion, hurt, excitement, all…bring it to me.”

I don’t know if any of that makes much sense to anyone…matters not. Just being obedient to share.