just wanted to share a little bit more about what happened in regards to last week...maybe it'll give some of you some closure :) ha. (i sure hope you can "hear" my voice as you're reading this...i'm not really serious about anyone needing closure on this!)(but if you do....here ya go....)
the end of the story is that we're sticking with bethany (i know some of you think we're crazy for that...and that's ok...). for now that's where God has us...and we're staying where He has us until He tells us to move.
we met with our lady from bethany this morning...she shared some thoughts with us...we shared some thoughts with her. the general idea is that she thinks she said some things that i'm not sure i heard....i'm not saying she didn't say them...(though i'm not saying she did say them! i'm just saying that some things were not clearly communicated). it was all just a pretty big misunderstanding...an emotional rollercoaster of a misunderstanding, that's for sure. i do know this...we all need grace. lots of grace.
i know what happened last week was a crazy happenstance....it shouldn't have happened like it did...but the Truth of the matter is that it did happen - and God loved on us through it. to experience God's love like that...ahhh....breathe deep - it's good stuff. and, in addition to experiencing His love, we're better prepared now....i know some key questions to ask if anything like that ever comes up again. i'm thankful for what happened...it absolutely exhausted me...but i'm thankful!
i was thinking about things and wondering how to proceed from here -- do we share even the tiniest of possibilities when they come up or do we wait until things feel more "sure" before we say anything? i'm certainly leaning towards being more open and vulnerable and transparent than ever.
one of the hard parts is that i really don't know this system...apparently social workers/adoption agencies/foster care advocates are constantly being sent information on children that are available -- they are these sweet little ads that describe the children and give some basic information. from my understanding, if a social worker has a family that's interested they send them (the caseworker of the child/children who are up for adoption) that family's homestudy and make some sort of contact with the children's caseworker. i know and trust that that IS being done for us - we sat and listened to our bethany lady leave messages and talk to a case worker in another county. we know she's presenting us well. but what i don't know is what the chances are of us "getting" one of the sibling sets that we've seen a flyer for...my big question is are these children "really" available -- or is it like a job posting where the job has already been filled but it's a requirement to publicly post the job. i feel like a cynic saying that....but i've seen these "ads" for these children and i think "they sound like a perfect fit!" -- but then nothing comes of it. or is it like a really good deal on ebay...you have to know how to do the bidding in order to get what you want. seems quite ridiculous to equate bringing children into your family to buying things on ebay or applying for a job....but i just don't know how the system really works - or even how best to learn the system. different people give different answers. we'll just keep asking God what our next step is...and trust that He's got a plan
for now, please consider joining us in praying for a sibling group that i'm going to refer to as "the royal family." i've just got to say that these kids need a mama named dianna (even if it's not me!). we should know a little more about them after wednesday (God please bless those children's caseworker who is on vacation...may she rest and be refreshed...but then may she come back to work and be drawn to the messages and emails and our case study waiting for her. may Your will be done.)
