Truth: I am not alone...and neither are you.

the enemy is a jerk face liar.

long story short:  i hit a low recently.  a very low low.  i'm not sure i've ever felt so down and discouraged in my life.  but i did.  (and it wasn't a "one and done" kind of moment....it's been an ongoing feeling that sort of took a nose dive....)(but before you even start, there's no need to worry...i'm ok! i promise).

and in the midst of it i felt so alone....

photo by lee heywood

i wanted to share what i was dealing with  - i wanted to be real and vulnerable and authentic (because i love those things and they matter to me and that's what i long for from others!)....

but in that place of sadness and discouragement, i felt that i couldn't share what i was dealing with with anyone. i thought i would be judged...or thought less of...or given cliche responses (which actually aren't all that bad sometimes - i should apologize to cliches for being so hard on them)...

i thought i would be misheard or repeated (and repeated incorrectly at that)...

i thought...

BUT THEN (don't you love those words)

God said, "come on, dianna...you can share.  you can be real.  they won't judge.  just share...."

so i did.  with one friend...

and then with another....and as God prompted, i emailed another and another....in varying degrees, i asked them to pray for me...

and all of a sudden i had a friend praying for me in New York...and one in Texas...and one in Madagascar...and one in Columbus...and one in England....and one in North Carolina...

and something broke.

and there has been relief and release and BETTER (another word i love) (not to mention a flood of Truth, encouragement, life and love in my inbox and in my life)

and i think it has to do with the fact that i chose to listen to TRUTH rather than the enemy's lies.

the jerk face liar wants us to feel like we're alone.  that we can't share.  that we can't be real.  no one will understand.  you will be judged.  they'll think less of you.

that wasn't the case... (but even if it was, um...so what?)

there is power in obedience...there is power in prayer.  i don't understand it - but i trust it.  i trust the One who is hearing those prayers -- and i trust the ones who are praying those prayers.

and i am grateful.  honestly, i don't think the "down and discouraged" is over for me (i wonder if it ever will be this side of Perfection...) - but i'm grateful for the better....

and i'm grateful for the truth that i am not alone...and neither are you.

(and if you feel like you're alone, feel free to email me.... diannacash@yahoo.com)

5 minutes on the word of the week: JOY

joy

“you WILL have JOY.”  He had us say it to one another.  Boldly. Loudly. With great confidence and assurance. 

I could hardly say it.  And I could hardly receive it. 

I LONG to have joy…and I believe that God longs for me to have joy…and in some ways I DO have joy – but in other ways, I often feel anything but joy.  To be more raw than this short post really allows, I have experienced a depth of sadness like never before in recent weeks….but I’m still longing for joy.  As long as I’m longing, I think I’ll be alright. 

“JOY!  Unspeakable joy….ours in great abundance.” Yes, please. 

“Gladness and Joy will overtake them.”  Yes, please.

“Inexpressible and glorious joy!” Yes, please.

“Joy, exceeding great joy!” Yes, please.

I trust that it will be mine.  It IS mine.  I will have joy.  I do have joy – even if I don’t “feel” the joy.  I taste the joy on a daily basis…and I’m hungry for more. 

You WILL have JOY.  And I will have it, too.

it's thursday in some places...and tomorrow might be a bit busy....

• wrapping meaningful christmas presents
• vitamin c, zinc, echinacea (and their nearly immediate results)
• cough medicine, vicks vapor rub & humidifiers
• sweet little shopping trip with caroline
• BEAUTIFUL night with Allen Levi (and friends)

• "colors of india" bracelet (another reminder of the fact that outward appearance isn't all that important!)(and i'm thankful for my super special friend that has a matching one)(not sure if she knows she has a matching one yet or not)
• the way lauren marquez speaks life and encouragement.  
• fabulous cheeseburgers & conversation with keith and pam
• little christmas shopping with nick
• time with nick at pine mountain (amazing birthday present)

• uninterrupted time with my best friend
• gas station french vanilla coffee
• subway coupons
• fun times on the treetop adventure

• clearview and climbing with christy collins (how much alliteration can i get in one entry?!)
• breakfast for christmas eve dinner
• the way nick gives gifts (and the gifts he gives)

• christmas (it may sound cliche...but i'm thankful for christmas - it makes the list all year round)

'tis the day

• yaya's invitation for me and the kids to meet her for lunch thursday and her plans for the evening (including very tasty smores treats)
• another great varsity lunch
• getting to see michelle deneen
• vacation from vacation...just us
• new word: Gemutichkeit

• boiled peanuts and putt-putt
• having a fire in the fireplace (every evening)
• watching a christmas movie (ever evening)
• nick's intentional leadership of our family
• "choose to tune in to me...hear the beautiful music of my peace" - jesus calling for kids
• hiking/walking to dukes falls
• pigs n' blankets
• fresh starts
• the power of prayer
• emma's funniness
• the comfort of a hoodie
• ramen noodle broth
• caroline's tie dye adventure
• nick's willingness to help with the tie dying!

• sickness will end

never ending...

• fun date stamp from target (and the discount the sweet lady gave me for no reason at all)
• amy & kevin's willingness to drive down to c-town for the weekend
• swing prayers & possibilities

• time with mary
• salted caramel hot chocolate
• fried pickles
• marco's pizza - oh so delicious

• matt's generosity in regards to previously mentioned pizza
• finally taking the time (and having the internet) to listen to the songs jess hall sent me months ago
• emma's help - REAL help! with christmas cards
• seeing aaron praying for emma

• the kindness of marvin to give me a discount at old navy (not sure why all these people are giving me undeserved discounts...but i'm grateful!)
• happy heart shirt (and the "be amazing" shirt, too)

• "fire picture" that lee & amy shared
• no line at the post office
• dr. awesome's awesome abilities and extreme generosity in the realm of dentistry
• celebrating emma

• conversation and a mug (or 3) of apple cider with holly price
• rachel's "thursday emails"
• conversations so rich they could go on and on and on

5 minutes on the word of the week: Wonder

wonder

I wonder if I should even continue on with this “word of the week” exercise.  I wonder if anyone reads them.  I wonder if I’m “doing this right.”  I wonder what the point is.  I wonder wonder wonder….

I wonder and I think of the word ponder…and I wonder and ponder how two words can be spelled exactly the same except for the first letter and yet sound so differently.  Which kind of brings to mind the fact that my siblings and I are so similar, yet so different.  Sometimes I wonder how 4 people could be raised by the same parents, in the same house, on the same street, go to the same school and yet turn out to be 4 very distinct individuals. 

But then again, when I really consider my 2 amazing brothers and my incredibly special sister, I think we’re pretty much like “wonder and ponder” – pretty much the same except for our first letters and the way we sound.  I kind of think we’re 5/6’s the same….5/6’s of our core is the same – we all share common values and virtues…at our core we each care very much for the world and the people in it.  Each of us are living lives of service in some way or another.  There’s 1/6 that’s different….very different – but that’s what makes our siblinghood all the more special (and what makes the political conversations so fun to listen to).

I wonder why God chose to give me 3 siblings that love and care about me so much (and who are all around awesome people). 

of epic proportions (2 weeks worth)

• thanksgiving card and heart from remy

• peaceful bus ride - all 9 hours
• all the views along the way

• delicious meal, nice conversation
• emma & benny giggling and playing together

• nice place to stay in tana
• "guest house" concept (vs. hotel) - fellowship & community, not isolation
• stack o' cards (orchestrated by shea)
  

• safe flights
• peaceful kids on flights

• my whole family came to the airport to welcome us
• 1st stop = chick-fil-a
• finding things i forgot about
• jimmy fallon youtube fix
• happy girls in a bubble bath

• easy mac for emma's breakfast (might as well)
• crazy times for flying = pretty much no jet lag
• pigs n' blankets
• softest pj pants ever
• eli making an epic train track
• being with amy to celebrate her birthday (and all the enjoyable parts of the day!)
• thanksgiving

• beautiful thankful story
• delightful news in an email about a certain person's decision to stay
• cinnamon crunch bagel
• nick's ordination
• the faithfulness of my family
• tim hall is safely home
• long lunch with a trusted friend
• the kids' delight in sweeping

• getting to homeschool for a bit (i miss it)

• staying up far too late with 5 treasured friends
• mid-town coffee with molly

• elayne's gracious hospitality when we showed up early and crashed their family's dinner
• corndogs & cheeseballs & cherry coke (and the precious friends who provided them)
• a beautiful offering

• amy taylor's thoughtful and generous gifts
• caroline's palm kisses
• perfect shoes at vapor

The Cabin

A most special place...near and dear to my heart and to the heart of our family. 

...Where love and family and amazing food collide in a giant symphony of grace and peace and memories. 

...Where it doesn't matter who you are or where you came from, you are most welcome. 

...Where walks are taken, trees are climbed, 4-wheelers are ridden, and swings are made useful. 

...Where the food is deep fried and made with so much love you can taste it...and the "taste testing" is never frowned upon....and somehow the food seems to get better and better everytime.  

...Where family (related or not, still family) gathers around a table that's about to collapse under the weight of the food and prays and gives thanks for the blessings that have been lavished on us.  

...Where God continues to pour out His generous love and abundant provision....now more than ever before.