favorite song right now: "Here's My Heart" by David Crowder

I heard an incredible song on the radio while we were in Columbus (88.5 the Truth, how I've missed you!!!).  It's David Crowder's "here's my heart" -- powerful words that blessed me and strengthened my spirit and resounded in my soul.  

Maybe the song will bless you, too (here are the words...and then a link to a youtube video of the song).  

Here's my heart Lord,
Speak what is true

‘Cause I am found, I am Yours
I am loved, I'm made pure
I have life, I can breathe
I am healed, I am free

‘Cause You are strong, You are sure
You are life, You endure
You are good, always true
You are light breaking through

Here's my life Lord,
Speak what is true

You are more than enough
You are here, You are love
You are hope, You are grace
You're all I have, You're everything

5 minutes on the word of the week: right(s)

Right (s)

The word given to me this week from the ever lovely word giver: Right(s)

And she added “As in: you've gotta fight, for your right, to party! See Also:  the bill of rights.”

Which really has me thinking not only about the Beastie Boys, but also that this word “right” (and/or “rights”) has so many different meanings!!!  I can turn right, be right, have rights…I can fight for rights, have my rights read to me…what about children’s rights? Animal rights? The right to bear arms (and the right to bare arms)? All kinds of possibilities…all kinds of cans of worms that could be popped open (aside: I’ve never actually seen a can of worms…I’ve seen a plastic container of worms but no cans of worms….).  I don’t even know where to go with this word "right(s)" (and 1/5 of my time is GONE!!).

I’ll head in the direction of “when it’s wrong to be right”  -- that was the title of an article that has had a significant impact on my life.  Basically it was talking about how being right isn’t always the most important thing (the article was specifically talking about this concept in the context of marriage…but it applies to all relationships and to life in general!). 

So many times in life we think our way is the way and maybe even the only way…and that’s just really not very true most of the time.  The reality is that most of the time there are lots of different ways. 

Silly example: when we lived in Columbus there were quite a few different routes to get from our house to pretty much any other place in town.  Nick and I usually chose different routes….I preferred mine, he preferred his. And it would have been ridiculous for me to suggest that his way was wrong and my way was right. Just because it’s not the way I would do it/not the way I would go, does not at all mean that’s wrong. 

Sometimes we get hung up on our own “right”…and we miss the chance to experience another version of right.  And in the words of somebody (Aerosmith?) I “…don’t want to miss a thing…”  What might we be missing when we refuse to accept any other "right" other than our own?

such kindness.

• sacred moments at starbucks (revving engines and all)
• new found love and appreciation for apple cider
• the way caroline loves on little ones (especially this little one)

• holly & gill's kindness (and tasty dessert and beautiful hospitality)
• the way Lane cares for and invests in my children (and in his own)
• the white car cranked right up!
• the (surprising) tastiness of mcdonald's caramel frappe
• the ongoing blessing of the cards shea collected for us
• the beautiful gifts from beth
• the gift of getting to see beth & her family
• God's ability to always outgive us

• being surrounded by such a "great cloud of witnesses" in lane & wendy's living room
• 1 suitcase is packed 
• a new monthly donor
• pretty blue fingers and toes
• the perfect last breakfast

• cash/white kid group hug
• shopping spree splurge at the airport thanks to aunt amy
• lovely last day
• eye spy enthusiasm with emma
• 56 reasons why we love yaya

Love Does - favorite quotes from the book!

I just finished reading a delightful book called "Love Does" by Bob Goff.  I started reading it after we got on the plane for our flight to Georgia - a girl walked by as she was boarding the plane and said (very enthusiastically and quite loudly) - "THAT IS AN AWESOME BOOK."  We talked for a quick minute (as much as one can as other passengers were pressing in and encouraging her to go ahead and move on through to her seat!).  Made me smile to connect with this stranger over the book that I had finally decided to read (and makes me smile even more after reading the book).    

It was definitely an encouraging, whimsical, insightful and life-giving collection of thoughts, capers & stories.  I'm glad I read it (even if it took me quite a while...I read bits and pieces here and there....this sweet book has been across the ocean and all over the state of Georgia).

Here are some of my favorite quotes (mainly because I want to have them all in one place):

Something happens when you feel ownership.  You no longer feel like a spectator or consumer, because you’re an owner.  Faith is at its best when it’s that way too.  It’s best lived when it’s owned.

You don’t need a plan; you just need to be present.

…love is never stationary.  In the end, love doesn’t just keep thinking about it or keep planning for it.  Simply put:  love does.

…he was “with me” in spirit as much as with his presence.  He was committed to me and he believed in me.  I wasn’t a project; I was his friend.

I used to think I had to act a certain way to follow God, but now I know God doesn’t want us to be typical.

He (Jesus) spent time with the kinds of people most of us spend our lives avoiding.

I don’t validate my faith with a church attendance scorecard. I think of church as a vibrant community of people consisting of 2 or more of varied backgrounds gathering around Jesus.  Sometimes they are at a place that might have a steeple or auditorium seating.  But it’s just as likely that church happens elsewhere, like coffee shops or on the edge of a glacier or in the bush in Uganda.  …it’s a matter of the heart, the place doesn’t matter…it’s Jesus plus nothing – not even a building.

What Jesus said we could do is leave typical behind.  We could leave all the comparisons and all the trappings and all the pretending of religion. 

…love that never grows tired or is completely finished finding ways to fully express itself. 

Failure is just part of the process, and it’s not just okay; it’s better than okay.  God doesn’t want failure to shut us down.  God didn’t make it a three-strikes-and-you’re-out sort of thing.  It’s more about how God helps us dust ourselves off so that we can swing for the fences again.  And all this without keeping a meticulous record of our screw-ups.

Things that go wrong can shape us or scar us.

God finds us in our failures and in our successes.

I used to be afraid of failing at the things that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.

God’s grace comes in all shapes, sizes and circumstances as God continues to unfold something magnificent in me. 

When you go after something you love, you’ll do anything it takes to get it, even if it costs everything. 

I think God sometimes use the completely inexplicable events in our lives to point us toward Him.  We get to decide each time whether we will lean in toward what is unfolding and say yes or back away.

Am I the right guy?  I don’t know, but I’m the guy being asked….

Maybe God is doing some inexplicable things in your life.  Each of us gets to decide every time whether to lean in or step back – to say yes, ignore it or tell God why he has the wrong person.

I get the invitation every morning when I wake up to actually live a life of complete engagement, a life or whimsy, a life where love does. 

It’s the invitation to actually live, to fully participate in this amazing life for one more day.

Decide to be fully engaged.

If people don’t want to come to the banquet, he’s not bitter or anything.  He loves them all the same, but he’s not going to force them.

A couple of other things happen when we accept Jesus’ invitation to participate with Him in life.  Obstacles that seems insurmountable aren’t.  Impediments that we believe disqualify us don’t.  

Accept the invitation to participate.

…think about how incredible a big life really is and how powerful the One who is throwing the banquet is too.

He asks if we’ll give up that thing we’re so proud of, that thing we believe causes us to matter in the eyes of the world and give it up to follow Him.  He’s asking us “will you take what you think defines you, leave it behind, and let Me define who you are instead?”

When we get our security from Christ, we no longer have to look for it in the world, and that’s a pretty good trade.

Power is easy to spot because it usually comes in the form of grace and acceptance, as well as sincere love and respect.

…fight the temptation to merely have the right wrapper and instead be exactly who He made us to be and who we are right where we are. 

Why does spellcheck make me capitalize satan’s name? I don’t want to.  It’s giving him too much credit.

Jesus doesn’t give satan any grace.  He just speaks the Truth to him and then tells him to go away. 

When God is big enough and loves me enough to say He forgives me, I should actually believe Him.  I shouldn’t keep feeling bad about all the times I’ve messed up because that’s ignoring what God said…

You don’t need to know everything when you’re with someone you trust.

I especially see evidence of God in other people’s lives.  What’s beautiful about them always looks an awful lots like God to me. 

God doesn’t think any less of us when things don’t go right. 

Our infinite value, the original masterwork that we are, is places in us because God is the master artist, not us. 

Secretly incredible people keep what they do one of God’s best kept secrets because the only one who needs to know, the God of the universe, already knows. 

…doing capers without any capes.

Don’t take the bait that if we do incredible things Jesus will dig us more.  He can’t.  He already digs us more.

Getting passed by can feel like a great injury.  But it’s not.  It’s people like us that can be secretly incredible and get the most done.

…doesn’t measure his value by what he has but by what he’d be willing to give up.

I don’t think bible verses were meant to be thrown like grenades at each other.  They were meant for us to use to point each other toward love and grace an invite us into something much bigger.

I want someone else’s suffering to matter more to me.

When I put on a suit and tie and jump on a plane to go take a deposition, we call it “fund raising.”

Just because we weren’t going to plan everything didn’t mean we weren’t going to be strategic.

God’s love…no reservoir can hold it, no disappointment can stop it, and no impediment can contain it.  It can’t be waved off, put off or shut down…

Pick something you aren’t just able to do; instead, pick something you feel like you were made to do and then do lots of that. 

sneaking it in...20 minutes of thursday left in GA.

• game of clue on christmas day
• christmas cotton candy
• clever/entertaining marketing

• laps around lamb's lake with amy t.
• TIME at the white house
• "you will have joy"
• christmas letters from sally

• being able to eat on both sides of my mouth (the tooth that lost its filling back in may is fixed!!!!)
• i am not alone.
• time with the trapnell family

• errands & lunch with emma & poppa
• "it's a girl" (molly is an AMAZING momma to her 3 boys...but i know God's got something extra special in mind for her and her soon-enough-will-be-here daughter!)
• lane's breakfast making abilities
• christmas in crawford

• waking up to the magical smell of coffee and bacon
•  little girls and their made up games on the trampoline
• that moment when you realize the kids are all happily occupied and you're getting to do exactly what you want without interruptions
• nick & emma's ballet on the trampoline
• 3 cash kids flying around on the golf cart
• seeing erin & kari

• 2015 - a year of joy
• bob goff's book "Love Does"
• amazing little ninjas

Truth: I am not alone...and neither are you.

the enemy is a jerk face liar.

long story short:  i hit a low recently.  a very low low.  i'm not sure i've ever felt so down and discouraged in my life.  but i did.  (and it wasn't a "one and done" kind of moment....it's been an ongoing feeling that sort of took a nose dive....)(but before you even start, there's no need to worry...i'm ok! i promise).

and in the midst of it i felt so alone....

photo by lee heywood

i wanted to share what i was dealing with  - i wanted to be real and vulnerable and authentic (because i love those things and they matter to me and that's what i long for from others!)....

but in that place of sadness and discouragement, i felt that i couldn't share what i was dealing with with anyone. i thought i would be judged...or thought less of...or given cliche responses (which actually aren't all that bad sometimes - i should apologize to cliches for being so hard on them)...

i thought i would be misheard or repeated (and repeated incorrectly at that)...

i thought...

BUT THEN (don't you love those words)

God said, "come on, dianna...you can share.  you can be real.  they won't judge.  just share...."

so i did.  with one friend...

and then with another....and as God prompted, i emailed another and another....in varying degrees, i asked them to pray for me...

and all of a sudden i had a friend praying for me in New York...and one in Texas...and one in Madagascar...and one in Columbus...and one in England....and one in North Carolina...

and something broke.

and there has been relief and release and BETTER (another word i love) (not to mention a flood of Truth, encouragement, life and love in my inbox and in my life)

and i think it has to do with the fact that i chose to listen to TRUTH rather than the enemy's lies.

the jerk face liar wants us to feel like we're alone.  that we can't share.  that we can't be real.  no one will understand.  you will be judged.  they'll think less of you.

that wasn't the case... (but even if it was, um...so what?)

there is power in obedience...there is power in prayer.  i don't understand it - but i trust it.  i trust the One who is hearing those prayers -- and i trust the ones who are praying those prayers.

and i am grateful.  honestly, i don't think the "down and discouraged" is over for me (i wonder if it ever will be this side of Perfection...) - but i'm grateful for the better....

and i'm grateful for the truth that i am not alone...and neither are you.

(and if you feel like you're alone, feel free to email me.... diannacash@yahoo.com)

5 minutes on the word of the week: JOY

joy

“you WILL have JOY.”  He had us say it to one another.  Boldly. Loudly. With great confidence and assurance. 

I could hardly say it.  And I could hardly receive it. 

I LONG to have joy…and I believe that God longs for me to have joy…and in some ways I DO have joy – but in other ways, I often feel anything but joy.  To be more raw than this short post really allows, I have experienced a depth of sadness like never before in recent weeks….but I’m still longing for joy.  As long as I’m longing, I think I’ll be alright. 

“JOY!  Unspeakable joy….ours in great abundance.” Yes, please. 

“Gladness and Joy will overtake them.”  Yes, please.

“Inexpressible and glorious joy!” Yes, please.

“Joy, exceeding great joy!” Yes, please.

I trust that it will be mine.  It IS mine.  I will have joy.  I do have joy – even if I don’t “feel” the joy.  I taste the joy on a daily basis…and I’m hungry for more. 

You WILL have JOY.  And I will have it, too.