scary close quotes

i just finished a really good book...

what makes a book really good in my unprofessional opinion?

• it makes me think (whether i agree or disagree isn't completely relevant)
• it has good quotes
• it invites me and challenges me to be more of who God created me to be

this book meets the criteria.

here are my favorite quotes (i like having them all in one place):

The world would be a healthier place if nobody were allowed to wear a costume.

Grace only sticks to our imperfections.

There are more lifeguards than sharks…for the most part, other people aren’t out to get us.

It costs personal fear to be authentic but the reward is integrity, and by that I mean a soul fully integrated, no different between his act and his actual person.  Having integrity is about being the same person on the inside that we are on the outside, and if we don’t have integrity, life becomes exhausting. 

He…holds compassion in one hand and justice in the other.  He offers both liberally and yet they don’t cancel each other out. 

You will never have a healthy relationship with a deceptive or manipulative person. 

They offer grace…the grace in which they assume I’m a really great guy who’s just trying to figure things out, and they politely show me the error of my ways. 

Tell them (your children) they can grow up and be whoever they want and nobody gets to tell them who they are except God.

How many people have been made to fear something because somebody else had an agenda.

I believe God is a fan of people connecting and I think the enemy of God is a fan of people breaking off into paranoid tribes. 

It’s true you’re bad at relationships but it’s also true that you’re good at relationships….and I reminded him of all the people who love him and all the people he’s loved.  I told him I thought it was unfair for a man to be judged by a moment, by a season.  We are all more complicated than that.

My hope is such a fierce pruning will help create a strong and tender man who understands himself and people and the nature of love better than he ever could have before he made his mistakes.  

I don’t know why it is, exactly, but the people with the healthiest self esteem are also the greatest at intimacy.  I’m not talking about arrogant people.  I’m talking about people who know they are both good and bad yet believe at the deepest level they are really good for people.

The most powerful, most attractive person we can be is who we already are, an ever-changing being that is becoming and will never arrive, but has opinions  about what is seen along the journey. 

Kids with parents who are honest about their shortcomings seem to do better in life.  parents who aren’t trying to be perfect or pretend they are perfect have kids who trust and respect them more. 

It’s as though their family was a refuge, a place where everybody could be themselves with no fear of being judged. 

There’s a difference between apologizing and asking forgiveness.  An apology is a statement…asking forgiveness involves giving power to the person you’re seeking forgiveness from.  –paul young

I’m starting to wonder if that’s not the whole point of life, to be thankful for it and to live in such a way others are thankful for theirs as well.

We believed in grace over guilt and we believe anybody could become great if they were challenged within the context of a community. 

When we experienced tension she made respectful comments and then brought up the subject again when the moment was right. 

I’m supposed to contribute something to the people around me and create an environment where healthy relationships can flourish.

What’s going on in other people’s minds is none of your business. (this is one of my number one takeaways from the book)

She was a master at resolving conflict and had absolutely no skill at manipulation.

Every person has a longing that will never be fulfilled and it’s our job to let it live and breathe and suffer within it as a way of developing our character. 

Perfect is subjective.

…there was never a reason to overreact. 

(no offense to this guy)

And this slow death and resurrection will likely last the rest of my life.

I want to teach our children to get scary close, and more, how to be brave.  I want to teach them that love is worth what it costs.