FAQ #2-13

a friend (a sweet, beautiful, lovely, amazing friend!) sent me an email filled with EXCELLENT questions about Mercy Ships...alot of them have been asked by many of you. thus, this post of questions and answers (keep in mind, these are the answers that i think to be true - based on what we've been told or what i've read...it may not all be completely accurate...but i'm not knowingly putting anything false into print!).

Can you tell me more about how things work?

i can attempt to answer this one...but you may be better off to go to the website: mercyships.org From what i understand, the ship docks in a port for 11 months at a time (except for right now it's in TOGO for 6 months, not 11....) -- while there, surgeries are going on daily. it's not a "hospital" like we have here - in that you can't just come with any need and hope to be "fixed" -- it's more of a specialized surgical center. there are weeks of only club foot surgeries, weeks of only cleft palet "fixing", weeks of other plastic surgeries (removal of tumors and such - tumors growing on the outside of the body), weeks of surgeries for women (to help with issues that came as a result of childbirth), weeks of eye surgeries, etc. specific doctors are lined up to be on the ship at specific times...

there is a huge screening that takes place when the boat first arrives - people come (sometimes hundreds and hundreds of miles!) and are screened to see if the doctors on the ship can actually help them with whatever is going on. if the nurses/doctors doing the screening think their issue can indeed be helped, they are given a day and time to return to the boat....on that day they show up and are admitted for their surgery (or pre-surgery...or whatever is required!)

just like a hospital here, there are so many more jobs than "just" the doctors and nurses (that's where we come in!!). the rest of the crew of the ship makes everything outside of the hospital happen SO THAT the hospital can operate (literally!!!). there are cooks and engineers and computer people and someone running the "ship shop" and the cafe...there are people doing the laundry for the hospital...there are teachers (for the ship's academy) and actual boat people (so that if/when the ship needs to sail, it's ready). i know there are other jobs - those are just the ones that came to mind....

there are also "mercy teams" doing things off of the ship -- dental clinics, various teaching and training (in a huge variety of topics), working with local hospitals and churches. i really don't have a clue what ALL is involved and what ALL is being done. glad God sees the big picture.

What will the living situation be like? (will you have your own kitchen and stuff or does everyone share? etc)

We will have a family cabin on the ship - kids will have bunk beds (what they are used to!!). nick and i may or may not have our own room - we may sleep in the room that would also serve as the living room. some of the family cabins are 3 bedrooms + living area, others are 2 bedrooms + living room. we'll be fine either way. we do not have a full kitchen - but we don't need one...there's a dining room (cafeteria) on the ship that will provide all of our meals (i'm quite excited about this!!!). we don't HAVE to eat there...but i feel like we will eat 99% of our meals there (part of what we're paying for with our "crew fees" is the meals). some families get their food put into containers and then take it to their room in order to have some quiet family time (we've heard the dining room can be quite loud!). and most people get cereal from the kitchen for breakfast - it's kept in containers in their room. as far as we know there will be a small fridge - so we could have a small supply of milk and juice and such.

there is a kitchen for crew use in case we ever feel like cooking - or in case we want to make a cake for someone's birthday or something like that.

What will happen with the kids school?

the kids will go to school on the ship. it's called the "mercy academy" (i think). honestly, that's something i'm having to surrender to God -- i LIKE homeschooling them and i feel like we've got a good plan in place...i don't necessarily want to give that up. we're excited about the academy though - i think it's about the closest thing to homeschooling we could have without actually homeschooling. they very much focus on jesus - studying scripture and prayer are a big part of the school day. the classes are small - usually somewhere between 2 and 6 students. i think our kids will enjoy it and thrive in it (even though i love homeschooling, i think that eli will do well to be learning from someone else - i think he'll be less likely to complain about doing school work if the instructions are coming from someone else. does that make sense??)

What else will they do on the boat?

i have no idea - but i have no doubt that there will be plenty for them to do!! i feel like one of my kids' strengths is not getting bored ("i'm bored" is NOT a cash family phrase! if they say it, they are quickly reminded that only boring people get bored)(no offense to anyone who gets bored...it's just my "philosophy" that one can always find SOMETHING to do to occupy your brain so that you don't get bored! back to the subject at hand...) - they are good at building forts and making up games. they love reading and being read to. there's a play area on one of the decks - with swings and balls and such....i think there's a place to ride scooters...there's a library...and there are also plenty of opportunity to get off the boat (that was something that was news to me - originally i thought we were on the boat and staying on the boat and not getting off the boat except for every now and then for special excursions...but the reality (or what i am understanding the reality to be) is that we can fairly freely go to and from the boat (though there is tight security - we can come and go...but people that aren't supposed to be coming and going will not be able to do so! and usually people hire security for their outings) -- i'm assuming (and hoping that!) we can go play soccer with some local children....we can find some orphans to love on...we can attend church wherever we'd like (there's "church" on the ship on thursday night - it's on thursday so we have the chance to find a local church to plug into on sundays....).

What will Nick's role be?

nick has been hired for a human resources management position. basically he'll be working with everyone that comes onto the ships - short term and long term - helping to make sure they are "settled" and doing their jobs (the Human Resources Office, the Chaplain's office and the Staff Development office all work together for the health and well being of the ship's crew!). he'll probably be doing lots of problem solving...and even some counseling when needed (if people have issues, he'll be a main point of contact for them). i think his job will be 8-5 (generally) monday through friday. from what i can understand, we'll all be able to eat lunch together (kids included!). in the evenings, he'll have his seminary stuff to do...(but that doesn't have anything to do with his job on the ship at this point)

What will your role be?

my main job is "primary care giver" for our children. mercy ships requires that one parent work and one parent be the primary care giver. i'll be given a "minor job" to do while the kids are in school (someone mentioned that mercy ships expects me to work in my minor job about 80% of the time that the kids are in school....). i don't know what that minor job will be - i'd love for it to be in HR with nick (i love working with him!!!). but it really doesn't matter...they can put me in the kitchen doing meal prep...or cleaning bathrooms....or washing towels...or pretty much anything. i just want to help in whatever way is needed...i like helping :)

Do you know how long you will be gone?

our inital committment is 2 years (that's what they consider "long term crew"). honestly (always), i don't know how long we'll be gone. i don't really want to think about that. for as long as we've been in TAs we've never been looking for the next thing - we've just served to the best of our ability where we were, not looking for the next thing....i want to do that in the next season of our life. we're trusting that God will tell us when/if we are to move on...we'll just seek Him day by day and listen as best we can!

How are people around there handling the news?

mixed emotions. sadness. excitement. some hurt. little envy here and there. some denial. lots of questions. all in all, i think we are very supported -- people are sad to see us go (which is rather nice to hear! it would be sad if everyone was like "good riddance! glad they're gone!" or if they were indifferent)...but i think most everyone is also proud of our obedience and proud of us for stepping out in faith (big step.)

What about your families?

the same as above -- maybe with a tad (lot) more sadness and grief and hurt. when we talk to them, for the most part, it's pretty positive - sad but positive...but i know there are other thoughts/feelings out there that aren't necessarily being said to us. i know i can't do anything about that....if they don't bring it to us, there's no way we can even begin to help them process it or understand this. our desire is to honor God...our desire is also not to hurt anyone...but that's secondary to honoring God (though some would say honoring God would not require you to hurt others....that's a tough one.)

How do the kids feel?

the kids are excited!!!! caroline had a bit of a sad moment the other night when she realized that we'll be moving before she can do the theatre camp that she really wants to do (but she got to do one unexpectedly in january - i felt like that was God's provision!!). eli's biggest concern is getting all (and i do mean ALL) of his stuffed animals on to the ship. i think i've got a pretty good plan worked out (one that he's willing to go along with!!!). they've watched a dvd that has 8 or so "episodes" of a little girl named freida who lived on the ship....they LOVED getting to see her and see more of the ship through her eyes. that dvd is probably the thing that has helped them be excited. they asked for prayer tuesday night at church (prayer week) - so the kids and the adults working with the kids prayed for them...i love that!!

We are SO excited for what this means for our children. We LOVE the thought of all they are going to get to see and experience and BE as they live & serve on Mercy Ships. Nick and I are confident that this is call to serve on Mercy Ships is for our entire family - not just for me and him. We are excited that they'll get to be around people from 40+ nations...that some of the students in their class will most likely be from other countries. We're excited that they'll get to be in the daily company of 400+ individuals who are committed to loving their Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength - and who have given their lives to serve Him. We're excited that they'll be able to practice so many of the things they've been hearing all their lives.

When will you be officially leaving Columbus?

as far as i know we are to be in texas on june 9 (not sure what time). i would imagine that we may leave on june 8 and get as far as we can...spend the night somewhere...and finish the trip on the 9th. because we can bring anything that we want shipped to the ship (ha) in addition to what we'll fly with (what we'll need while we're in texas those 3-4 weeks), we may rent a little uhaul trailer (that's just my idea for the time being....). i'm really not sure of all the logistics of getting us and our stuff to texas...we'll also be lining up childcare for our children for the hours we're in class (we haven't got that all figured out yet) - so how we get out there may depend on if someone is available to drive our car back (and even whether or not we drive our car depends on who buys it).

how can i pray for you right now?

as far as prayers -- the "big" things are (in no particular order) 1) that our house will sell (someone is looking at it...but we're not sure it's all going to work out....i'm really hoping it works out...for alot of reasons!!!!) 2)another huge thing is for the people that God will bring into TAs - especially for nick's job....again (like having in mind who i think should buy our house!), i have someone in mind for nick's job - he's been talked to...now he's praying. i want God to make it clear that he's the man for the job (or if he's not, that's fine...just let us know who is!!!!) 3)for the financial support we'll be raising....i think we're going to wait until after the "big" TA fundraiser to start our fundraising -- but that means we won't really start until early march....which really isn't that far away...but i would LOVE to go ahead and get started and know that we've got SOMETHING raised/pledged....but i think it will be best for TAs if we wait... 4)for the hearts of our families and friends -- especially our families. lots of thoughts and opinions and feelings have been shared with us - and we value and respect them all....but those feelings aren't going to affect whether we stay or go - God's made it clear that we're going. we don't want them to be mad at us....but the Truth is that it's ok if they are (as much as the thought of that hurts!). God's going to take care of them, too.

What else? feel free to send me any and all of your questions! (not that i have all the answers...but i certainly like questions). dianna@teenadvisors.org

FAQ #1 so what about our adoption?

alot of people have asked about our adoption process in light of the mercy ships stuff. thus, a post trying to answer a frequently asked question :)

so, what about our adoption?

we still want to adopt! we still feel that God wants us to adopt! we're still open and willing to adopt! we still don't really understand why, in the course of the last 15 months, we haven't been "selected" to adopt by the state of GA. we still don't fully understand what happened with the little boy this summer. we're glad we've been in the process of adopting.

amazing incredible things that have come as a result of our adoption process:

• 2 awesome sets of bunk beds that are useful in making super amazing mega cool forts
  
• an increased trust in the plans of God (and a greater understanding that God's "success" can come in many different forms!!!)
  
• greater understanding of God's heart for the orphan
• greater understanding of our status as an adopted child in God's family (real, full, permanent!)
• the experience of being surrounded by the body of Christ in real and tangible ways
• getting to share the things we've learned and experienced with others who are adopting (or thinking about adopting)(and getting to share the books we picked up along the way!)
  
• one particular friendship has grown and strengthened in ways that i've prayed about for years. something special has happened as we've walked along the adoption road together (thank you, God!!!)
• the Lord has spoken to me and to friends specifically about this adoption process - anytime anyone hears from God, something successful has happened!
  

One of the most significant things that God did for us was to confirm Mercy Ships through a vision that He gave a friend (and He confirmed the feelings I was having in regards to our adoption process). One day at Crave I shared with the precious ladies that I was really wondering what God was up to in our adoption process...that I was feeling a bit discouraged about it all...(i didn't share this next part -- but i had been wondering if our adoption was "to be put on hold" if we were to do Mercy Ships -- at the time we still weren't certain that the Lord was leading us to Mercy Ships). So, after we were done at Crave, a friend came up and said that God gave her a picture as we were praying (now you MUST keep in mind that she did NOT know about Mercy Ships - not even a little bit). She said:

During the prayer time, I saw a picture of you standing at one end of a bridge (that went over water) and I knew the bridge was representing your adoption. It seemed clear and easy to pass over it, so I asked God, "why can't she cross it now?" in reference to going forward with the adoption process. God then showed me that it wasn't an ordinary bridge. It was a drawbridge that separated in the middle. The drawbridge then began to separate and large ships began to pass by. That was why you couldn't cross the bridge. Ships needed to get through.

I WAS AMAZED...and so thankful that God took the time to speak to a sweet sister about our adoption (and so very thankful she was willing to share something that didn't make a lick of sense to her!!!).

Maybe one day our adoption process will result in a child (or children!) who's last name becomes cash...or maybe it won't...regardless, our adoption has been successful (and we will certainly welcome more success in that realm if that's what the Lord has in mind for us!!!). We have officially put our file with Bethany on "hold" - so that if the Lord brings us back and tells us to open the adoption process here back up (and if He tells us to do it with Bethany), we'll already have a lot of the foundation laid...we'll have updating to do but we won't be starting from scratch.

The Truth is that we care for orphans - very much. We want to see the lonely and the abandoned put into families - and we would LOVE it if a few of those children were put into our family. Maybe someday we'll be buying more than 5 plane tickets when we are traveling. When/if that happens is totally up to the Father who sees each of these children and knows the plans that He us for them (and for us). One thing we do know, as we go to serve with Mercy Ships we will have the opportunity to encounter orphans like never before...and we're excited to see what the Lord does in us, through us and all around us in the days, weeks, months and years to come (whether we're here or "there" or somewhere in between!).

ccc prayer week - friday night's thoughts

tonite's scriptures: Matthew 25:14-46

thoughts/impressions:
we don't have to be AFRAID of disappointing God. That line of thought should just not be a part of the process of deciding to follow Jesus

CCC is brimming with my sheep! You are feeding the hungry, giving drink to the thirsty, giving beds to the homeless, giving clothes (and heaters!) to the cold, visiting those in prison and those who are sick.

What are you saying to us?
"don't live cautiously - in living cautiously, you're trying to protect and preserve your life - that's My job!! throw caution to the wind as you DO what I've called you to do...not foolishly or carelessly....but with wisdom...and unrelenting TRUST that I am in control. Since I am in control, you do not have to be! Let go of the control...the sooner you admit that you can't do this, the better - cause that's when I can step in and make your life better than you ever expected. My freedom is UNLEASHED, UNCAGED, SET FREE in your surrender. It's not defeat to surrender - it's actually utter VICTORY. It's not weakness...it's strength. My Victory and My Strength - 2 things that I generously share with you."

very thankful.

• the paper folder (at the TA office) and i are back on good terms (things were quite rocky there for a while. it really let me down.)
  
• helping. i love it.
• the intern can sing - beautifully!! (intern...smurfette...amazing awesome girl...whatever you want to call her. becca wommack really is quite special and very incredible!)
  
• "great is Thy faithfulness" playing on ihop.org tuesday morning (that song is very significant to me!)
• quote from jesus calling "My nature is to bless. Your nature is to receive with thanksgiving."
• the pictures amy sent of the kids. she's such a good aunt (and an incredible sister!)
  
• the super fun and fabulous 25th anniversary TA stickers
• really good grilled cheese sandwiches
• big comfy sweatpants (especially on rainy days)
• prayer week.
  
• caroline singing the hallelujah chorus...and dancing.
• my new thursday schedule
• getting forms filled out and faxed in
• people voluntarily saying "i/we want to support you financially" - before we've even asked.
• good lunch with good friends
• God really does have better plans that we do (immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine!!!!)
  
• the phrase "a holy disappearance" (He must become greater, I must become less)
• aaaaaallllllllll that God has been doing in my heart and my head for so long to prepare me for Mercy Ships...and to prepare me to give my life to Him in a totally new way.
• texting. it's just so convenient
• late night shopping trip - was going to get bread....got so much more (including wondeful time with caroline).
• the amazing picture/quote book of caroline that ritchie white surprised us with. what a gift! (i suppose it should be "with which Ritchie White surprised us." not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition. we need more "with which's" in our lives)
  
• i'm thankful for emma and eli (even though nothing they've said or done made the thankful thursday list....ha.)
  
• my husband's dancing...(he made me put that)(submission, it's a beautiful thing)(i'm serious about that last part.)(and i do like his dancing....)
  

ccc prayer week - thursday night's thoughts

i love love LOVE love LOVE what the Lord was doing tonite....that was a beautiful time of sharing!!!!

tonite's scripture: Luke 14:15-33

here's what i wrote down: come on in, the foods on the table...it's ready - just waiting for someone to partake...available for anyone...those who miss out may not even realize that they're missing out - and they certainly don't realize what they are missing out on...but those who partake -- WOW! -- they know the deliciousness that the table holds - the unending feast...the feast is available - but God's not going to beg people to come...he'll keep looking, continue inviting...

2 questions came up that i feel are for all of us: 1)what excuse are you giving God? 2) what has He gotten ready for you & is now inviting you to come to?

Then i asked "what are you saying to us?"

His response: "come. eat of this feast i've prepared for you...and not only that - enjoy the fellowship and the fun of the party. this isn't a dull gathering of boring people and boring topics - it's a rip-roaring joyful celebration -- music & dancing, laughter...and, of course, delicious food. come to this party i've planned for you...i know you can come up with dozens of excuses not to attend - please don't do that! come...taste of my goodness...experience my delight in you. you'll be glad you came...you'll never be the same..."

(i've gotten the feeling over and over this week that the general consensus of people is that following Jesus/losing your life means no more fun and that it means a boring and dull existence -- but God's been saying just the opposite...He intends for it to be exciting!)

Then i asked "what are you saying to me?"

His response: "rest in knowing i've got you. i see that your preference is me - that's good! i'm going to take care of your house & cars & jobs...i've got it all figured out - your job is to delight in me daily. watch as i provide. i've got a plan...it's good and rich and exciting and FULL OF ME."

excited to see what tomorrow night holds.

trust. He's got this.

sorry if this is confusing- but this is what's in my heart and head....it's easy for me to trust God when strong possibilities are surrounding the very things that we long for God to take care...feels a little more difficult to trust when those possibilities may not come to fruition-- but then again, the possibility is not even officially not a possibility. i will not borrow worry from another day - i will not rehearse worry! i trust you, God.

whether Your provision comes easily way ahead of time or at the last possible second, i trust you, God (the sooner, the better seems like the best plan to me!! though easy isn't always best...)

we're trusting His provision for (please trust and pray with us):

• our house -- to sell...and if not to sell, to rent.
• our jobs -- that He will send JUST the right people and there will be plenty of time for adequate training. AND that we will be able to do all we need to do as we continue to work and prepare for moving this summer.
  
• our financial support -- as one lady so nicely put it "His will, His bill."
• our hearts. this is hard.
• the hearts of our family & friends. this is hard.
• the details that i haven't even thought of. He's thought of them...and He's got a plan...
  

Our God is trustworthy in every sense of the word (and even in ways that i cannot sense because my human mind cannot even begin to grasp it all!). I TRUST YOU, GOD...even when (especially when!) it's not easy.

You are all we want in heaven! You are all we want on earth! psalm 73:25 (the msg)

ccc prayer week - wednesday night's thoughts

scripture: Genesis 1:26, Genesis 2:18, 1 John 4:7-12, Deuteronomy 6:4-9

words for the youth (and really for all of us - but especially for the youth) -- "I am a God of Truth - listen to ME as I tell you who you are. The world's voice is loud - mine can be louder if you'll tune your ear to hear it. Your true identity is in ME - and is SECURE in me...nothing can separate you from My love - no dumb decision or fad...no rebellion or disobedience. I LOVE YOU - I am for you - I am the ONLY One who will not let you down."

deuteronomy 6:6 (ish)(i can never quite tell with the message)(talking about the commands of God) "...get them inside of you and then get them inside your children..."
james 3:13 (ish) "...it's the way you live, not the way you talk that counts..."

the word CONSUME was a part of my time with God tonite...felt like He was saying that He wants to CONSUME us - every part of us...our lives, our hearts, our minds....and as i thought about the word "consume" it very much ties into "dying to self" -- when things are consumed they no longer exist...

one other thing that i feel like God shared with me ties into something that was said earlier this week about encouraging one another..."a primary way of loving one another is encouraging one another - the words we say to one another and about one another are life bringing of death bringing - causing life and health and growth...or contributing to breakdown and darkness. James 3:10 (ish) "with our tongues we bless God. with the same tongues we curse men and women He made in His image...this can't go on!."

ccc prayer week - tuesday night's thoughts

tonite's verses: matthew 16:13-18 (same as last night!) and matthew 11:28-30

as we transitioned from worship to listening i simply wrote down something that keith prayed "...expecting to hear." i was praying about that and asking God to speak...and telling Him that we were waiting in expectation to receive the gifts that He has for us....immediately all of this started coming - i could hardly write fast enough...(got the impression it was for all of us...not just me!)

"...and I do have gifts for you...yours for the taking - just receive them! there's no need to "pay" me anything or feel that you owe me in any way for these gifts. what do I want from you in return? I simply want you to enjoy the gifts -- enjoy me! enjoy the time you get to spend with Me...it's not My desire that your time with Me be dull or boring...I intend just the opposite -- excitement at every turn - discover what "exciting with Me" is to you! ...I give Truth that cannot be explained by man - that's exciting! Security like nothing this world can offer - that's exciting! ...so many exciting gifts that may not seem so exciting...but My gifts are more than the best Christmas morning can hope to offer...better than the most extravagant of birthday celebrations. this is all certainly something that I must reveal to you - and I WANT to reveal it to you...but you've got to give Me your eyes - you've got to let Me transform your vision - to see things like I do (that's a gift! receive it!)....some of the gifts I have for you: freedom!!! knowing/identity (you knowing Me, Me fully knowing you), peace, joy, security...the gifts you need most -- but think are intangible and un-gettable...you can't often see them so you don't fully live in them. please don't forget to receive the gifts - the priceless treasure gifts!! gifts that are better than anything this world can offer."

after a friend mentioned that Jesus' action verb in Matthew 11 was "give" i thought God was going to ask me to share all of that with "the group"...and then 2 other ladies aluded to receiving as they shared....but i never felt like i "had" to share (and that's about the only way i'll voluntarily take the mic -- if i feel like God really wants me to share!! i like "anonymous"/the "safety" of sharing through this blog so much better than attention).

the other thing that I feel like God was highlighting was the fact that if we are to "come to Him" it's going to be an intentional move towards Him...a purposeful step OUT of/away from me/my life....a purposeful step towards Him. The "rest" isn't going to be able to settle on us if we continue at our frantic/frenzied pace...(got the picture of a butterfly...it doesn't "light" on fast moving people...only people/objects willing to be still!!)

He's got such good gifts...may we receive them...and even more importantly, receive Him!

ccc prayer week - monday night's thoughts

can i just first say that i LOOOOOOVE that we have prayer week at CCC. i LOVE that we set aside time to come together and listen - and i love that it's not just limited to prayer week - that we have crave multiple times each week. i love our church...i love the God who leads our church...and i'm thankful for the man God has chosen to lead our church!!!!

tonite's verses: matthew 16:13-28

there were 2 main thoughts that i wrote down tonite:

1 -- in response to the verses about God revealing things (not man revealing) and having in mind the things of God ad not the things of man, i felt like God was saying (a call to action of sorts - tangible, practical action):

"it's a mind thing -- it's about taking every opportunity to fix your eyes and mind on Me and My son. put up reminders, set alarms, intentionally set it up so that your mind is drawn to Me...on your hand, in your car, in your kitchen, in your bedroom - in every room for that matter! -- as simple as putting up a post-it, as elaborate as a painting...whatever it takes, fill your life with reminders of Me and My presence. it's hard to hear from someone you never talk to or think about...it's hard to follow someone you aren't looking for."

2 -- "a gentle shift in thinking" (that's the phrase He gave me...but, honestly, it doesn't really feel like "gentle" is the right word!! it would be a radical shift for some...a hard and rough shift for some...but now i'm interpretting and questioning instead of delivering...i'll get back to what He said instead of what i'm thinking!!!!) --- our lives are not ours to manage - they are HIS to give...His to order...just like it's HIS money - we are to listen as He lets us know how they (our lives & our money!) are to be spent...we are stewards of what He has given us - the time, the resources, the money...it's all HIS...not ours.

excited about the rest of the week.

i'm not a beat around the bush kind of person

so...i'm not a beat around the bush kind of person (nick said those very words on a little "outing" that was not a date back in the days before we were dating just before he asked me if i had a crush on him...it's a fun story...maybe i'll share the rest of it sometime).

i've known for a while that this day was coming...the day i needed to blog about the fact that we're moving to africa to work aboard the Mercy Ship named Africa Mercy . that's crazy to say. crazy to type. crazy to think about. but it's happening. i feel the need to apologize because i haven't "blogged" all that has happened in the past few months in regards to this decision....honestly, i just haven't known how to. it's been such a journey of faith and trust and listening and obedience...it was hard to know how to put it all out there....another difficult part was trying to figure out where to start. i'm successfully avoiding that by simply starting now....

before i go any further (farther?), i will remind you that i LOVE questions. please feel free to ask me anything about this (or any other topic that you'd like to talk about!) anytime. i'm happy to share more and hear your thoughts and walk through this together.

instead of recapping the story (sorry) (maybe i'll do that sometime!!) i'm simply going to share how i know that we are to go...settle in, grab some hot tamales and the drink of your choice....it's alot - THANK YOU, GOD!! He has made this clear...and that's what we (and so many of you!) have been asking Him to do all along. (you may see a post similar to this again someday when i share the link to another blog that will be specifically for our Mercy Ships adventure...that blog isn't ready yet...but will be sometime soon)

So, how do we know we’re to go?

In looking through my journal for the past 6 months there are sooooo many lines that I can now clearly identify as the Lord preparing us and calling us to Mercy Ships (some are very blatantly obvious – but I even questioned those for a while!!). These are some of the snippets of scripture and conversations with God that have helped me (and are continuing to help me) to know that we are indeed called to go serve aboard the Africa Mercy. Some are not "specific" (in that they could apply to most anyone in a variety of situations....) but I'm sharing them all so that you can have as much of a picture as I do about the way the Lord has been speaking...I love the themes (themes that I didn't even fully realize were there until I was going through my journal and typing all this up)...

8.17.2011

After reading Ezekiel 47:1-12 I jotted down: God is already moving – it’s HIS mission, HIS plan – not ours. He takes the initiative and invites us to move with Him.

Read Romans 6:11 and knew it was for us: “throw yourselves wholeheartedly and full-time into God’s way of doing things.” (of course all scripture is “for us” – but God let me know that this verse, and the others mentioned here, were specifically in reference to my life – sort of “Take notice! Pay attention” calls from God in light of the things going on. make sense?)

8.18.2011

Read in a book and wrote down: The main problem with an easy life is that it masks your need for me.

Read Isaiah 55:3 (ish) “listen carefully to my life-giving, life- nourishing words”

my response: “yes, please…I’d like some life-giving, life-nourishing words!!!

God’s response back to me: I am with you, dianna. I am for you. I care about you. I do know your coming out and your coming in…enjoy the moments, dianna. Enjoy the day to day. Find joy knowing that I am with you. I’ve made a sure, solid, enduring covenant commitment of love with you….i have sent you to preach goods new to the poor…proclaim freedom for the prisoners & recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor…I have anointed you to do these things.”

8.21.2011

During worship at CCC jotted down: You can move the mountains on whatever path we’re on (or give us the strength and grace to climb them)

8.25.2011

Felt like He said “I am training you to be aware of me at all times.”

8.31.2011

Words from God for me: “Keep resting. Keep trusting. I’ll let you know what’s next. I’ve got this.”

9.21.2011

More words from Him: “Come to me, look at Me, see what I’m doing.”

9.22.2011

A prayer: My heart is yours completely….I am fully yours. Have your way in me and in my family – we are Yours.

10.16.2011

Words to a song during worship at CCC that I couldn’t sing because I was weeping: “My life is not my own. To You I belong. I give myself – I give myself to You.”

10.17.2011

I was telling God that I was a bit overwhelmed by the possibilities….

His response: “rest in me, dianna. Rest in knowing that I am with you…and I am in your future. I’m going to take care of it….there is much to do – but there’s time and energy and resources to do it. do what I’ve put in front of you.”

10.17.2011 (later that day…after I printed off the Mercy Ships application)

Talking to God and shared: I’m definitely having a major wave of doubt in regard to this Mercy Ships idea…God, this has got to be of You in order for it to happen. We can’t do this without you…not only that, we don’t want to do this without you. We only want to do this if this is what you have for us to do. Please calm my mind, my heart, my stomach, my soul. There’s nothing I want more than to be RIGHT where you want us. I don’t want to be afraid…

10.18.2011

Read Exodus 33 (the message) “if your presence doesn’t take the lead here, call this trip off right now.”

10.19.2011

Read Exodus 33:14 “My presence will go with you. I’ll see the journey to the end.”

More from Him: “I’ve got you. I’ve got this next season. I’ve got your days and your moments – your months and your years. …I’ve got blessings in store. Keep seeking Me. Abide. Dwell. I’ll satisfy…I’ll provide…I’ll sustain…”

10.28.2011

During a time of prayer when I wasn’t even thinking about Mercy Ships I felt like I heard Him say “You are to do Mercy Ships and you are to trust me in the process.”

I asked: WHEN!?!

No response.

10.30.2011

After singing “on Christ the Solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.” I wrote: Only on you – on Christ the solid rock – I stand – ALL other ground is sinking sand…TAs is sinking sand…friendships are sinking sand…Mercy Ships is sinking sand…everything other than YOU is sinking sand – nothing else is meant to be stood on. I’ll only stand on You.

11.2.2011

Journal thoughts after reading Isaiah 30:22: I don’t know how “expensive and fashionable” our “stuff” is – but I want to be willing to throw it all away (Give? Sell? Get rid of…release…no longer have!) saying “good riddance.”

11.8.2011

Wrote down: You are the answer. Whatever the question – whatever the situation – whatever we need – You are the answer.

These words were so meaningful as we sang them: God, I look to You. I won’t be overwhelmed. Give me vision to see things like You do. I look to You – You’re where my help comes from…you let me know just what to do.”

11.15.2011

Heard in a sermon: He finishes what he starts. I wrote: We started the adoption process. We started the Mercy Ships process. How do those things come to a place of being “finished”? And how do they work together?(Through the next few days and weeks I feel like God brought me to a deeper understanding that His “finished” might not look anything like what our “finished” may look like.)

11.30.2011

Journal/prayer thoughts: I’m just so unsure about Mercy Ships. I’m willing – I think…it just doesn’t seem practical or possible. His response (very lovingly and full of kindness): “those are 2 words that aren’t in my vocabulary.”

12.1.2011

Journal thought: seems like I keep hearing “go”…why do my heart and mind and feelings seem to be in such disagreement? His response: “Focus on Me – not on decisions or the future or concerns. Focus on Me.”

12.3.2011

As I was thinking and praying about Mercy Ships and sharing with God that I wasn’t sure we could do this…and not sure if I even wanted to, I felt like I heard Him say (again, very lovingly and full of kindness): “I’m not going to make you go…but I really want you to!” (I got the impression that He was saying that as a Father who is just waiting to give His children some really good gifts!)

12.8.2011

After reading Proverbs 3, I wrote: “God, I trust you from the bottom of my heart…I won’t try to figure things out on my own. I’m listening for your voice in everything I do – everywhere I go. You’re the one who will keep me on track.”

12.13.2011

Hebrews 13:18 “pray for us. We have no doubts about what we’re doing or why, but it’s hard going and we need your prayers. All we care about is living well before God. Pray that we may be together soon.” (I know when Paul said “hard going” he was talking about it being tough work – but for me it’s “hard to go!”)

12.21.2011

At crave I wrote: God, I don’t want to waste this time. Is there anything you’d like to say to me?

His response: “I want you to do Mercy Ships.”

My response: “alright.”

His response: “it’s going to be another one of those hard but good things…keep trusting me. Keep spending time with me. I’ll make it all known at just the right time. Rest in me. Rest in knowing that I am with you and for you…never leaving you even for a moment.”

1.1.2012

I wrote: I trust you God…whatever the plans…wherever you lead…

1.4.2012

Psalm 62:7-8 “I trust you, Jesus. My help and glory are in You. You are granite strength and safe harbor. I trust you absolutely. I’ll lay my life on the line for you. You are a safe place to be.”

After reading that I wrote: I’ll lay my life down – our house, our stuff, our routines, our friendships, everything we know – I’ll lay it down and trust You.

1.7.2012

I was sitting outside looking at the clouds that were quickly moving across the sky, making fun shapes as they went by. I asked God to speak to me through the clouds….He didn’t. ;)

1.8.2012

After singing the words “I want to see you” I asked God to give me a glimpse of Him….the vision He gave me was of Him holding a big white ship….

This year’s theme of “Follow Me” was introduced at Christ Community Church…the words of the song written to go with the theme matched up EXACTLY to phrases I had just written (i wrote: "i'm a bit terrified" - the song said "you don't have to be afraid." i wrote: "i trust you" - the song said: "put all your trust in me." the writing/singing were going on simultaneously....)

In praying through the theme of "Follow Me" I felt like He said “Follow me to Mercy Ships. I’m already there waiting for you….and I’ll go with you every step of the way. I’ll also stay here and take care of everything and everybody.”

1.10.2012

I asked God why He wouldn’t want us to go….I didn’t get a response.

Add to all of these things the heart for missions that the Lord has been cultivating in us for decades… add to that books we’ve been reading (especially Crazy Love, Radical & Kisses from Katie)….don’t forget to include the sermons & podcasts we’ve been listening to (and the Catalyst Conference!)….be sure to add the countless lines from Jesus Calling that God has used…and then include the dozens of songs that are continuously playing in my head and heart and home…. and you end up with a recipe that results in an undeniable call for us to GO serve with Mercy Ships. Thank you, God, for making this clear.

Surely there will be more to come.

thankful!!

• being home!
• knowing that home is more about the 5 of us being together than it is a physical location
• eli saying "you better just get used to losing" (in the kindest of ways) as we began to play chess
• i played chess!
• caroline & eli's reaction to my tears (my children ministered to me....i was amazed...and blessed)
• emma sitting in her little rocking chair rocking her doll
• pretty pink fingernails painted by caroline
• another great coffee date with a beautiful lady who loves her Lord.
• the phrase "not rehearsing worry"
• my quilt (still very thankful that my mom was willing to make me a quilt instead of an afghan...her afghans are lovely....but i really like my quilt!)
• that it "cleaned up quicker than i thought" - that's always nice
• the lesley family of THREE!!!!!!!
• knowing that sometime i WILL blog more than "just" thankful thursday lists. sometime.
  

sooooo thankful it's thursday!!!

• the way eli says "electrical blanket"
• my boat sillyband
• finally getting eli's lego contraptions set in the mail
• making a machine out of legos (a car that goes!!)
• good smelling hand sanitizer
• the fact that sandwiches made by someone else always taste better
• quick moving clouds
• the UGA "G" that went on caroline's face so easily
• watching my kids enjoy the UGA v AU ladies basketball game
• good & safe travels to texas
• sleeping all the way through alabama (no offense to alabama...it was just good sleep!!)
  
• 2 mercy ships mugs full o' candy
• not having caffeine/soda all week and being perfectly ok with that
• fresh fruit
  
• fabulous snack breaks!
  
• my TA year end donation total and amanda's donation total pretty much match (and i do believe i know the key to making them match perfectly)!!!
• the transition of my kids from aunt amy to mary (with some molly time in the middle) went well from what i can tell from 550+ miles away
• christian fiction books (read 1/2 of one last night...excited to read the rest tonite!)
• the time to read so much of a book in one sitting without staying up 1/2 the nite!
• knowing that so many people are praying for us (all the texts and emails have been wonderful!!!! thank you!!)
• knowing that God has a plan...and answers...and provision....
  
• a salad bar at lunch and dinner every day - cucumbers, tomatoes, crutons, olives, italian dressing...so good!
  
• missing my kids (i'm not thankful that i miss them...i'm thankful that i don't not miss them...the amount/intensity that i've missed them has been quite surprising)
• we get to come home tomorrow (i'm thankful it's thursday) - most likely i'll get to see our kids before friday turns into saturday (granted, they will be sleeping...but we'll be in the same time zone and zip code and house)!

sometimes thursday slips up on me

• that life is lived within our house (i'm trying to be thankful even when things don't stay straight)
• 70% off christmas stuff at target (fun time to buy next year's christmas crafts!)
  
• "ALL I NEED IS YOU"
• the way emma says "yes, m'am" (well, honestly, the way emma says just about anything - except "mine" and "NO")
• exercising with caroline the other night
• chili.
  
• bacon.
  
• laughing with our community group
• cleaning up/organizing the closet in the laundry room
• getting things done that i've wanted to get done for a while (ie, previously mentioned item!)
• getting "paid" for something i LOVE to do and the "payment" being cherry coke!
• the "space" that's created (re-established) by putting Christmas decorations away
• a sweet little boy in texas named gabe.
  
• my friend carey. i love her.
  
• "my help and glory are in God - granite strength and safe-harbor God - so trust Him absolutely, people; lay your lives on the line for Him. God is a safe place to be." psalm 62:7-8 (the msg)
• "trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track." proverbs 3:5-6 (the msg)
  
• that i always count the number of "items" on my thankful lists...and i have to be happy with the number before posting them (11, 13, 14, 16, 19 = not usually good numbers....12, 15, 17, 18 (maybe!), 20+ = acceptable numbers)
• the garage at the TA house. what a work of art! the staff did a tremendous number on that thing yesterday.
• the hall's christmas letter. i didn't know tim was so funny!
  
• worshipping on the treadmill at the Y last night (and nick's willingness to let me go just when i couldn't handle emma's fussing anymore! that girl isn't a big fan of baths right now)
  
• "my abundance and your emptiness are a perfect match" - jesus calling 12/31/2011

inside cover of my thankful book (i put a picture on my blog!!!!!)

for some reason i was thinking that some of you might be interested in seeing the inside cover of my "thankful book"...not sure why that thought crossed my mind...but i'm learning not to question things so much...

this journal was given to me by a precious TA girl named Tahna...she gave a simple $1 store journal to each member of our growth group and encouraged us to start a list of things that make us happy. thus, in 2004, the list began... it's not so much things that make me happy (though some of the items certainly do!)...it's more a list of gifts from God...things i'm thankful for...ways i can see God's hand at work in my life and in the lives of others (most of my thankful thursday lists originate in this book)

the inside cover is a collage of randomness that somehow relates to being thankful (or at least it does to me!). from dove chocolate wrappers to torn out magazine pages to a mary kay quote that came on a sample of makeup...it's still a work in progress.

in case you can't read all the words, here are the quotes:

• small pleasures, simple joys, everyday miracles
• the most enjoyable experiences are often free
• let in the joy
• savor every happy moment
• what if "the season to be jolly" lasted all year long?
• little acts of kindness can add up to a lifetime of happiness
• let worship be more than a song
• always being able to look forward to something special is one of life's greatest pleasures
• enjoy the small things in life
• God's grace is unfair
• Let thanksgiving fill every corner of your soul
• Gratitude lists - or prayers of gratitude - are powerful and meaningful prayers when written. prayer shouldn't just be an inventory of what we lack, but rather, a series of reminders of what we have, and what we might so easily take for granted, and forget to be grateful for...

these verses are on the back cover of my book:

isaiah 30:8 "...go now and write it all down. put it in a book so that the record will be there."
isaiah 63:7 "...i'll make a list of all of God's gracious dealings, all the things that God has done that need praising..."

i'm looking forward to the day when my book is filled....it'll take a while - maybe even a lifetime (writing one item per line on both sides of the page means you can fits LOTS of thankfulness in a little bit of space!!! and trying not to repeat things is a challenge!)...and who knows what will become of the book - maybe it'll turn to dust without anyone noticing...or maybe it'll sell for thousands on ebay...or maybe it'll become one of my children's treasures...matters not to me.... for now it's part of my daily worship...it's a tangible way to cultivate thankfulness in my life...i'm thankful to have it...and thankful to get to share the inside cover with you.

one of my prayers for 2012...and life.

One Pure and Holy Passion (chris tomlin)

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
To grow as Your disciple in Your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing You, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after You

should you care to listen to it:
http://youtu.be/I17edLkBDCo

a little more soulful rendition for anyone who may be interested (i sure liked it):
http://youtu.be/7oW8cNDaioc

God, i want to know you more in 2012...i want to walk more closely to You - to walk in the freedom You have for me...to hear You more clearly...to obey You quickly...to love You - and anyone You put in my path - completely....i want to be more thankful...more generous...more kind...more patient....i want to serve well and live well - to live as You intend for me to live. i'm all in, God. please have Your way in me...less of me, more of You. none of me, all of You.