unexpected blog post drafts, living loved, and getting it from our heads to our hearts

i found a few blog post drafts that i had forgotten all about....finding drafts of blog posts is like finding $5 in your coat pocket when you put it on after it's been hanging in your closet for 3 seasons.  or like finding a mini-snickers in your purse that you thought you'd cleaned out (that happened today).  or realizing that you have more on a giftcard than you thought you did!  pure gift.  thought i'd share some of what i found...

this link is to an article all about head knowledge and heart knowledge and truly experiencing the Love God has for us.  the article meant alot to me when a friend shared it - and it meant alot to me when i re-read it earlier today.

this link is to an interview with brennan manning (he'd make my list of all time favorite humans if i was to make such a list) about living as God's beloved.

And THIS (the following 6 paragraphs) are some thoughts I shared with my friend who shared the first article with me...i'm not sure when i wrote this (sometime in the last 2-3 years while we were on the Africa Mercy - during one of our summers in Durban) but it's all still very much true. 

...that article resonates with me in so many different ways.  

i was waiting for a “quiet moment” to read the article- when i could give it my full attention and heart - because i had a feeling it was going to be special.  so i came in from my run this morning - (a super early run right on the beach here in durban..we carpool over there, run and get back in time for people to get ready for work) to a quiet cabin (it feels like a miracle when children are sleeping and it’s past 7:00am!).  so i showered and fixed a cup of coffee and sat with the Lord and this article.  

what kay wrote is so much of what i’ve felt/have been feeling.  i love it when God gives someone else words to help express what’s been in my head and heart - and, of course, it’s comforting to know that i’m not the only one thinking/feeling this way!!

that “how does it get from your head to your heart?” is such a recurring question.  i love how she used the phrase “the gift of a nervous breakdown.”  there have been moments when i’ve wondered if i’ve been close to something of that nature…i’m definitely feeling more broken than i can ever remember feeling…but i also feel more sure of His love and acceptance of me than i can ever remember feeling. 

i love that Love is here.  in the mess. in the real. in the good. in the bad. in the everything that is dianna...Love is here.  i still don't know how to fully live in it…but i’ll keep trusting. 

"Love believes in me…and it never lets me go.”  that’s beautiful!

maybe something in one of the links - or in my rambling words - made you think or caused you to ask questions or provided some peace or reassurance.  feel free to share any findings/questions/encouragement with me... diannacash@yahoo.com 

may we all experience the love of God today - in all of its mysterious, unfathomable fullness. 

christmas gifts.

• finding some pretty decent blog drafts (we'll see what comes of it)
• white cash christmas party
• african fabric + flip flips + strong christmas lyrics

• family + christmas
• PJ christmas day
• pallet star in georgia

• kiwi christmas video and glowsticks
• trying new recipes (twiced baked potatoes, sweet potato casserole - or souffle if you're fancy - and CARAMEL SLICE!)
• papa took emma (with a panda bear hat on) fishing

• christmas eve communion (especially that one line of the confession part: "our parents, children and friends receive our anger too often and our love too rarely."  followed by: "...we earnestly repent, and are sorry for this which deeply grieves You."  followed by: "You are forgiven.")
• gifts from nick and the kids - useful, awesome, lovely, practical, thoughtful, special gifts
• oranges + cloves (and memories)

• operation "get the van back/see andrea one more time" was a success
• the reminder that being a mother of 3 is my privileged stewardship (l. giglio sermon)
• standing in prayer with friends in benin for a court date so that their daughter can legally become their daughter (and the bracelet reminder)

• finding MaMa and Caroline playing bop-it
• "if it's true you use broken things, here I am: use me...I'm all yours." - song lyrics in the van ride home from atlanta
• michelle murrey's super awesome kind thoughtfulness - and how God consistently does immeasurably more...even when it comes to whirly pops!  

gifts galore.

• my very own appreciation breakfast (husbands, if you ever need ideas, i know a guy that could give you some ideas...goodness, i am one blessed wife.)
• dinner at the newmans
• nick's hard work and resourcefulness

• "out of sheer generosity He put us in right standing with Himself, a pure gift.  He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where He always wanted us to be. And He did it by means of Jesus Christ." Romans 3:23-24 (msg) = CHRISTMAS
• poppyseed chicken with stacia
• brownies and lotsa toppings for a great group of middle schoolers

• "out of sheer generosity He put us in right standing with Himself, a pure gift, He got us out of the mss we're in and restored us to where He always wanted us to be. And He did it by means of Jesus Christ." Romans 3:23-24 (msg) = CHRISTMAS
• poppyseed chicken with stacia
• fun and fabulous christmas lights (and getting to ride around with my family to look at them)

• trader joe's treats
• the way stacia interacts with my kids
• our counters are in!
  
  
• "do not fear your weakness, for it is the stage on which my power and glory perform most brilliantly." - jesus calling
• impromptu lunch at CFA with 2 incredible friends. 
• breakfast for dinner with poppa and the quintards (and traci's yummy delicious breakfast casserole)

always something.

• soup and sandwiches at yaya's
• warm air/heat
• ELF family movie night
• celebrating emma

• my brother taking care of my sister
• snuggly kittens
• laffy taffy, mechanical pencils and hot chocolate as expressions of God's love
• beautiful skies captured by eli from the car window

• impromptu glo-stick dance party in the middle of a semi-not great wednesday
• God is bigger than expensive bills and checking accounts and money 
• just the right song for the moment
• good reminder

His season of giving never stops.

• time at h-o-m-e with nick (with a great GA game to enjoy)
• OK Sun
• plate from bulgaria, cup from benin, cinnamon roll coffee and cinnamon rolls

• S'mores for days at CCC
• kids joyfully and confidently singing it out 
• emma made it through the play!

• meeting 2 ladies from Ghana
• azafady conversation on facebook
• kittens!!!  another example of God's kind and generous provision...
  
• the way the kittens are enjoying the "nest" eli set up for them
• cleaning out with the BF
• christmas lights! (and nick's time and effort to get them put up)

• getting to see and support friends in "papa's angels"
• pop pop's generosity to get all of the kids popcorn
• continuing ship traditions - sinter klaas

• moment of sunshine in the midst of dreariness (the way the sun came through the trees)
• strong christmas lyrics
• clement arts - knowing the emma gained so much more than dance lessons during her tuesday afternoons from 4-5 with Rebecca
  
• eli's enjoyment of velocity
• cracker barrel meal 
• fleece lined running leggings (made that early morning run quite enjoyable!)

He's so generous!!

• family pictures at the cabin (thanks, wendy!)
• delicious salted caramel mocha
• solid, significant, special time with such an incredible woman who (whom?!) i have the privilege of calling my sister.

• farm to table/purposeful choices restaurants
• velocity classroom sessions (he enjoyed them more than he thought he would!)
• pretty lights in a neat place.

• seeing alison's face and hearing her lovely south african accent
• the fun and fabulous "hype" bracelets she sent
• eli's care and intentionality in putting the nativity scene out

• emma's dentist appointment went well
• when God puts us on the hearts and minds (and prayers) of others
• getting to tell ornament prompted stories as we decorated the christmas tree

• burgers with the wells
• blue nails with AB baby
• being in the TA environment (and waffles)

thankfulness. where it's at.

• "this i know with all my heart, His wounds have paid my ransom."
• having a van for sharing
• the holden's visit

• 2 borrowed eggs that made brownies possible
• the peace and ease of thanksgiving with my family
• a super clean stovetop/oven thanks to lillian and ciaran

• iron bank coffee + walk by the river
• "the power of confession - we think it's going to crush us but it frees us." - billy gross
• beautifully thoughtful and delightfully cozy blanket from the precious michelle claudia pullen

• lauren & benji's visit
• "the only desire of our heart is that God would show up." - keith cowart"
• order & creativity (roy g biv bouncy balls)

• time with THE dr dre
• when the freedom is "make yourself at home" is so real
• truth

so.much.

• "if you are focused on what you don't have, you'll never use what you do have and you'll never recognize what you could have."  - carl lentz/relevant podcast
• finding things we need -and that are really truly useful- at the dollar store
• fun, delightful, cart-filling productive trip to sam's with emma (not to mention paper towels for dayz.)(and a big pretzel)

• shea's visit!
• lots of good walks with previously mentioned lovely lady
• reading and studying hymns

• time with nicole
• the way eli enjoys and connects with molly...so thankful for an amazing adult who loves my children.
• raven's mad skillz and her ability to beautifully illustrate sermons (i'm especially fond of this particular pastor!)

• hearing about a friend's year of "wow" and miraculous marriage breakthroughs 
• worship playlists on youtube
• waffles in cabinets with the best of friends

• sweet little solo time at CFA
• when a friend feels safe enough to overshare (is there such a thing?!)
• delightful goodies and thoughtfulness in a box from ann-marie

• "come and consume, God, all we are, we give you permission...our hearts are yours."  -william mcdowell
• going through my camera roll and realizing there are even more thankful moments than i realized.
• beautiful day. time outside. reading on a rock. tree-climbing girl.

• an ornament dealer :) 
• patiently waiting for a coupon paid off
• chocolate drizzle popcorn (and brownies...and everything.  the possibilities are endless.  watch out world.)

• running leggings that were gifted to me...we'll see how it goes. 
• messenger conversation with ashley.  
• traditions/ceremony/honor

exulting in the monotony (and the amazing!)

• a challenge in thankfulness: "am i strong enough to exult in the monotony?" - GK Chesteron
• having an icemaker again
• easy returns
• time in the backyard with my beautiful friend molly

• being on the same wave length as my sister
• dancing with emma to "happy dance"
• "be a co-creator of the world you wish could exist." - liz bohannon 
• cinnamon roll cake + panda plate + coffee + quiet morning

• "we are enabled by Jesus to choose God." - nick cash
• elephant shower curtain
• having david forrest's book for the cottage
•  ryan's visit! how he brings life out of our children

• bacon (and i'm confident in how to make it now!)
• fantastic steak lunch.
• grandaddy's brownies and papa's rice krispy treats
• the table my dad made is just how i hoped it would be!  

• sorting, organizing, setting up, settling in 
• days that feel normal
• doughnuts and giftcards and journals and the plethora of presents!
• especialy kind and thoughtful birthday words/gestures/gifts from my children and husband

pondering the loving deeds of the Lord

• we got to move across the driveway!!
• .50 corndogs from sonic - and the fabulous friend who brought a whole sack full of them (2 sack fulls, actually)
• bogo 1/2 off curtains
• marco polo with shea
• halloween gathering at yaya's - family + candy + cake pops + costumes = winning combination
  
• walking into caroline's room and seeing two sisters enjoying each other 
• time with cool girl
• a friend who is a-ok with me taking a nap on her couch
• unexpected lunch date with nick
• 2 bedside tables from VRM
• animal head shenanigans at wal-mart

• double date (ish) night at CFA
• the fun toilet scrubber things (who knew scrubbing a toilet could be so enjoyable?!)
• crave at ccc
• plantains and cards from the ship delivered via molly baker
• "thank God for His marvelous love, for his miracle mercy to the children He loves." - from psalm 107
  

pictures may come another day...

another week full of gifts

• nick's consistent accountability to ROCON
• the end may really really really be in sight
• sweet conversation with the "other" diana
• shaved ice treat
• the enjoyment of washing dishes in someone else's sink
• CFA chicken biscuit and sacred conversation
• shakespeare simply put
• fantastic slimy time with the walls

• chalkboard globe from raven
• "reset" buttons
• "...we want to live in such a way that the power on the inside is not dependent on the power from the outside." -tony evans
• hearing about the lives saved through Sound Choices Pregnancy Clinic
• finding what we were looking for - and a few extras - at Heal the World thrift store
• free chicken sandwich meal at Zaxby's (and an incredible date to share it with!)
• middleschoolers
• treat yo'self/polar pops with nick

• 7:22 prompt to pray for the wells
• french pressed coffee + english muffin + apple butter
• "the goal is to be true to Him" - oswald chambers
• the enjoyment of washing dishes in someone else's sink
• CFA chicken biscuit and sacred conversation
• puns and wit
• shakespeare simply put
• caroline's enjoyment of mangoes