you may be asking, "what in the world is she doing eating super pretzels and making a blog entry if she's at the TA office on a Thursday morning? that girl is supposed to be working." excellent point. i'm giving myself a bit of a sabbatical...just for a few minutes (ie - i'm not on the clock right now!!). i came in earlier than usual this morning so that i could take advantage of the quietness and the reliable internet! i've had something on my mind that i've wanted to write about this week....
but right now this pretzel eating is getting in the way. i'm taking a bite and then wiping my hands and typing a bit...then taking another bite and wiping my hands....etc. by the way, i'm alternating between cinnamon bites and regular bites dipped in mustard.
i've been thinking about God's faithfulness. His faithfulness in my doubt....His faithfulness in hard times...His faithfulness to bless us...His faithfulness to love us. His incredible, reliable, unchanging, consistent, strong, amazing, GREAT faithfulness.
i have too many journals. i'm not sure i can even make a list of all the journals i have...but i'm going to try. but this is NOT so you can say "wow, she's so awesome with all her journals." it's more so you can say "why in the WORLD does she have so many journals?!" (it's on the verge of being out of control) the mantra "a place for everything and everything in it's place" is one that i rely on heavily (i don't say it much - but my life relies on it!) -- this includes notes, quotes, pieces of paper, ideas, cut outs, etc. thus, i have journals.
- my "normal" journal - this is the one i use day to day to take notes, write down quotes, etc.
- list of things i'm thankful for journal - i try to write things i'm thankful for in a bulleted list for (things range from having a baby to cherry coke...and lots in between). i think i'm up to 437 items. this gets added to pretty sporadically...usually when i think "oh, i havn't added anything to my thankful list lately...."
- parenting/homeschooling journal - this is where i write down all the notes and quotes that are related to (you guessed it!) parenting and homeschooling.
- random collage/straight from God journal - this one is a little tricky to explain and maybe you just need to see it to understand it (i'm happy to show it to you if you want to see it!)...it's the journal where i write down the "big lessons" that God is teaching me (this is another blog entry in and of itself!)...but, in a nutshell, when God brings the pieces together for me on something that i know He's been working on, it gets written in this particular book. this book also has lots of things stuck in it -- little things that have been cut from magazines; things that were on my wall in college, little special stuff that needed a place so that it wouldn't clutter up the rest of my life....it's kind of like there are 2 pages of collage and 2 pages of writing, then 2 more pages of collage and 2 more pages of writing, etc.
- list of books that i've read (this one's pretty self explanatory...and i learned it from my mom). i just like looking at the names of the books i've read!
- little notebook of lists - i like lists....so i keep a notebook with lists. some of the lists: possible band names (not for my band...i don't know that i'll ever have a band! just band names that i think would be successful!!!), potential book titles (again, not for my book...just for books in general), places i want to visit, etc.
i'm going to stop there - i won't include the binders i have that are sort of like journals or the electronic journals i keep via word documents....
the point of that list: in every journal i can see God's faithfulness to me....they are tangible reminders of His faithfulness to me (even the list of books that i've read remind me of God's faithfulness to give me time to enjoy reading...and His ability to bring just the right book at just the right time...).
the 2 that are my primary reminders of His faithfulness are my "normal journal" and the "random collage/straight from God" journal. the "normal journal" is what caused all of these thoughts about God's faithfulness in the first place....sunday i was flipping through my journal (honest confession: i do that if i'm trying to stay awake in church...)(it was a long night w/o a lot of sleep saturday!!!!) and i was AMAZED at all the prayer requests that i had written down that have TOTALLY been taken care of. these are requests of my own...or from our community group...or from Crave...or from the TA staff...or random other people. as i was reading through them i decided to put a "check mark" through the requests that no longer need to be prayed for - because they are over and done with and completely taken care of. SOOOO many of them now have a big check mark right through them.
God has brought people succcessfully through surgeries....He has healed....He has provided financially....He has given jobs....He has strengthened the weary....He has restored relationships.....He has walked some lovely people through hard times of grief and sorrow.....He has made events successful....He has given safe travel....He has provide opportunities for His love and gospel to be shared....He has brought folks through difficult family visits....HE has done all these things (and these are just the ones that i am aware of....). some of the check marks came quickly...others took years....and some things are still waiting on the check marks that God is going to provide.
when i look through my journal and see His great faithfulness i am strengthened and encouraged and reassured. He has been faithful - He will continue to be faithful! He has taken care of our deepest concerns and hardest struggles - He will continue to do so!
all we have needed, He has provided. great is Your faithfulness, Lord unto me!
that's what's been on my heart and mind this week - didn't realize it had so many words to it (i'm impressed that you made it all the way through!). now it's time to turn up the prayer room at ihop.org and get to work on the stack of stuff sitting here. thanks for sharing this little sabbatical with me...
