blitz blogging, deuteronomy 33

don't ya'll love how i blitz blog? it's like there's nothing...nothing...nothing for a few days/a week/10 days....then BAM.BAM.BAM. three (or 4!) in a row. not sure what's up with that. maybe some days my mind and heart (and schedule!) are more open and available than others.

i read some neat verses in deuteronomy today and yesterday -- wanted to share them (and i am happy to report that i have finally made it through deuteronomy!!! joshua, here i come!) these verses are all from the next to the last chapter where moses is blessing the tribes of israel -- these are the blessings that i especially "like" or that i want for me/my family! (blue is from the message version)

about levi he said...
bless all his skills, o lord, and be pleased with the work of his hands
God bless his commitment, stamp your seal of approval on what he does

about bejamin he said (this one is my favorite!)...
let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rest between His shoulders.
God's beloved; God's permanent residence. Encircled by God all day long, within whom God is at home.

about naphtali he said...
naphtali is abounding with the favor of the Lord and is full of His blessing
Naphtali brims with blessings, spills over with God's blessings

incredible verses 33: 26-27 (these are "crave favs"): there is no one like the God of Jeshurn, who rides on the heavens tohelp you and on the clouds in his majesty. the Eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will drive our your enemy before you, saying "destroy him!"

new song in my top 10 favorites...

"the blessing" by Laura Story

http://youtu.be/1CSVqHcdhXQ

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

so thankful that He is sovereign. nothing is wasted. He is in control and He is at work....and His love is great and faithful - even in the hardest of moments. may we know and rely on the Love that He has for us.

precious life.

of all the reports from the tornados and the other terrible headlines, this is the headline that made me cry. not sure why my heart hurts more for this one 8 year old than for the 290+ others that lost their lives last night. my heart hurts for the those who died in the storm...but it especially hurts for this boy.

Columbus boy drowns in Oakland Park watershed - WTVM.com - News Leader 9, Columbus, GA

95% excited, God help my 5%

i'm a little envious. a sweet precious wonderful amazing girl told me that she and her husband are most likely getting a one year old little boy tomorrow - to foster for now, probably to adopt. they will be FABULOUS parents for this little boy - they are incredible people all the way around. i'm just a little envious that it's them and not me.

i wonder if this is anything like how couples feel when they are trying and trying and trying to get pregnant and it's not happening...but then they find out that a close friend is pregnant (and in this case it's like they got pregnant without even trying! they didn't go through an agency or have a homestudy or take classes...it's a connection through their church). i'm celebrating this - i really am! i'm celebrating God's goodness and faithfuless...and am in awe of adoption - this family is going to bring a son into their lives and raise him as their own! but, in an attempt to keep all things real, i'm just a little envious. 95% excited for them, 5% envious.

thank you God for your perfect timing....thank for this family who is welcoming Your little one into their home and hearts and lives tomorrow. please bless them...bless their son and daughter with Your peace and acceptance for this new baby. knit them together as a family of 5. remind them of your love and faithfulness....strengthen them when they are weary...may this little boy fit right in and always know that he is wanted and loved. strengthen their marriage...bless them with peace and laughter. may all the details come together - a car seat, a crib, clothes, diapers, all the other accessories! may Your goodness be on display for this family - and for all who see this family!

in other news - there are 19 children in chatham county (savannah) who's parental rights are going to be terminated in the next week or so....maybe one or 2 of those will become cash kids. here's hoping.

a glimpse into my journal....if you really want one.

these really are just thoughts/words right out of my journal from prayer week at Christ Community last week…some thoughts came during worship (those are primarily in the first part of each section)…some from the scripture that was read…some are things i jotted down as others were sharing at the end of each evening… stuff in quotes is Scripture...stuff in italics are things i felt like the Lord was telling me...

Monday Night: Scripture Focus John 13:1-17
i’ll wait on you, God….no matter how long the wait – i’ll wait on You in this adoption process. You are enough for me – enough for Christ Community – enough for this adoption.

in Your presence is where i belong – it’s where i know who i am…seeking you, listening to you, hearing from you, worshipping you….i love being in this place!!!

the wonders of your mighty love…You “showed us the full extent of your love as you washed the disciples feet...”

washing feet – meets a practical need; is so very intimate; deals with a part of us that we’d rather keep to ourselves; washing feet and having your feet washed – both positions of humility.

we must let our feet be washed – we must let God touch the parts of us that we’d rather keep to ourselves – we must receive the washing that He is kneeling to give, that He is fully prepared to give. Once our feet are washed, we are to wash the feet of others. Serve – the greatest among you is the servant – thinking of the needs of others – doing nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.

John 13:3 – "Jesus knew the Father had put all things under His power….He knew that He had come from God and was returning to God." Jesus knew His position – He knew who He was – in that knowing He was able to serve. REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE. My beloved, my beautiful daughter, created to honor me – not to compare or compete. Created to be one who is sure of who I’ve made you to be. Be who I’ve made you to be – unapologetically…

John 13:9 – Peter replied “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well.” Reminds me of our Ezekiel River – not just dipping toes and ankles in the river but being IMMERSED, in over our heads (in the best possible way!!).

Tuesday Night: Scripture Focus John 14:1-14
my hope is in You - my hope for this adoption is in YOU - not in people or bethany christian services...only in You.

thank you for washing me white as snow...for rescuing me...for the promise of wholeness when i stand before You complete. thank you for beckoning me gently - and strongly!

am i asking you any "philip questions"? am i asking questions that You've already answered....
am i making any "thomas statements"? statements that are in direct opposition to what you've just said...

i think i fear that an adoption won't happen...i believe it's Your plan and that You ordain adoptions....i just keep doubting that it's going to happen. may i believe what you've said. in jesus name, i ask that you bring this adoption into being (this next part is what i feel like His response was to that) "it's already into being, dianna....it's well underway...just wait. wait for it. he's coming...and his little sister..."

we seek Him to see Him....we are asking for an outpouring of His Spirit...

Wednesday Crave: Scripture focus Philipians 2:1-18
He was (is) God - but did not consider equality with God something to be grasped...

He made Himself nothing - then God exalted Him to the highest place - and gave Him the name that is above every name!

God, you work in me to will and to act according to Your good purpose. i trust you in that

Isaiah 53...He took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows. His punishment brought us peace...His wounds bring healing. "this easter is for you...to remember what I did for you...for us...remember what My Son's death makes possible - life, wholeness, healing, peace, joy, so much more..."

Wednesday Night: Scripture focus John 15:1-17
remain in me and I will remain in you. stay with Me...I will stay with you! Remain in me and I WILL remain in you! Stay with Me....I will stay with you. it doesn't so much matter if you are getting it right...or whether you are certain of anything - just remain in Me....do your best to remain in Me - your best is enough! I will remain in you - Christ in you is the hope of glory!"

bearing fruit is for My Glory....nothing about it is about us or about our fruit bearing abilities....it's not about others noticing our fruit or commenting on our fruit. the fruit is for Me - every piece! should I choose to give a piece of the fruit that I've produced through you to another, so be it...it's My fruit to give! It's not up to you to concern yourself with giving away the fruit...I'll do that. If you remain in Me, you will bear much fruit. If you do not remain in Me, you can do nothing. absolutely nothing."

Thursday Night: Scripture Focus Mark 14:12-26, 32-42
Turn your eyes upon Jesus. look full in His wonderful face....He'll take up your full picture - He'll more than fill your gaze and give you plenty to look at. nothing else to look at...only Him.

God, i want to hear your voice....i want to hear clearly from you....what are you saying? I am with you. I am for you. I am refreshment for you. ..

i felt like i was "hearing" the following - but i didn't feel like it was for me...not sure who it's for....be still. be still. your busy-ness is out of control and it's not glorifying to me. be still...stop going here, there and everywhere. you have GOT to take time to abide - to be fed - to be nourished and strengthened - otherwise, what's the point? I want you - all of you - I want your busy schedule...so that I can take it and clear it - I want to give you time with me. you don't think it's possible - there's too much to do and not enough time - but, believe me beloved, my precious child, you cannot keep this pace. you've got to slow down...BE with me! we've got so much to talk about. I've got so much love to lavish on you...so much wholeness to bring to your life. just slow down and be still.

more of You, God. less of me...so much less of me. none of me.

Friday Night: Scripture Focus - the last words of Jesus on the Cross
rid me of myself, i belong to You!

it's hard to look at the cross...so hard. but it's necessary...and beautiful!

i feel exhausted. absolutely weary - oh so tired. too tired for You to talk to me....not "i'm too tired..." but "will i even be able to hear you?" yes, you'll hear. i'll speak and you'll hear.

that cross - my son on that cross - is for you...for you to be able to say and do all that I've commanded and all that I did (on the cross)....forgive, speak Truth that leads people to eternal life, serve/meet needs/notice needs, interact with God, have needs, know victory, give ourselves fully to God.

confession is a gift from the Lord - not punishment. it is meant to deliver you from the power of sin!

i'm having issues...

i was doing something on a website....clicked a button...and this message came up:

"We're having issues. Please be patient while we solve them."

i need that error message to pop up in my life (especially in regards to my attempt at being a mom)....that just says it all. "i'm having issues. please be patient while i solve them" (or maybe it should be "...while i try to let God solve them").

happy tuesday.

thankful thursday....14 hours late

• blue bunny’s birthday (and party)(and the gift of carrots)


• so many lessons about washing feet (and getting to practice it)


• boston butts


• sweet morning with friends


• picnics at the park


• prayer week


• “I’ll stand with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the one who gave His life…all I am is Yours…”


• 5 little sets of eyes and ears and hands and feet sitting still on the futon


• free coffee from starbucks (just the right mixture of coffee, cream & sugar)


• having recordings of mi graciasllj amiga singing children’s songs in Spanish.


• working with the lights off


• naps.


• a friend who lives close enough to just walk right over…and the beauty of that friendship…and the way she is raising her boys unto the Lord


• possibilities. and dreams.


• “Oh praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.”

one of my favorites...quite appropriate for easter...

In Christ Alone
Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend

In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all-
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev’ry sin on Him was laid-
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine-
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death-
This is the pow’r of Christ in me;
From life’s first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow’r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home-
Here in the pow’r of Christ I’ll stand.

super pretzels, dr. pepper & great faithfulness

breakfast of champions today: super pretzel (1/2 cinnamon, 1/2 regular) and dr. pepper (THE dr. pepper i've had stashed in my desk drawer for such a time as this)(and the super pretzel is from the vast supply here in the TA office freezer...come by and get one if you need a pretzel fix)(they may not be as good as mall pretzels, but pretzel lovers who aren't too picky will find them quite pleasing).

you may be asking, "what in the world is she doing eating super pretzels and making a blog entry if she's at the TA office on a Thursday morning? that girl is supposed to be working." excellent point. i'm giving myself a bit of a sabbatical...just for a few minutes (ie - i'm not on the clock right now!!). i came in earlier than usual this morning so that i could take advantage of the quietness and the reliable internet! i've had something on my mind that i've wanted to write about this week....

but right now this pretzel eating is getting in the way. i'm taking a bite and then wiping my hands and typing a bit...then taking another bite and wiping my hands....etc. by the way, i'm alternating between cinnamon bites and regular bites dipped in mustard.

i've been thinking about God's faithfulness. His faithfulness in my doubt....His faithfulness in hard times...His faithfulness to bless us...His faithfulness to love us. His incredible, reliable, unchanging, consistent, strong, amazing, GREAT faithfulness.

i have too many journals. i'm not sure i can even make a list of all the journals i have...but i'm going to try. but this is NOT so you can say "wow, she's so awesome with all her journals." it's more so you can say "why in the WORLD does she have so many journals?!" (it's on the verge of being out of control) the mantra "a place for everything and everything in it's place" is one that i rely on heavily (i don't say it much - but my life relies on it!) -- this includes notes, quotes, pieces of paper, ideas, cut outs, etc. thus, i have journals.

• my "normal" journal - this is the one i use day to day to take notes, write down quotes, etc.



• list of things i'm thankful for journal - i try to write things i'm thankful for in a bulleted list for (things range from having a baby to cherry coke...and lots in between). i think i'm up to 437 items. this gets added to pretty sporadically...usually when i think "oh, i havn't added anything to my thankful list lately...."



• parenting/homeschooling journal - this is where i write down all the notes and quotes that are related to (you guessed it!) parenting and homeschooling.



• random collage/straight from God journal - this one is a little tricky to explain and maybe you just need to see it to understand it (i'm happy to show it to you if you want to see it!)...it's the journal where i write down the "big lessons" that God is teaching me (this is another blog entry in and of itself!)...but, in a nutshell, when God brings the pieces together for me on something that i know He's been working on, it gets written in this particular book. this book also has lots of things stuck in it -- little things that have been cut from magazines; things that were on my wall in college, little special stuff that needed a place so that it wouldn't clutter up the rest of my life....it's kind of like there are 2 pages of collage and 2 pages of writing, then 2 more pages of collage and 2 more pages of writing, etc.



• list of books that i've read (this one's pretty self explanatory...and i learned it from my mom). i just like looking at the names of the books i've read!



• little notebook of lists - i like lists....so i keep a notebook with lists. some of the lists: possible band names (not for my band...i don't know that i'll ever have a band! just band names that i think would be successful!!!), potential book titles (again, not for my book...just for books in general), places i want to visit, etc.

i'm going to stop there - i won't include the binders i have that are sort of like journals or the electronic journals i keep via word documents....

the point of that list: in every journal i can see God's faithfulness to me....they are tangible reminders of His faithfulness to me (even the list of books that i've read remind me of God's faithfulness to give me time to enjoy reading...and His ability to bring just the right book at just the right time...).

the 2 that are my primary reminders of His faithfulness are my "normal journal" and the "random collage/straight from God" journal. the "normal journal" is what caused all of these thoughts about God's faithfulness in the first place....sunday i was flipping through my journal (honest confession: i do that if i'm trying to stay awake in church...)(it was a long night w/o a lot of sleep saturday!!!!) and i was AMAZED at all the prayer requests that i had written down that have TOTALLY been taken care of. these are requests of my own...or from our community group...or from Crave...or from the TA staff...or random other people. as i was reading through them i decided to put a "check mark" through the requests that no longer need to be prayed for - because they are over and done with and completely taken care of. SOOOO many of them now have a big check mark right through them.

God has brought people succcessfully through surgeries....He has healed....He has provided financially....He has given jobs....He has strengthened the weary....He has restored relationships.....He has walked some lovely people through hard times of grief and sorrow.....He has made events successful....He has given safe travel....He has provide opportunities for His love and gospel to be shared....He has brought folks through difficult family visits....HE has done all these things (and these are just the ones that i am aware of....). some of the check marks came quickly...others took years....and some things are still waiting on the check marks that God is going to provide.

when i look through my journal and see His great faithfulness i am strengthened and encouraged and reassured. He has been faithful - He will continue to be faithful! He has taken care of our deepest concerns and hardest struggles - He will continue to do so!

all we have needed, He has provided. great is Your faithfulness, Lord unto me!

that's what's been on my heart and mind this week - didn't realize it had so many words to it (i'm impressed that you made it all the way through!). now it's time to turn up the prayer room at ihop.org and get to work on the stack of stuff sitting here. thanks for sharing this little sabbatical with me...

favorite lines from Eminent Worship last night...such a sacred time.

• i look to you Yahweh...only to You.


• rid me of myself - i belong to You.


• may Your presence fill up my senses.


• You're the lifter of my head.

in other news...

...we have 4 chickens in our backyard. yup. 4 chickens. here's hoping for some eggs in a few months. i want to name them....but i don't know how to tell them apart....i made them some decoration for their "coop"....

...today was NOT my best day as a mom. it wasn't my worst...but definitely not my best. i almost lost it in toys r us. emma was screaming....eli was trying to convince me why he should be allowed to get something that cost more money than he had...caroline was having a very difficult time "choosing" what she wanted to get (they both had giftcards and the money they've been saving). i didn't make eye contact with anyone for the last 10 minutes of our adventure (i didn't want the "that woman's children are out of control" looks....though the reality was that only one was out of control - and it was the one that had missed her morning nap and was now being carted around a toy store when she should've been being fed her lunch). we made it out of there...and had some delightful parts of our afternoon putting legos together, sorting thousands of beads (quite literally) and making a couple of jewelry items.

...i miss my husband. he's only gone for 2 1/2 days....but my heart is sad without him.

caroline often says "i want you mama" - at night when it's time for her to lay down in bed...or at the door to her class on sunday mornings....or on monday mornings when i'm heading to the TA office (i keep telling her if she really wants me she'll enjoy me all the time that she can have me...cause some of that is surely wasted on fussing and bad attitudes and fit pitching!). the other night she said it...and this is the conversation that followed.

caroline: i want you, mama
me: i want you, too....
caroline: i want you more than anything.
me: thanks sweetheart.... (pause)....caroline, i want God more than anything....i was just telling Him that the other day at Crave...all i could write was "i want you, God. just You." over and over.
caroline: why do you want God, mama? you already have Him.
me: true...but i want more and more and more of Him.
caroline: but that's greedy.
me: i think that might be the one kind of greedy - greedy for God - that's ok.

for those of you praying for our adoption process: there's a very very slight possibility that there's a baby on the horizon for us. someone we are connected with is having a baby boy...and she's not sure she's ready to be a mom. it would really take a miracle for us to end up with the baby...but it's a possibility. feel free to pray. it's a little boy who is due sometime around august. we're praying God's best for that little one - whether that's with the birth mom or us or another family altogether. God's got good plans for that boy - we'd LOVE to be a part of His plan....but are willing to not be a part of His plan for that little boy if that's His plan for us!

in other news....i've gotten waaay too many "thirstbuster" cherry cokes from the spectrum on wynnton road lately. that needs to stop. but they are soooo good....and only .85 (tax included!). and the crushed ice is delightful!! it still needs to stop. i'm not getting one this week - feel free to keep me accountable if you see me.

that's about all i've got. thanks for sharing my life with me :)

favorite quotes from David Platt's book "Radical" (i knew i liked it....but i didn't realize there were so many favorite quotes)

"Jesus spurned the things my church culture said were most important."

"have we replaced what is radical about our faith with what is comfortable? are we settling for Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves?"

"a relationship with Jesus requires total, superior & exclusive devotion...."

"my plans and dreams swallowed up in His..."

"you know that in the end you are not really giving away anything at all. instead you are gaining - yes, you are abandoning everything you have, but you are also gaining more than you could have in any other way. so with joy - WITH JOY! - you sell it all, you abandon it all. why? because you have found something worth losing everything else for."

"...nothing but the people of God and the Word of God..."

"(church should be about) ... people who are equipped on sunday to participate in ministry every day of the week."

"Jesus simply, intentionally, systematically, patiently walked beside 12 men..."

"disciple making involves identifying with a community of believers who show love to one another and share life with one another as we live together for the glory of God."

"exciting things happen when the people of God believe the Word of God is worth spending their lives to teach to others."

"Jesus beckons us to plainly, humbly and quietly focus our lives on people."

"disciple making takes place multiple times every week in multiple locations by an army of men and women sharing, showing and teaching the Word of Christ and together serving a world in need of Christ."

"part of our sinful nature instinctively chooses to see what we want to see and to ignore what we want to ignore."

"i am finding deep joy in depending on Christ for the guidance only He can provide as He produce the fruit of the gospel in my life."

"we seemed to have organized ourselves, not to engage in battle for the souls of peoples around the world, but to indulge ourselves in the peaceful comforts of the world."

"are we willing to fundamentally alter our understanding of christianity from a luxary-liner approach that seeks more comforts in the world to a troop-carrier approach that forsakes comforts in the world to accomplish an eternally significant task and achieve an eternally satisfying reward?"

"our greatest security is not found in the comforts we can manufacture in this world but in the faithful provision of The Only One who knows our needs and The Only One who is able to meet our needs in every way."

"the possibilities are limitless when the people of God are equipped and empowered to accomplish the purpose of God in the context of where they live day in and day out..."

"in our quest for extraordinary we often overlook the importance of the ordinary...a radical lifestyle actually begins with an extraordinary commitment to ordinary practices..."

"giving 2% of our time to make the gospel known in another context radically transforms the other 98% of our lives in our own context..."

"give liberally. go urgently. live dangerously."

"the challenge is to use the freedoms, resources and opportunities God has entrusted to use for His purpose in the world, all the while remaining careful not to embrace the ideas, values and assumptions that contradict what God has said in His word."

quote from nick: "maybe this book should be called 'Biblical' instead of 'Radical'."

Job 36:22-33 (the msg)

do you have any idea how powerful God is? have you ever heard of a teacher like Him? has anyone ever had to tell Him what to do, or correct him, saying, 'You did that all wrong!'? remember, then, to praise his workmanship, which is so often celebrated in song. everybody sees it; nobody is too far away to see it.

take a long, hard look. see how great He is—infinite, greater than anything you could ever imagine or figure out!

He pulls water up out of the sea, distills it, and fills up his rain-cloud cisterns.
then the skies open up and pour out soaking showers on everyone. does anyone have the slightest idea how this happens? how He arranges the clouds, how He speaks in thunder? just look at that lightning, His sky-filling light show illumining the dark depths of the sea! these are the symbols of His sovereignty, His generosity, His loving care. He hurls arrows of light, taking sure and accurate aim. The High God roars in the thunder, angry against evil.