my eyes are having a hard time staying fixed on Him. they keep wandering to others...and, inevitably, i don't measure up - at least in my estimation i don't measure up. i fear this blog is just one more thing in my life that i hold up in comparison to others... and i end up thinking "it's not as cool...it's not as meaningful...others don't like it as much....i don't have anything worth sharing..." facebook. children. friendships. love for others. service to others. kindness. compassion. homeschooling. i'm not measuring up. TRUTH be loud. lies be silent!
my heart is unsettled. i'm just not quite myself. the things i've dealt with so intensely in the past have resurfaced. i hate it. not that i thought i was done....but i sort of thought i was done.
His divine nod of approval IS sufficient....and, i say this as humbly as i know how, i believe He is giving me His divine nod of approval. He's giving so many His divine nod of approval. why do i not rest in His nod? THE thing that is enough, isn't enough for me today. i'm so sorry, Daddy.
oh that i would avoid comparisons, resist exaggerations and seek only God's commendation. that i would REJOICE in the strengths of others - rather than setting myself up against them. when a friend gives another friend a huge compliment, be glad that you have such awesome friends! don't think "if she's the most fun mom then i must not be." ridiculous.
we've talked about this. be done. set your heart on things above, not on earthly things. fix your eyes on Him, the author and perfector of your faith (the author and perfector of you!). whatever you do, do it with all your heart - serving the Lord, not men.
in other news: i'm enjoying swedish fish these days and counting the days until nick returns from Bogota (6).
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