grateful. grateful. grateful.

• TEAL (the color)
• pretty nails 
• anja and pam's kindness (though pam says mainly anja's)
• video chats with nick (and all the silly things he and emma can find to do)

• ground coffee from grandaddy (in a very creative container)
• a taylor made delightful evening (chocolate chip cookies + pizza + a walk in the neighborhood)
• so much exercise for the older 2 cash kids - climbing at treadstone, ultimate, hours of floor hockey, walking in the woods
• journal upon journal + a few bibles that SCREAM of God's Great Faithfulness to me through the decades

• "don't apologize for being you, that's not allowed around here." - annie f downs
• songs playing at columbus park crossing (including sweet caroline and africa)
• "this thing moves at alarming speeds." - eli, speaking of zoe
• one sweet sister helping another "climb"

•  talking to lane on his birthday - i wish everyone in the world could have a brother that believes in them the way my brother believes in me.
• strawberry lime smoothie (thanks for the coupon, money mailer!)
• william's help with the flat tire (that makes #4 in about as many weeks)(?!?)
• solo picnic at heath park

• coffee + biscotti + our wednesday afternoon routine with lovely friends
• when the cherry coke tastes JUST RIGHT. 
• expedited shipping upgrade 
• when the car dings with a good message

• "you're not too young to make covenants with God about your future." - p mike
• having a trusted mechanic in tim butterfield at sheffield's 
• emma's consistent "can i help you carry anything?" question as we're getting in/out of the car
• midtown coffee's rawandan chiller with the life-giving barbara cummings

5 minutes on the word of the week: Complete

Complete

I don't know if any males read my blog other than Nick...but heads up, this may have a little more female-ish information than you'd like to read on a Sunday afternoon or Tuesday morning or whenever you happen to be reading this.  

Complete.  This may not even be the case but isn't "complete" the word that is used when one is in the process of giving birth and all of the parts have done their dilating and that baby is ready to make his/her appearance?  I'm not an expert in this area...I never got to hear complete used in that context (and that's A-0K with me!  I'm grateful for the c-sections that brought our babies into the world - even Zoe!)(And I didn't have to get to "complete" to deliver precious Andrew)(He would have been 11 today.  Wow.) 

And this verse comes to mind: James 1 :4 "Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."  (the verses before that talk about considering it joy when you face challenges because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance)

Not lacking anything.  I like the sound of that. 

"It is finished" is the other phrase that comes to mind with the word complete.  What God did through Jesus on the cross is complete - total - lacking nothing - so that all of my sins can be COMPLETELY forgiven.  I can walk in complete wholeness and freedom because of the complete sacrifice of God and His son. 

Complete. Finished. Lacking nothing. 

And it's satisfactorily ironic that this blog post feels absolutely incomplete. 

the gifts of this past week. or at least the ones i noticed. i bet there were more that i didn't unwrap.

• grandaddy and emma's time at bareware pottery
• plethora of food the cottage guests left
• friday night + netflix + popcorn + emma
• offers of help while nick is away
• when the bff slips me a twenty (and $10 is earmarked for cappuccino blasts)
• when a child makes a really wise decision (wish all their decisions were wise)
• staying calm when a child makes a really poor decision (wish i could always stay calm)
• how an hour and a half alone can feel like 3 (and be so very refreshing)
• coffee & conversation at shelley's
• permission to be boring...

• sitting with an incredible friend at treadstone
• ll cool j's awesome questions
• mcmichael family ssi vacation is booked!
• lazy low key saturday
• nick is safe and sound (and having a WONDERFUL time) on the Africa Mercy
• enneagram conversations
• friends who pull out the leftovers (now that is true friendship!)
• celebrating aaron with chili dogs + campfire 
• the giggles and songs that come from the backseat sometimes
• inaugural trip to captain d's with 3 cool kids (Zoe is cool, too...but she slept through it and didn't eat...so not including her in this one!)

5 minutes on the word of the week: Adjust

Adjust

The word given to me this week is adjust.  That's a good one for me because it may be THE VERY THING that I struggle with most...and my amazing husband and kids are the ones that usually get the ugly side of my adjustment. I've learned to say something along the lines of "I'm having to adjust...give me a minute" or "that's not what I was expecting..." or "I'm trying to adjust...I'lll be ok in a bit."   I THINK - I think, that I always end up adjusting and doing ok in the end...but the beginning stages of adjustment are almost always flat out ugly. 

For the most part it's simply - and disgustingly - selfishness that comes out when I am having to adjust and not handling it well.  I want what I want.  I want what I thought the plan was.  I want my plan to be carried out. I don't want to have to come up with a new plan.  (Sometimes it feels like it took all that I had to come up with the plan that is in motion - so then to have to change mid-stream feels next to impossible.)

Sometimes it's big plans (the recent hospital stay comes to mind)...other times tiny: my cheeseburger had lettuce and tomato when I very clearly asked for ketchup, mayonaise and mustard only.  Adjust.  Take off the lettuce and tomato (but the residue and taste is still there!!!!)(it's ok...better luck next time...it won't be the last cheeseburger you order...and at least you have food to eat).  So you weren't planning to stay at the hospital - the beautiful thing is that all of everything was taken care of by loving friends and family.  You lacked nothing, Dianna.  Your kids were cared for.  Yaya and Nick brought everything you needed.  LJ got better! 

If I had more than 5 minutes I could write far too many stories of difficult adjustments. 

I'm learning in this.  I'm growing in my ability to adjust - I don't think it takes quite as long for me to switch gears as it used to....but I can still see alot of growth potential in my ability to adjust.  Alot.

My thought this morning is that ultimately my struggle to adjust is a lack of trust...(and still a whole lot of selfishness at being inconvenienced).  Lack of trust that no matter the changes or set backs or adjustments needed, God is still in control . He is still with me.  He is still for me.  (even when my cheeseburger has vegetables on it.)

a few more.

• gerber daisies and aldi flowers
• the hug LJ gave me friday night
• very successful velocity lock in
• easy travels to knoxville
• shea's hospitality
• good smelling lotion
• drew & ellie holcomb show with shea

• comfy blow up mattress (memory foam mattress topper does the trick!)
• "the more i give the less i need" - song at legacy church
• kind couple who helped with my flat tire AND drove slow on the interstate behind me from the TN/GA line all the way to Atlanta just to make sure the spare tire was ok
• dinner with josh and katie
• i made it home
• how the house is always neat and straight when i come in from being away
• strong words/prayers in the midst of our history lesson (livingstone)

• the joy of having a year round valentine
• hearing the chapman's story during community group
• LJ's courage during court 
• "I am training you to practice peace that overpowers darkness."  -jesus calling
• katherine's words and prayers in the woods
• the goat i ran over is ok 
• encouraging texts. 

how many time can friends + coffee be in one list? (4. the answer is 4.)

• Resa's connection/kind words/prayers
• time to work on back burner projects
• "nourishment room" at the hospital
• JOY Jar
• learning to adjust
• the end it movement.  

• getting training hours
• christal's visit and the gift of coffee
• bag o' goodies from molly - especially the granola!
• shelley's presence and cappuccino blast
• courtesy wifi
• sunday afternoon couch moments with caroline

• LJ seems back to normal
• so much connection/understanding/agreement (and good coffee) with tiffany
• helping caroline rearrange her room (and a little redemption for a childhood memory)
• skatepark megan.  i hope to see her again someday.
• nice chunk of time with molly
• aaron has a membership at treadstone!

• icecream coupons for BK
• awakening night of worship
• date night: tennis and running followed up with krystal chili cheese pups
• the privilege of cleaning up (means there are people/things/home)
• new to us gray couch and loveseat
• amy t + frosted coffee + meaningful sharing

• yaya and her willingness to come to my defense and giving me $ for vending machine treats and sharing her shoes and bringing me a quesadilla and making date night possible with her babysitting skillz/willingess to cart kids around
• zoe's waves/yawns/smiles/claps/everything
• wise decisions
• nick's hard work cleaning up after community group
• eli's initiative 
• all the places the book has been...

• caroline's kindness towards emma
• it worked out to run this morning
• LJ is catching on to division!!
• gift certificate for 4th avenue car wash. man oh man...i like a clean car (on the inside is more important than on the outside)(true in life, too)(though clean on the outside is nice, too)
• the ever familiar handwriting of kathy winstead...she's been investing in me for 20+ years :)
• when all the scripture/sermons/quotes are all pointing in one direction (marching orders)

Requested word of the week: Seek

Seek

So this is fun, I had a friend request a word of the week.  She said, "Could you write on the word 'seek'?"  Sure! I'm happy to give it a go.  

"Seek and you will find" is the phrase blaring loud in my mind (blaring like a shofar.  just kidding.  blaring like music coming from a car riding the strip at Panama City Beach.)

SEEK and you will find.

Seek AND you will find.

Seek and YOU will find.

Seek and you WILL find.

Seek and you will FIND.

(that's a fun little game I play if I want to try to look at a verse from some different angles)

What is it that you're looking for?  

The Word (He is the Word!) tells us to look for it and it will be found.  There's another verse that talks about "seeking with a whole heart" -- seek with all of your being, all of your efforts, all of your energy...the promise is that you will find what you're looking for.  And a promise is a promise.    

I have a philosophy (I have lots of philosophies):  if something is lost/missing, start cleaning up and it will show up.  I don't think that philosophy has let me down yet.  It's what helps when shoes are missing...or my not-always-with-me-not-sure-where-I-put-it cell phone. Just start putting stuff where it belong and eventually you'll come across the thing that's missing.  Two things happen in the process - order is restored (to me, that's always a good thing) and the item is eventually found.  If you've cleaned up EVERYTHING and it's still missing, it's just not there (so then you get to start cleaning up other stuff...your car...your office...the whole world...)(because maybe just maybe your mama took it to goodwill when you weren't paying attention and it's something that doesn't need to be found)(speaking for a friend)(or myself)(you choose).  

I wonder if the same principle is true in our spiritual life.  If something is missing, start cleaning up (not that we have to be clean to be with God!) - if you're looking for patience, start cleaning up the impatience.  If you're looking for wisdom, start cleaning out the junk that is the opposite of wisdom.  I don't know...I've never really thought about it this way.  

Time's up.  This has given me things to think about...and I"m thankful for that.  

Sorry, not sorry, for all of the parentheses.  I tend to write how I talk...and that just happens to include lots of parenthetical expressions.  :) 

2nd word of the week: Biscuits

Biscuits

I asked for a second word. I've got time.  Might as well write for 5 minutes on the word biscuit.  

When we were living onboard the Africa Mercy I learned quite a bit about biscuits.  The first thing I learned is that the vast majority of the world does not grasp/understand/approve of the concept of biscuits and gravy.  Occasionally we had breakfast for dinner (which was controversial in and of itself) and once there were biscuits and gravy - the Australians and the Europeans were quite appalled (and per usual, had no problem voicing their appallment :))(just made that word up).  They were quite appalled by lots of American things. - civilians owning guns, peanut butter and the serious lack of proper tea drinking in this country, just to mention a few.

The second thing I learned is that a biscuit in England is a cookie.  And a chip is a crisp.  And a French Fry is a chip.  And trash is rubbish.  And a diaper is a nappy.  I introduced one of my teachings (sermons? lessons?) with an elaborate chart describing and explaining all of these things.  One of my intentions when we left the ship was to continue using these words instead of the normal American words.  That hasn't really happened.  

One last quirky biscuit thing about me.  I use biscuit to name various things - for instance, if a car pulls out in front of me I might say something like  "watch out there biscuit"  or if a child makes a request I may respond with "hang on just a minute little biscuit."  

Who knew there was so much to say about biscuits?  

5 minutes on the word of the week: Resolve

Resolve

Song lyrics and Bible verses...that's nearly always what pops into my mind first when I first read the word of the week.  Then I think about the definition of the word...then I work it into how it fits into my relationship with God (which sometimes all sounds the same to me).  I don't mean for it to lean towards that process, it just does.  But I want to keep writing...so here goes.  

I am resolved no longer to linger... That's the hymn that came to mind today.  I am resolved...what am I resolved to do? First, let me check the definition.  

re·solve
/rəˈzälv/
verb1. settle or find a solution to (a problem, dispute, or contentious matter).
"the firm aims to resolve problems within 30 days"

2. decide firmly on a course of action.
"she resolved to call Dana as soon as she got home"

1. • 
     
   • 
     

My mind definitely goes towards the second definition prior to the first.  Not for a second did I think about resolve as in "resolve a problem or conflict."  With that in mind, I will say that I would love for whatever is going on in LJ's body to be resolved (he's been sick for a week now, with multiple ER trips and a plastic couch in a hospital room on which I am sitting as I type) - may this come to resolution. May a solution be found.  A sentence for the defintion: "The doctor (and nurses and loved ones and friends) aims to resolve LJ's sickness ASAP." 

My resolve is to stick with him.  To keep caring as best I can.  To see this through.  To see him through.  To lean on Jesus and Trust in Him every step of the way.   

(I am also resolved to finish our 2017 Family Photo Book...and this couch is proving to be a good place to work on it.)