pre-thanksgiving ramblings

so, i'm not sure if it's just this computer or if it's computer's all over the world...but, because i don't know the web address for my blog, i typed "becausehetoldme" into the search engine and a link to my blog was the first thing that popped up. somebody else try it...let me know what happens!!! (just kidding...you don't have to try it!)

i've got nothing in particular to blog about...just thought i'd take advantage of having internet in the house where i am sleeping. we're in warrenton for thanksgiving. had a sweet ride over today...read a kids' version of oliver twist to the kiddos...finished a book of my own...listened to fun music....2 out of 3 kids slept part of the way, the other was peaceful and cheerful (and quiet!) while her brother and sister snoozed. stopped in sparta to use the bathroom...closed our eyes and ignored the nastiness of that gas station bathroom while we used the facilities. that was gross. i'm going to erase it from my memory now and move on to better thoughts. we had some fruit snacks and lollipops as we made the home stretch. we've had a sweet afternoon here at 90 johnson street this afternoon...ate some pizza from doug's...drank some cherry coke...pulled some girls around the block in a wagon...watched a pick up game of football in my brother's yard. now one sweet emma is sleeping in the pack and play (fell asleep without so much as a cry). eli and caroline are heading to the cabin with their uncle lane to sleep (hopefully) and have some fun with their cousins. i'm enjoying pandora. nick is organizing star wars cards (?). just got a sweet hug from my daddy! oh the joy of holidays!!

random: i'm a bit amazed by texting. i can totally keep in communication with someone across the state...or nation (except in dead spots like 2215 19th ave -- the coverage in warrenton has improved greatly i must say!). what a fun treat (and a treat that can easily be left in another room if i need not partake at a particular moment!). (and i'm amazed that i think texting is a treat...some days, not so much because of how they won't send inside our house).

i'm very thankful that the sadness i've felt the past few days seems to be shaken. i think it "broke" yesterday when my sweet friend walked through the gate with her friendship and hugs...and continued to be broken through the cup of coffee...and through conversation with the my "three at three"....continued as nick and i shared some quality time last night ...and the good night of sleep definitely helped...the peaceful morning was a gift...time at crave solidified it all. our God is faithful...and so kind.

i'm looking forward to tomorrow...no doubt the food will be good (what am i looking forward to most? um...papa palmer's corncakes come to mind...and dessert....and more cherry coke cause i know it's in the fridge at the cabin! and the fried turkey.) and four wheelers and walks in the woods...remembering and forgetting and making new memories...seeing my siblings....it's going to be a good day. being with my family is a blessing - i'm very thankful to be able to say that and mean it.

God has overwhelmed me with good things. the "Jesus Calling" today talked about looking for the gifts that He has set out for us along the way (and gathering them up like flowers...and then giving Him his bouquet back at the end of the day - a lovely picture!). It was a reminder to me that we often see what we're looking for. I want to be looking for the good...looking for the gifts...looking for the blessings and the hand of God in the midst of whatever and wherever. He is present...that is Gift in and of itself. And, as if that's not enough - He continues to lavish us with love and other gifts. May we have eyes to see HIM and His gifts...and hearts that are grateful.

A most happy thanksgiving to each of you....may our hearts be more thankful than ever before!

focusing my heart....thankfulness

Words from Jesus Calling: “it is impossible to spend too much time thanking and praising Me.”

My heart is feeling a bit overwhelmed…a bit sad…a bit out of sorts…(and I’m not altogether sure why)…but I just read “thanksgiving and praise put you in proper relationship with Me, opening the way for My riches to flow into you.” I need His riches to flow in me (in to me and out of me!)… therefore, my heart is going to focus on being thankful rather than overwhelmed…on being grateful rather than sad….on Him instead of on my out-of-sortness. Honestly, I’m having a hard time coming up with things to be thankful for….but I KNOW there’s so much…here’s an attempt at a thankful monday list, let's see where it goes:

• An exchange of meaningless ink cartridges for useful ink cartridges (and the likeness of that exchange to what God does for us…takes what is meaningless (us/our old life) and swaps it for something useful (him/new life) (it’s not that he makes the useless useful….it’s a total exchange!)
• For things that don’t hurt – ie, if my tooth was hurting right now I’d realize how grateful I am for all the days when my tooth doesn’t hurt (and how grateful I am for our awesome dentist, tyler myers!!!). so today, a day when nothing hurts – not a tooth or a stomache or a head – I am thankful.
• Children who are NOT coughing.
• Washing machines. So little input for such tremendous results.
• A sweet friend who cares enough to ask what the tears were for…and to bring me tangible reminders of her thoughts, prayers & care…(now if I can just keep the Christmas cactus alive….)
• Caroline was excited about Caitlin being here today! (emma wasn’t quite so excited…but she had fun, too).
• Walking with nick through fantasy in lights last night (yay for winning free tickets from The Truth!)
• God has us…and He’s not letting go of us. He’s got good plans for us…and He’s going to take care of our hearts – all of our hearts!
• Today is a day worth rejoicing over….even if it doesn’t “feel” like it (I’m thinking feelings are overrated)
• Caroline giving free makeovers with her new “set”…and the location of her makeover station? The cabinet in the hallway…she’s got it all set up and she’s in the cabinet, open for business…complete with instructional signs like “girls must do their hair in the morning…except girls with hair like boys like emma….” And “crew members only must enter by the arrow. We’ll make sure no one is excluded.” I love that girl’s creativity and thinking.
• Eli’s love for reading…and willingness to read…and desire to “do more history"
• That God celebrates us every day as much as everyone else does on our birthdays (x’s a bazillion). He has special thoughts and gifts and encouragement for each of us daily….not just on our birthday!
• That thankfulness really does help. The thankfulness tends to push the grumbling and complaining out of the way.

every good and perfect gift is from Him.

so very thankful for:

• Working alongside my husband at the dining room table (and in life)
• Christmas surprises
• Wedding invitation ornaments…(not an original idea…but one I’m rather fond of and am having fun implementing)
• This year’s TA ornament from Addie (Excellent job! Talented girl! Generous heart! Reliable worker!)
• That horrible version of “oh holy night” (I am not thankful for that version of the song…but thankful the laughter – and cringes – it causes)
• Eli’s monopoly skillz
• The words/picture Jessica Hall shared with me after crave yesterday
• That man in wal-mart who was talking on the phone and said (rather adamantly) “but I’m not on the grass cutting committee.”
  
• The fabulous (live!)(loud!) band that was playing in the White’s living room Wednesday afternoon
• Parts of my house are cleaner and more organized than they’ve been in a while (other parts, not so much)
• Worship.
• Thinking about (and practicing) how to live more simply in order to give more generously.
• Waking up in the middle of the night and falling back asleep to the sound of the rain
• When the clocks says 12:34 (1,2,3,4)
• Good smelling soap. Being clean. What a privilege we so often take for granted.
  

unthankful for:

• whatever is responsible for the deaths of the other 2 chickens. we are officially chickenless.

thursday...a good day to be thankful.

i'm sorry i haven't blogged much in the past week + some....i've had thoughts that i've wanted to share...but haven't taken the time to type them out. seems like wanting to sleep has taken precendence over cutting on the old computer and typing (though i've been told if i had a mac i would never cut it off...that their nature is to work better if they are never cut off. glad i'm not a mac. i need to be cut off.) so...here's hoping the thoughts will stick around long enough to get typed...

what am i thankful for today? goodness. i'm thankful that death has lost its sting - that death has been swallowed up in victory. i don't fully understand that promise....but it gives me hope in the midst of sadness and tragedy....it surely doesn't make loss through death hurt any less here on earth...but it's amazing to know that our God has victory over death -- the death of babies we've not met...the death of little ones who (in our finite minds) had so much life yet to be lived...death as the result of tragedy or disease...death as the result of desperation...death as the result of being old and bodies wearing out. death is not the end of life. it's just not. it may be the end of life as we know it - but for those who know God (and oh, i hope you know Him - truly know Him...not just about Him...and not just what you were taught as a child...but HIM...His nature and His kindness...His grace...His love...His patience....His delight...His justice...) there's so much more life - Life that is truly life! - that is ours to be lived and enjoyed and experienced for all of eternity (boggles my mind.). i don't "like" death....but i don't mind it either...and when i really think about it, i get a little envious of those who don't have to deal with this earth anymore. one day we will be complete...fully as God intends us to be...and if it takes dying to get to that point, i'm ok with that (but i still miss the littles ones i never got to meet...and my hurt hearts tremendously for the parents dealing with the loss of toddlers....and i can't stand the thought of a young adult having to handle all the funeral preparations for his mother...)

sooooo....that's not where i thought this blog entry was heading when i started....but that's what i'm thankful for - that our God is VICTORIOUS over death. And is with WITH us in death...

what else am i thankful for?

• sonic ice
• yaya & grandaddy's grace & peace & understanding & generosity
• clean clothes
• steak dinners
• sharing
• getting to see lauren!
• money for new black flip floppish shoes
• 11.11.11
• good music
• the TA board that works so hard
• amazima bracelet
• friends who know me & know what i like (and don't like)
• signs on my front door full of encouragement and love
• watching carey & eli play chess
• caroline still doesn't think she wants to learn to read (makes me laugh.)

what am i not thankful for?

• whatever "thing" (cat? owl? possom? wildabeast?) that has taken 2 of our chickens. not thankful.
• mean people
• rush/hurry
  

thankful

sometimes it's easier to be thankful that others...but it's always beneficial to be thankful....maybe even more so when we don't "feel like it"...a cartoon blueberry once said "a thankful heart is a happy heart" -- here's my attempt at adding some happiness to my heart!

• God has plans for each of us. plans to prosper us and not to harm us. plans to give us hope and a future. i'm very thankful for that. and thankful that He knows the plan....and He'll let me in on the plan - or the next part of the plan - at just the right time.
  
• painting bricks
• apple dumplings (and the simplicity of that recipe!!!)
• smores made in the mircowave (a decent 2nd when a campfire isn't accessible)
• carpooling
• kaci's thoughtfulness (and her ability to know so many random things about me and what i like!)
• "your accounts are in balance" messages from the state & federal government in regards to TA taxes
• caroline's cracker crushing abilities (and her help in making poppyseed chicken)
  
• "emma, what does a cat say?" "mew!!" (very high pitched)
• taking surveys and filling out forms. i think it's fun.
  
• chili, costumes and candy at yaya's
• emma's amazing trick or treating abilities - her little legs kept up with the big kids
• eli's thoughtfulness with his candy...his first order of business was to pick out everyone's favorites and deliver them (he even went so far as to chase nick down 2 houses away to give him a reese's).
• countdown to thanksgiving (we'll see if the kids like the countdown/system as much as i do)
• bread bowls filled with deliciousness at the markert's tuesday night. i love community (and good food).