another thirsty verse... Isaiah 43:20 ...I provide water in the desert and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise.
not that i'm in any sort of desert or my life is a wasteland...quite the opposite, actually...but i love the thought that He gives drink to His people - and it's for the purpose of proclaiming His praise! He fills me so that i can praise Him. i praise Him for filling me.
other fabulous verses that stood out to me as i read isaiah 43...verse 12 "I have revealed and saved and proclaimed..." and the end of verse 13 "when I act, who can reverse it?" and verse 19 "see, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?" i'm kind of wondering what "new thing" He is doing...adoption is the first thing that pops into my mind as i've asked Him what the new thing is. we've started taking official steps in that direction. we had an orientation with Bethany last week...i started researching grant opportunities yesterday...it's springing up - i think i am perceiving it! i sure hope i am. i always want to perceive the new thing that He is doing!
this really stood out to me: verse 25 "I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for MY OWN SAKE, and remembers your sin no more." i think i've always thought that He forgives me for my sake...and it is for my sake...but it's for HIS SAKE, too. He forgives me for His sake. boggles my mind just a bit. He loves me so much and wants fellowship with me so much that He forgives my ugliness, my selfishness, my rotteness, my mistakes, my failures, my sin...He forgives me for His sake. thank you, God.
in other news - i'm on a double stuffed oreo and milk kick right now.
25 March 2010
17 March 2010
thirsty
matthew 5:6 "blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled."
psalm 68:9 "You gave abundant showers O God; you refreshed your weary inheritance."
His promises are great and precious. I haven't been this thirsty in a long time.
psalm 68:9 "You gave abundant showers O God; you refreshed your weary inheritance."
His promises are great and precious. I haven't been this thirsty in a long time.
10 March 2010
psalm 36:8 (and 9)
...you give them drink from your river of delights....with You is the fountain of life.
i brought my husband flowers yesterday - daffodils picked from the yard. this morning they were all fwamped over (maybe not a real word, but one i use often nonetheless). i know that flowers aren't meant to be ripped from the ground and disconnected from their roots and it's not the best thing for them to have their stems cut in half - but i still didn't think they had any right to already be fwamped. turns out that the vase didn't have any water in it. i added water...now they are back to being beautiful daffodils again.
i've been thinking about being thirsty...and drinking...about being filled. living water. it just doesn't work to go without water - our heads hang low, our spirits sink, we're not pretty (in no way am i referring to outward appearance). add water - a drink from His river of delights - we perk right back up and live.
He gives us drink from His river of delight. hallelujah. with Him is the fountain of life. drink up.
i brought my husband flowers yesterday - daffodils picked from the yard. this morning they were all fwamped over (maybe not a real word, but one i use often nonetheless). i know that flowers aren't meant to be ripped from the ground and disconnected from their roots and it's not the best thing for them to have their stems cut in half - but i still didn't think they had any right to already be fwamped. turns out that the vase didn't have any water in it. i added water...now they are back to being beautiful daffodils again.
i've been thinking about being thirsty...and drinking...about being filled. living water. it just doesn't work to go without water - our heads hang low, our spirits sink, we're not pretty (in no way am i referring to outward appearance). add water - a drink from His river of delights - we perk right back up and live.
He gives us drink from His river of delight. hallelujah. with Him is the fountain of life. drink up.
it might tell you alot about me.
so it's way late...but i want to go ahead and reply to you cause if i don't do it tonite it might be next week before i get the chance again...i still have lots of thoughts...but i don't know that they are going to come out very "pretty"...or if they are going to make much sense...but i think i'm just going to start typing and see what happens...
i think (and i say this long before we've adopted a child...it's just my thought) one of the hardest parts of adopting - especially if the child you're adopting is your first - is that you don't get to ease into anything related to being a mom...it's just like "wham, here's a kid"...with a newborn you totally get to ease into being a mom...you THINK you're overwhelmed and tired and that you don't know what you're doing with a little baby but the reality is that God is giving it to you in bite sized pieces. !) God knew that you could handle it in bigger than bite sized pieces, thus the 3 year old (and now almost 5 year old!)! knowing that He knows you can handle it doesn't make everyday life any easier though...i think that what you're doing in being your little boy's mom is a holy calling...a sacred sacrifice....a gift...an act of worship. In some ways I think the love, time and attention you're giving to him is just as much love, time and attention that you're giving to God. NOT that loving your little boy and taking care of his needs is cause to stop seeking Him and stop spending time with Him. Obviously that's not what you want to do or you wouldn't have sent the message...God is pleased with you, sweet friend. He knows your heart...He knows your faithfulness to Him...He knows that you desire to stay connected to the Vine. There's grace upon grace....the truth (that i know you know!!) is that He has given you everything you need for life and godliness. He's given you everything you need to be a mom. He is before all things and in Him all things hold together - including you and your mom-dom. He gently leads those that have young. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. He is strong in our weaknesses...and oh how weak we are! But OH HOW STRONG HE IS. I would encourage you to claim all the verses you know to be true -- even look at scripture through the lens of being a mom. That's what came to mind when you said you feel "spiritually distracted" -- that maybe one way to not feel distracted is to bring the distractions right into your time with God. As you feel distracted - as you remember appointments that are coming or things that need to be done - just bring it before God. Cast your cares on Him - your cares for your son, your cares about being a mom, etc. - He cares for you! Just as you would surrender any struggle, surrender this...A friend of mine talks about how she used to get so distracted when she was trying to worship or spend time with God -- her mind would immediately start filling up with things she needed to get done. instead of trying to ignore them she would just jot them down and then go back to reading or worshipping or whatever. so instead of the enemy winning and distracting her, he actually helped her by giving her a to-do list that she could pick up when she was done with her worship or studying or whatever. God knows that you are longing for Him...and He knows that you're longing to be an excellent mother for this child He's entrusted you with...
As far as fellowship - that's a tough one - i totally hear you on wanting and needing "like-minded" fellowship. i could care less about where little lucy's clothes came from or how many activities joe is involved in. really, for the most part, i don't want to hear about anyone else's kids at all...i want to hear about what the Lord is teaching them or what they are struggling with....I want to share my heart and life and know that someone is praying for me (and with me!). I want to know what scripture has stood out to them this week or how they have blessed their husband in the past few days. I want accountability and encouragement....not breeding grounds for competition (and not conversation about completely meaningless things!). So what works for me? i wish i could say that meeting regularly with other moms works for me...but it doesn't. i do have a little "playgroup" that i coordinate...i just invite other moms and kids to come over on friday mornings -- some weeks are more of a blessing than others and that's ok.
as far as connecting with other females -- e-mailing works for me alot - i have one friend that i share alot of life with through e-mail...we ask each other the tough questions and just share life together...(btw, i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to start having e-mail conversations with you!!). i have a thing called "crave" that i go to every wednesday -- it's not a ladies bible study (generally i'm not so much a fan of those - no offense to those who are) -- it's more of a time to just come and sit in God's presence and listen. it's a sacred, set aside part of my week. childcare is provided. it's a guaranteed part of my week. there's usually music in the background and some verses to think about...then at the end we come together and share anything the Lord has spoken to us (so there is a fellowship aspect of it...but it's more about God than the other women!). i typically spend time alone with God in the afternoon when the kids are napping (or resting as is the case these days with eli and caroline). it's my priority. i have NO idea what your weeks look like with work and all. not sure if getting up early is a possibility or staying up a little later would work. if it's undistracted time alone with God you're needing, maybe you could sort of schedule special times where your husband takes your child out and you have your house to yourself (you'd have to resist the urge to clean up or do chores or whatever). or maybe vice versa - you got out and have a meeting with God and leave the fellas at home.
one resource i'm LOVING these days is the prayer room at ihop.org Have you ever heard about IHOP? it's the "international house of prayer" based in kansas city. about 10 years ago they started a prayer room that has worship and prayer 24 hours a day 7 days a week. sometimes it gets a little crazy (with healing services and raucous worship :) - awesome stuff...stuff i'm still getting used to!) but most of the time it's very peaceful and a very neat place to automatically plug in. my favorite is "worship in the word" -- usually whoever is leading worship is just singing scripture. it's fabulous. i have no idea if any of this is at all what you were looking for or needing...just what's in my heart.
i guess a few other things might be to read the book "sacred parenting" - written by gary thomas. i'd never heard of him or this book until a friend recommended it. by far the best parenting book i've read. it's not about "do this, do that and get this kind of child"...it's more about the fact that parenting, done unto the Lord, is holy and sacred (and hard!!). ''
i think (and i say this long before we've adopted a child...it's just my thought) one of the hardest parts of adopting - especially if the child you're adopting is your first - is that you don't get to ease into anything related to being a mom...it's just like "wham, here's a kid"...with a newborn you totally get to ease into being a mom...you THINK you're overwhelmed and tired and that you don't know what you're doing with a little baby but the reality is that God is giving it to you in bite sized pieces. !) God knew that you could handle it in bigger than bite sized pieces, thus the 3 year old (and now almost 5 year old!)! knowing that He knows you can handle it doesn't make everyday life any easier though...i think that what you're doing in being your little boy's mom is a holy calling...a sacred sacrifice....a gift...an act of worship. In some ways I think the love, time and attention you're giving to him is just as much love, time and attention that you're giving to God. NOT that loving your little boy and taking care of his needs is cause to stop seeking Him and stop spending time with Him. Obviously that's not what you want to do or you wouldn't have sent the message...God is pleased with you, sweet friend. He knows your heart...He knows your faithfulness to Him...He knows that you desire to stay connected to the Vine. There's grace upon grace....the truth (that i know you know!!) is that He has given you everything you need for life and godliness. He's given you everything you need to be a mom. He is before all things and in Him all things hold together - including you and your mom-dom. He gently leads those that have young. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. He is strong in our weaknesses...and oh how weak we are! But OH HOW STRONG HE IS. I would encourage you to claim all the verses you know to be true -- even look at scripture through the lens of being a mom. That's what came to mind when you said you feel "spiritually distracted" -- that maybe one way to not feel distracted is to bring the distractions right into your time with God. As you feel distracted - as you remember appointments that are coming or things that need to be done - just bring it before God. Cast your cares on Him - your cares for your son, your cares about being a mom, etc. - He cares for you! Just as you would surrender any struggle, surrender this...A friend of mine talks about how she used to get so distracted when she was trying to worship or spend time with God -- her mind would immediately start filling up with things she needed to get done. instead of trying to ignore them she would just jot them down and then go back to reading or worshipping or whatever. so instead of the enemy winning and distracting her, he actually helped her by giving her a to-do list that she could pick up when she was done with her worship or studying or whatever. God knows that you are longing for Him...and He knows that you're longing to be an excellent mother for this child He's entrusted you with...
As far as fellowship - that's a tough one - i totally hear you on wanting and needing "like-minded" fellowship. i could care less about where little lucy's clothes came from or how many activities joe is involved in. really, for the most part, i don't want to hear about anyone else's kids at all...i want to hear about what the Lord is teaching them or what they are struggling with....I want to share my heart and life and know that someone is praying for me (and with me!). I want to know what scripture has stood out to them this week or how they have blessed their husband in the past few days. I want accountability and encouragement....not breeding grounds for competition (and not conversation about completely meaningless things!). So what works for me? i wish i could say that meeting regularly with other moms works for me...but it doesn't. i do have a little "playgroup" that i coordinate...i just invite other moms and kids to come over on friday mornings -- some weeks are more of a blessing than others and that's ok.
as far as connecting with other females -- e-mailing works for me alot - i have one friend that i share alot of life with through e-mail...we ask each other the tough questions and just share life together...(btw, i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to start having e-mail conversations with you!!). i have a thing called "crave" that i go to every wednesday -- it's not a ladies bible study (generally i'm not so much a fan of those - no offense to those who are) -- it's more of a time to just come and sit in God's presence and listen. it's a sacred, set aside part of my week. childcare is provided. it's a guaranteed part of my week. there's usually music in the background and some verses to think about...then at the end we come together and share anything the Lord has spoken to us (so there is a fellowship aspect of it...but it's more about God than the other women!). i typically spend time alone with God in the afternoon when the kids are napping (or resting as is the case these days with eli and caroline). it's my priority. i have NO idea what your weeks look like with work and all. not sure if getting up early is a possibility or staying up a little later would work. if it's undistracted time alone with God you're needing, maybe you could sort of schedule special times where your husband takes your child out and you have your house to yourself (you'd have to resist the urge to clean up or do chores or whatever). or maybe vice versa - you got out and have a meeting with God and leave the fellas at home.
one resource i'm LOVING these days is the prayer room at ihop.org Have you ever heard about IHOP? it's the "international house of prayer" based in kansas city. about 10 years ago they started a prayer room that has worship and prayer 24 hours a day 7 days a week. sometimes it gets a little crazy (with healing services and raucous worship :) - awesome stuff...stuff i'm still getting used to!) but most of the time it's very peaceful and a very neat place to automatically plug in. my favorite is "worship in the word" -- usually whoever is leading worship is just singing scripture. it's fabulous. i have no idea if any of this is at all what you were looking for or needing...just what's in my heart.
i guess a few other things might be to read the book "sacred parenting" - written by gary thomas. i'd never heard of him or this book until a friend recommended it. by far the best parenting book i've read. it's not about "do this, do that and get this kind of child"...it's more about the fact that parenting, done unto the Lord, is holy and sacred (and hard!!). ''
really.
is it really this simple?
i'm doing this because He told me to. laying in bed on the retreat this past weekend i asked if there was anything He wanted me to do in response..."start a blog"....ok.
not really sure i'll ever tell anyone...it's hard to know if i'm writing for me or for them...maybe it's just to be written for Him. i guess it really doesn't matter. i'm being obedient. i've officially started a blog.
not sure anyone would really be interested in anything i have to say....i like my ideas...i like my life...but i'm not sure anyone else would! matters not.
"all i care about is living well before Him."
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