because He told me to

Your Love Never Fails

2012-02-27T10:33:00.003-05:00

i've loved singing this song the past 3 weeks at church.

His love is so unlike anything we know here on earth - everything we know (in some way or another) fails, gives up, runs out -- but HIS LOVE DOES NOT. i can't quite comprehend it...but i'll trust it nonetheless. praying that we'll rest in His love today...rest in knowing that we are indeed loved by the God of the universe. what a privilege. what security.

thankful adjustment...

2012-02-23T08:32:00.004-05:00

my heart needs a little adjustment...hoping that thankfulness will be the key to unlock the joy that i know is in there!!!! as madame blueberry says "a thankful heart is a happy heart."

being able to borrow a cup of milk from our backdoor neighbors
cash family "baseball" in the older infant room at CCC (no worries, it's infant friendly)
rocking a peaceful little one
got a GOOD capuccino blast (thanks, austin!!!)
long walk, pretty afternoon
unexpected quiet dinner with nick
caroline getting emma dressed
the point that keith brought up sunday -- in genesis, eve "took and ate" - and that was kind of what made everything wrong (ish)...and then in the new testament, jesus says "take and eat" -- and that was kind of what made everything right
tuesday time with carey (and her willingness to help with whatever project happens to be on the table)
getting nick's refills (he'll get a refill on his way out the door and bring it to me!)
celebrating aaron white (card making, brownie eating, picture taking)
grace aiken got to come over!! (BECAUSE caroline has officially stopped sucking her thumb! having grace was her reward.)(and Grace is a delight to have around!)(that's a funny sentence - Grace Aiken is a delight to have around...and GRACE - God's grace! - is a delight to have around!)
lots of good playing outside time before the rain came the other day
pandora.com (favorites: "jesus culture radio" "hillsong radio" "kari jobe radio")
the G-1003 is filed (and not rejected). and i may never have to file one again!!!
jessica hall. lovely lady who loves her Lord. beautiful.

significant song for me

2012-02-21T08:03:00.001-05:00

"Always" by Kristian Stanfill

My foes are many, they rise against me
But I will hold my ground
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

Troubles surround me, chaos abounding
My soul will rest in You
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
From You Lord, from You Lord

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always, always

(ps - just in case you were wondering the "foes, trouble, chaos, fear" really have nothing to do with any earthly thing - and certainly not any person or temporary situation.... the song is significant not because of what is "taken care of" - foes, trouble, chaos, fear - but because of the promises of God represented - He is right on time! He will not delay! He is my refuge and strength - ALWAYS! My God will come through - ALWAYS! )

thankful.

2012-02-16T07:50:00.001-05:00

4 little cinnabon cinnamon rolls from nick
looooong walk with aaron and emma monday morning
getting things right the first time (the copies at crave)
eli "surprising" me with his clean room
valentine's box from MaMa and Papa
christ community church coffee
the thought of being "blissfully unaware of self" (i want that!!) -- and the fact that God is so blissfully aware of us (His awareness of me makes it so that i don't even have to be aware of myself! i just need to be aware of Him!)
susu's sugar cookies (and that there were some left this morning when i came in to the TA office)(breakfast of champions)
the TA books came! and they turned out alright!!
the reporter from wtvm didn't have bad motives (it was a legit phone call)
special dinner with our community group last night
kim worstell. she's so enjoyable and fun and entertaining :)

so many gifts...

2012-02-09T08:38:00.004-05:00

sausage biscuits at upward basketball (thanks, grandaddy!!)
kids playing dress up (eli the knight, caroline the karate pirate, emma the pig)
chocolate covered marshmellow "pops" (a wanda speciality!)
sunday morning cinnamon rolls
eli's pots & pans animal train/bus
yaya brought lunch
yaya knows how i like my cheeseburgers
making valentine's
praying with a friend
whoever cleaned out the 1/2 empty, flat 2-liters from the TA fridge. well done. i like initiative.
kids playing happily upstairs allowing me to "sleep in" (amazing that "sleeping in" is anything past 7:30. i've come a long way!!!)
"God, i look to You. i won't be overwhelmed."
when God's word "comes alive" -- it's like everywhere you look, the scripture applies!
pandamania music - it's still good 7 months later!
delightful double date
alliteration
the daffodils in the yard of the house across the street from st. paul UMC

thankful to share. not mine.

2012-02-06T22:40:00.005-05:00

was just thinking about this...

my fingernails are not my own...they are my daughter's canvas
my pots and pans are not my own...they are drumsets and seats on a bus taking stuffed animals who knows where and helmets for my little knight
my bed is not my own...it is a stage and a trampoline
my t-shirts are not my own...they are nightgowns for my girls
my closet is not my own...it is a fort and a hiding spot and a secret cave and a club meeting place
the living room floor is not my own...it is a "slip sock skating rink"
the walls are not my own...they are art galleries and school project display areas

which leads me to think about the fact that...

my home is not my own...it is His.
my schedule is not my own...it is His.
my plans are not my own...they are His.
my life is not my own....it is His.

God's gift to me today...these words from Jesus Calling

2012-02-03T13:28:00.005-05:00

this is from Jesus Calling - phrases from today and tomorrow's entries... (i'm feeling quite anxious about how things are going to "work out" ... trying desperately to not be anxious about anything....)(knowing that lack of sleep and lack of exercise are doing NOTHING to help the situation)

"accept yourself and your circumstances just as they are, remembering that I am sovereign over everything. do not wear yourself out with analyzing and planning. when you feel anxious, know that you are focusing on the visible world and leaving Me out of the picture. the best way to get through this day is step by step with Me....I will get you safely through this day and all your days."

praying that i can recognize today's gifts...asking Him to help me fix my eyes on what is unseen - to fix my eyes on HIM - not on my feelings, not on today and not on tomorrow - eyes only fixed on Him...trusting Him to get me safely through this...

please pray for me!

only missed it by 41 minutes

2012-02-03T00:41:00.003-05:00

thankful thursday....first thing on friday...

it's almost done. the most challenging project i've done in a while is almost done!!! (and after it's done i am going to bed!!!!!)
humility (and when things happen that cultivate humility)
time with courtney (and really good pizza! with coke!!)
spending the afternoon outside (in january)
space to spread out
eli's hugs
lauren heath's sweet kindness
"i am His and He is mine."
miss shawn keeping kids during crave
falling asleep in nick's arms
carey's willingness to proofread
coupon incentives
that we don't need to be afraid of disappointing God
timing - when things go "as planned"/according to schedule
lunch with the sauciers (learning the art of spaghetti & french fries)(and, much more importantly, the beautiful art of encouragement, care and hospitality)
my brother is asleep upstairs!
learning more about trust. true trust.

FAQ #2-13

2012-01-28T17:00:00.003-05:00

a friend (a sweet, beautiful, lovely, amazing friend!) sent me an email filled with EXCELLENT questions about Mercy Ships...alot of them have been asked by many of you. thus, this post of questions and answers (keep in mind, these are the answers that i think to be true - based on what we've been told or what i've read...it may not all be completely accurate...but i'm not knowingly putting anything false into print!).

Can you tell me more about how things work?

i can attempt to answer this one...but you may be better off to go to the website: mercyships.org From what i understand, the ship docks in a port for 11 months at a time (except for right now it's in TOGO for 6 months, not 11....) -- while there, surgeries are going on daily. it's not a "hospital" like we have here - in that you can't just come with any need and hope to be "fixed" -- it's more of a specialized surgical center. there are weeks of only club foot surgeries, weeks of only cleft palet "fixing", weeks of other plastic surgeries (removal of tumors and such - tumors growing on the outside of the body), weeks of surgeries for women (to help with issues that came as a result of childbirth), weeks of eye surgeries, etc. specific doctors are lined up to be on the ship at specific times...

there is a huge screening that takes place when the boat first arrives - people come (sometimes hundreds and hundreds of miles!) and are screened to see if the doctors on the ship can actually help them with whatever is going on. if the nurses/doctors doing the screening think their issue can indeed be helped, they are given a day and time to return to the boat....on that day they show up and are admitted for their surgery (or pre-surgery...or whatever is required!)

just like a hospital here, there are so many more jobs than "just" the doctors and nurses (that's where we come in!!). the rest of the crew of the ship makes everything outside of the hospital happen SO THAT the hospital can operate (literally!!!). there are cooks and engineers and computer people and someone running the "ship shop" and the cafe...there are people doing the laundry for the hospital...there are teachers (for the ship's academy) and actual boat people (so that if/when the ship needs to sail, it's ready). i know there are other jobs - those are just the ones that came to mind....

there are also "mercy teams" doing things off of the ship -- dental clinics, various teaching and training (in a huge variety of topics), working with local hospitals and churches. i really don't have a clue what ALL is involved and what ALL is being done. glad God sees the big picture.

What will the living situation be like? (will you have your own kitchen and stuff or does everyone share? etc)

We will have a family cabin on the ship - kids will have bunk beds (what they are used to!!). nick and i may or may not have our own room - we may sleep in the room that would also serve as the living room. some of the family cabins are 3 bedrooms + living area, others are 2 bedrooms + living room. we'll be fine either way. we do not have a full kitchen - but we don't need one...there's a dining room (cafeteria) on the ship that will provide all of our meals (i'm quite excited about this!!!). we don't HAVE to eat there...but i feel like we will eat 99% of our meals there (part of what we're paying for with our "crew fees" is the meals). some families get their food put into containers and then take it to their room in order to have some quiet family time (we've heard the dining room can be quite loud!). and most people get cereal from the kitchen for breakfast - it's kept in containers in their room. as far as we know there will be a small fridge - so we could have a small supply of milk and juice and such.

there is a kitchen for crew use in case we ever feel like cooking - or in case we want to make a cake for someone's birthday or something like that.

What will happen with the kids school?

the kids will go to school on the ship. it's called the "mercy academy" (i think). honestly, that's something i'm having to surrender to God -- i LIKE homeschooling them and i feel like we've got a good plan in place...i don't necessarily want to give that up. we're excited about the academy though - i think it's about the closest thing to homeschooling we could have without actually homeschooling. they very much focus on jesus - studying scripture and prayer are a big part of the school day. the classes are small - usually somewhere between 2 and 6 students. i think our kids will enjoy it and thrive in it (even though i love homeschooling, i think that eli will do well to be learning from someone else - i think he'll be less likely to complain about doing school work if the instructions are coming from someone else. does that make sense??)

What else will they do on the boat?

i have no idea - but i have no doubt that there will be plenty for them to do!! i feel like one of my kids' strengths is not getting bored ("i'm bored" is NOT a cash family phrase! if they say it, they are quickly reminded that only boring people get bored)(no offense to anyone who gets bored...it's just my "philosophy" that one can always find SOMETHING to do to occupy your brain so that you don't get bored! back to the subject at hand...) - they are good at building forts and making up games. they love reading and being read to. there's a play area on one of the decks - with swings and balls and such....i think there's a place to ride scooters...there's a library...and there are also plenty of opportunity to get off the boat (that was something that was news to me - originally i thought we were on the boat and staying on the boat and not getting off the boat except for every now and then for special excursions...but the reality (or what i am understanding the reality to be) is that we can fairly freely go to and from the boat (though there is tight security - we can come and go...but people that aren't supposed to be coming and going will not be able to do so! and usually people hire security for their outings) -- i'm assuming (and hoping that!) we can go play soccer with some local children....we can find some orphans to love on...we can attend church wherever we'd like (there's "church" on the ship on thursday night - it's on thursday so we have the chance to find a local church to plug into on sundays....).

What will Nick's role be?

nick has been hired for a human resources management position. basically he'll be working with everyone that comes onto the ships - short term and long term - helping to make sure they are "settled" and doing their jobs (the Human Resources Office, the Chaplain's office and the Staff Development office all work together for the health and well being of the ship's crew!). he'll probably be doing lots of problem solving...and even some counseling when needed (if people have issues, he'll be a main point of contact for them). i think his job will be 8-5 (generally) monday through friday. from what i can understand, we'll all be able to eat lunch together (kids included!). in the evenings, he'll have his seminary stuff to do...(but that doesn't have anything to do with his job on the ship at this point)

What will your role be?

my main job is "primary care giver" for our children. mercy ships requires that one parent work and one parent be the primary care giver. i'll be given a "minor job" to do while the kids are in school (someone mentioned that mercy ships expects me to work in my minor job about 80% of the time that the kids are in school....). i don't know what that minor job will be - i'd love for it to be in HR with nick (i love working with him!!!). but it really doesn't matter...they can put me in the kitchen doing meal prep...or cleaning bathrooms....or washing towels...or pretty much anything. i just want to help in whatever way is needed...i like helping :)

Do you know how long you will be gone?

our inital committment is 2 years (that's what they consider "long term crew"). honestly (always), i don't know how long we'll be gone. i don't really want to think about that. for as long as we've been in TAs we've never been looking for the next thing - we've just served to the best of our ability where we were, not looking for the next thing....i want to do that in the next season of our life. we're trusting that God will tell us when/if we are to move on...we'll just seek Him day by day and listen as best we can!

How are people around there handling the news?

mixed emotions. sadness. excitement. some hurt. little envy here and there. some denial. lots of questions. all in all, i think we are very supported -- people are sad to see us go (which is rather nice to hear! it would be sad if everyone was like "good riddance! glad they're gone!" or if they were indifferent)...but i think most everyone is also proud of our obedience and proud of us for stepping out in faith (big step.)

What about your families?

the same as above -- maybe with a tad (lot) more sadness and grief and hurt. when we talk to them, for the most part, it's pretty positive - sad but positive...but i know there are other thoughts/feelings out there that aren't necessarily being said to us. i know i can't do anything about that....if they don't bring it to us, there's no way we can even begin to help them process it or understand this. our desire is to honor God...our desire is also not to hurt anyone...but that's secondary to honoring God (though some would say honoring God would not require you to hurt others....that's a tough one.)

How do the kids feel?

the kids are excited!!!! caroline had a bit of a sad moment the other night when she realized that we'll be moving before she can do the theatre camp that she really wants to do (but she got to do one unexpectedly in january - i felt like that was God's provision!!). eli's biggest concern is getting all (and i do mean ALL) of his stuffed animals on to the ship. i think i've got a pretty good plan worked out (one that he's willing to go along with!!!). they've watched a dvd that has 8 or so "episodes" of a little girl named freida who lived on the ship....they LOVED getting to see her and see more of the ship through her eyes. that dvd is probably the thing that has helped them be excited. they asked for prayer tuesday night at church (prayer week) - so the kids and the adults working with the kids prayed for them...i love that!!

We are SO excited for what this means for our children. We LOVE the thought of all they are going to get to see and experience and BE as they live & serve on Mercy Ships. Nick and I are confident that this is call to serve on Mercy Ships is for our entire family - not just for me and him. We are excited that they'll get to be around people from 40+ nations...that some of the students in their class will most likely be from other countries. We're excited that they'll get to be in the daily company of 400+ individuals who are committed to loving their Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength - and who have given their lives to serve Him. We're excited that they'll be able to practice so many of the things they've been hearing all their lives.

When will you be officially leaving Columbus?

as far as i know we are to be in texas on june 9 (not sure what time). i would imagine that we may leave on june 8 and get as far as we can...spend the night somewhere...and finish the trip on the 9th. because we can bring anything that we want shipped to the ship (ha) in addition to what we'll fly with (what we'll need while we're in texas those 3-4 weeks), we may rent a little uhaul trailer (that's just my idea for the time being....). i'm really not sure of all the logistics of getting us and our stuff to texas...we'll also be lining up childcare for our children for the hours we're in class (we haven't got that all figured out yet) - so how we get out there may depend on if someone is available to drive our car back (and even whether or not we drive our car depends on who buys it).

how can i pray for you right now?

as far as prayers -- the "big" things are (in no particular order) 1) that our house will sell (someone is looking at it...but we're not sure it's all going to work out....i'm really hoping it works out...for alot of reasons!!!!) 2)another huge thing is for the people that God will bring into TAs - especially for nick's job....again (like having in mind who i think should buy our house!), i have someone in mind for nick's job - he's been talked to...now he's praying. i want God to make it clear that he's the man for the job (or if he's not, that's fine...just let us know who is!!!!) 3)for the financial support we'll be raising....i think we're going to wait until after the "big" TA fundraiser to start our fundraising -- but that means we won't really start until early march....which really isn't that far away...but i would LOVE to go ahead and get started and know that we've got SOMETHING raised/pledged....but i think it will be best for TAs if we wait... 4)for the hearts of our families and friends -- especially our families. lots of thoughts and opinions and feelings have been shared with us - and we value and respect them all....but those feelings aren't going to affect whether we stay or go - God's made it clear that we're going. we don't want them to be mad at us....but the Truth is that it's ok if they are (as much as the thought of that hurts!). God's going to take care of them, too.

What else? feel free to send me any and all of your questions! (not that i have all the answers...but i certainly like questions). dianna@teenadvisors.org

FAQ #1 so what about our adoption?

2012-01-28T12:00:00.001-05:00

alot of people have asked about our adoption process in light of the mercy ships stuff. thus, a post trying to answer a frequently asked question :)

so, what about our adoption?

we still want to adopt! we still feel that God wants us to adopt! we're still open and willing to adopt! we still don't really understand why, in the course of the last 15 months, we haven't been "selected" to adopt by the state of GA. we still don't fully understand what happened with the little boy this summer. we're glad we've been in the process of adopting.

amazing incredible things that have come as a result of our adoption process:

2 awesome sets of bunk beds that are useful in making super amazing mega cool forts
an increased trust in the plans of God (and a greater understanding that God's "success" can come in many different forms!!!)
greater understanding of God's heart for the orphan
greater understanding of our status as an adopted child in God's family (real, full, permanent!)
the experience of being surrounded by the body of Christ in real and tangible ways
getting to share the things we've learned and experienced with others who are adopting (or thinking about adopting)(and getting to share the books we picked up along the way!)
one particular friendship has grown and strengthened in ways that i've prayed about for years. something special has happened as we've walked along the adoption road together (thank you, God!!!)
the Lord has spoken to me and to friends specifically about this adoption process - anytime anyone hears from God, something successful has happened!

One of the most significant things that God did for us was to confirm Mercy Ships through a vision that He gave a friend (and He confirmed the feelings I was having in regards to our adoption process). One day at Crave I shared with the precious ladies that I was really wondering what God was up to in our adoption process...that I was feeling a bit discouraged about it all...(i didn't share this next part -- but i had been wondering if our adoption was "to be put on hold" if we were to do Mercy Ships -- at the time we still weren't certain that the Lord was leading us to Mercy Ships). So, after we were done at Crave, a friend came up and said that God gave her a picture as we were praying (now you MUST keep in mind that she did NOT know about Mercy Ships - not even a little bit). She said:

During the prayer time, I saw a picture of you standing at one end of a bridge (that went over water) and I knew the bridge was representing your adoption. It seemed clear and easy to pass over it, so I asked God, "why can't she cross it now?" in reference to going forward with the adoption process. God then showed me that it wasn't an ordinary bridge. It was a drawbridge that separated in the middle. The drawbridge then began to separate and large ships began to pass by. That was why you couldn't cross the bridge. Ships needed to get through.

I WAS AMAZED...and so thankful that God took the time to speak to a sweet sister about our adoption (and so very thankful she was willing to share something that didn't make a lick of sense to her!!!).

Maybe one day our adoption process will result in a child (or children!) who's last name becomes cash...or maybe it won't...regardless, our adoption has been successful (and we will certainly welcome more success in that realm if that's what the Lord has in mind for us!!!). We have officially put our file with Bethany on "hold" - so that if the Lord brings us back and tells us to open the adoption process here back up (and if He tells us to do it with Bethany), we'll already have a lot of the foundation laid...we'll have updating to do but we won't be starting from scratch.

The Truth is that we care for orphans - very much. We want to see the lonely and the abandoned put into families - and we would LOVE it if a few of those children were put into our family. Maybe someday we'll be buying more than 5 plane tickets when we are traveling. When/if that happens is totally up to the Father who sees each of these children and knows the plans that He us for them (and for us). One thing we do know, as we go to serve with Mercy Ships we will have the opportunity to encounter orphans like never before...and we're excited to see what the Lord does in us, through us and all around us in the days, weeks, months and years to come (whether we're here or "there" or somewhere in between!).

ccc prayer week - friday night's thoughts

2012-01-27T22:15:00.001-05:00

tonite's scriptures: Matthew 25:14-46

thoughts/impressions:
we don't have to be AFRAID of disappointing God. That line of thought should just not be a part of the process of deciding to follow Jesus

CCC is brimming with my sheep! You are feeding the hungry, giving drink to the thirsty, giving beds to the homeless, giving clothes (and heaters!) to the cold, visiting those in prison and those who are sick.

What are you saying to us?
"don't live cautiously - in living cautiously, you're trying to protect and preserve your life - that's My job!! throw caution to the wind as you DO what I've called you to do...not foolishly or carelessly....but with wisdom...and unrelenting TRUST that I am in control. Since I am in control, you do not have to be! Let go of the control...the sooner you admit that you can't do this, the better - cause that's when I can step in and make your life better than you ever expected. My freedom is UNLEASHED, UNCAGED, SET FREE in your surrender. It's not defeat to surrender - it's actually utter VICTORY. It's not weakness...it's strength. My Victory and My Strength - 2 things that I generously share with you."

very thankful.

2012-01-26T22:53:00.003-05:00

the paper folder (at the TA office) and i are back on good terms (things were quite rocky there for a while. it really let me down.)
helping. i love it.
the intern can sing - beautifully!! (intern...smurfette...amazing awesome girl...whatever you want to call her. becca wommack really is quite special and very incredible!)
"great is Thy faithfulness" playing on ihop.org tuesday morning (that song is very significant to me!)
quote from jesus calling "My nature is to bless. Your nature is to receive with thanksgiving."
the pictures amy sent of the kids. she's such a good aunt (and an incredible sister!)
the super fun and fabulous 25th anniversary TA stickers
really good grilled cheese sandwiches
big comfy sweatpants (especially on rainy days)
prayer week.
caroline singing the hallelujah chorus...and dancing.
my new thursday schedule
getting forms filled out and faxed in
people voluntarily saying "i/we want to support you financially" - before we've even asked.
good lunch with good friends
God really does have better plans that we do (immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine!!!!)
the phrase "a holy disappearance" (He must become greater, I must become less)
aaaaaallllllllll that God has been doing in my heart and my head for so long to prepare me for Mercy Ships...and to prepare me to give my life to Him in a totally new way.
texting. it's just so convenient
late night shopping trip - was going to get bread....got so much more (including wondeful time with caroline).
the amazing picture/quote book of caroline that ritchie white surprised us with. what a gift! (i suppose it should be "with which Ritchie White surprised us." not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition. we need more "with which's" in our lives)
i'm thankful for emma and eli (even though nothing they've said or done made the thankful thursday list....ha.)
my husband's dancing...(he made me put that)(submission, it's a beautiful thing)(i'm serious about that last part.)(and i do like his dancing....)

ccc prayer week - thursday night's thoughts

2012-01-26T22:45:00.000-05:00

i love love LOVE love LOVE what the Lord was doing tonite....that was a beautiful time of sharing!!!!

tonite's scripture: Luke 14:15-33

here's what i wrote down: come on in, the foods on the table...it's ready - just waiting for someone to partake...available for anyone...those who miss out may not even realize that they're missing out - and they certainly don't realize what they are missing out on...but those who partake -- WOW! -- they know the deliciousness that the table holds - the unending feast...the feast is available - but God's not going to beg people to come...he'll keep looking, continue inviting...

2 questions came up that i feel are for all of us: 1)what excuse are you giving God? 2) what has He gotten ready for you & is now inviting you to come to?

Then i asked "what are you saying to us?"

His response: "come. eat of this feast i've prepared for you...and not only that - enjoy the fellowship and the fun of the party. this isn't a dull gathering of boring people and boring topics - it's a rip-roaring joyful celebration -- music & dancing, laughter...and, of course, delicious food. come to this party i've planned for you...i know you can come up with dozens of excuses not to attend - please don't do that! come...taste of my goodness...experience my delight in you. you'll be glad you came...you'll never be the same..."

(i've gotten the feeling over and over this week that the general consensus of people is that following Jesus/losing your life means no more fun and that it means a boring and dull existence -- but God's been saying just the opposite...He intends for it to be exciting!)

Then i asked "what are you saying to me?"

His response: "rest in knowing i've got you. i see that your preference is me - that's good! i'm going to take care of your house & cars & jobs...i've got it all figured out - your job is to delight in me daily. watch as i provide. i've got a plan...it's good and rich and exciting and FULL OF ME."

excited to see what tomorrow night holds.

trust. He's got this.

2012-01-25T23:00:00.001-05:00

sorry if this is confusing- but this is what's in my heart and head....it's easy for me to trust God when strong possibilities are surrounding the very things that we long for God to take care...feels a little more difficult to trust when those possibilities may not come to fruition-- but then again, the possibility is not even officially not a possibility. i will not borrow worry from another day - i will not rehearse worry! i trust you, God.

whether Your provision comes easily way ahead of time or at the last possible second, i trust you, God (the sooner, the better seems like the best plan to me!! though easy isn't always best...)

we're trusting His provision for (please trust and pray with us):

our house -- to sell...and if not to sell, to rent.
our jobs -- that He will send JUST the right people and there will be plenty of time for adequate training. AND that we will be able to do all we need to do as we continue to work and prepare for moving this summer.
our financial support -- as one lady so nicely put it "His will, His bill."
our hearts. this is hard.
the hearts of our family & friends. this is hard.
the details that i haven't even thought of. He's thought of them...and He's got a plan...

Our God is trustworthy in every sense of the word (and even in ways that i cannot sense because my human mind cannot even begin to grasp it all!). I TRUST YOU, GOD...even when (especially when!) it's not easy.

You are all we want in heaven! You are all we want on earth! psalm 73:25 (the msg)

ccc prayer week - wednesday night's thoughts

2012-01-25T22:19:00.002-05:00

scripture: Genesis 1:26, Genesis 2:18, 1 John 4:7-12, Deuteronomy 6:4-9

words for the youth (and really for all of us - but especially for the youth) -- "I am a God of Truth - listen to ME as I tell you who you are. The world's voice is loud - mine can be louder if you'll tune your ear to hear it. Your true identity is in ME - and is SECURE in me...nothing can separate you from My love - no dumb decision or fad...no rebellion or disobedience. I LOVE YOU - I am for you - I am the ONLY One who will not let you down."

deuteronomy 6:6 (ish)(i can never quite tell with the message)(talking about the commands of God) "...get them inside of you and then get them inside your children..."
james 3:13 (ish) "...it's the way you live, not the way you talk that counts..."

the word CONSUME was a part of my time with God tonite...felt like He was saying that He wants to CONSUME us - every part of us...our lives, our hearts, our minds....and as i thought about the word "consume" it very much ties into "dying to self" -- when things are consumed they no longer exist...

one other thing that i feel like God shared with me ties into something that was said earlier this week about encouraging one another..."a primary way of loving one another is encouraging one another - the words we say to one another and about one another are life bringing of death bringing - causing life and health and growth...or contributing to breakdown and darkness. James 3:10 (ish) "with our tongues we bless God. with the same tongues we curse men and women He made in His image...this can't go on!."

ccc prayer week - tuesday night's thoughts

2012-01-24T21:57:00.003-05:00

tonite's verses: matthew 16:13-18 (same as last night!) and matthew 11:28-30

as we transitioned from worship to listening i simply wrote down something that keith prayed "...expecting to hear." i was praying about that and asking God to speak...and telling Him that we were waiting in expectation to receive the gifts that He has for us....immediately all of this started coming - i could hardly write fast enough...(got the impression it was for all of us...not just me!)

"...and I do have gifts for you...yours for the taking - just receive them! there's no need to "pay" me anything or feel that you owe me in any way for these gifts. what do I want from you in return? I simply want you to enjoy the gifts -- enjoy me! enjoy the time you get to spend with Me...it's not My desire that your time with Me be dull or boring...I intend just the opposite -- excitement at every turn - discover what "exciting with Me" is to you! ...I give Truth that cannot be explained by man - that's exciting! Security like nothing this world can offer - that's exciting! ...so many exciting gifts that may not seem so exciting...but My gifts are more than the best Christmas morning can hope to offer...better than the most extravagant of birthday celebrations. this is all certainly something that I must reveal to you - and I WANT to reveal it to you...but you've got to give Me your eyes - you've got to let Me transform your vision - to see things like I do (that's a gift! receive it!)....some of the gifts I have for you: freedom!!! knowing/identity (you knowing Me, Me fully knowing you), peace, joy, security...the gifts you need most -- but think are intangible and un-gettable...you can't often see them so you don't fully live in them. please don't forget to receive the gifts - the priceless treasure gifts!! gifts that are better than anything this world can offer."

after a friend mentioned that Jesus' action verb in Matthew 11 was "give" i thought God was going to ask me to share all of that with "the group"...and then 2 other ladies aluded to receiving as they shared....but i never felt like i "had" to share (and that's about the only way i'll voluntarily take the mic -- if i feel like God really wants me to share!! i like "anonymous"/the "safety" of sharing through this blog so much better than attention).

the other thing that I feel like God was highlighting was the fact that if we are to "come to Him" it's going to be an intentional move towards Him...a purposeful step OUT of/away from me/my life....a purposeful step towards Him. The "rest" isn't going to be able to settle on us if we continue at our frantic/frenzied pace...(got the picture of a butterfly...it doesn't "light" on fast moving people...only people/objects willing to be still!!)

He's got such good gifts...may we receive them...and even more importantly, receive Him!

ccc prayer week - monday night's thoughts

2012-01-23T21:53:00.001-05:00

can i just first say that i LOOOOOOVE that we have prayer week at CCC. i LOVE that we set aside time to come together and listen - and i love that it's not just limited to prayer week - that we have crave multiple times each week. i love our church...i love the God who leads our church...and i'm thankful for the man God has chosen to lead our church!!!!

tonite's verses: matthew 16:13-28

there were 2 main thoughts that i wrote down tonite:

1 -- in response to the verses about God revealing things (not man revealing) and having in mind the things of God ad not the things of man, i felt like God was saying (a call to action of sorts - tangible, practical action):

"it's a mind thing -- it's about taking every opportunity to fix your eyes and mind on Me and My son. put up reminders, set alarms, intentionally set it up so that your mind is drawn to Me...on your hand, in your car, in your kitchen, in your bedroom - in every room for that matter! -- as simple as putting up a post-it, as elaborate as a painting...whatever it takes, fill your life with reminders of Me and My presence. it's hard to hear from someone you never talk to or think about...it's hard to follow someone you aren't looking for."

2 -- "a gentle shift in thinking" (that's the phrase He gave me...but, honestly, it doesn't really feel like "gentle" is the right word!! it would be a radical shift for some...a hard and rough shift for some...but now i'm interpretting and questioning instead of delivering...i'll get back to what He said instead of what i'm thinking!!!!) --- our lives are not ours to manage - they are HIS to give...His to order...just like it's HIS money - we are to listen as He lets us know how they (our lives & our money!) are to be spent...we are stewards of what He has given us - the time, the resources, the money...it's all HIS...not ours.

excited about the rest of the week.

i'm not a beat around the bush kind of person

2012-01-21T22:58:00.003-05:00

so...i'm not a beat around the bush kind of person (nick said those very words on a little "outing" that was not a date back in the days before we were dating just before he asked me if i had a crush on him...it's a fun story...maybe i'll share the rest of it sometime).

i've known for a while that this day was coming...the day i needed to blog about the fact that we're moving to africa to work aboard the Mercy Ship named Africa Mercy . that's crazy to say. crazy to type. crazy to think about. but it's happening. i feel the need to apologize because i haven't "blogged" all that has happened in the past few months in regards to this decision....honestly, i just haven't known how to. it's been such a journey of faith and trust and listening and obedience...it was hard to know how to put it all out there....another difficult part was trying to figure out where to start. i'm successfully avoiding that by simply starting now....

before i go any further (farther?), i will remind you that i LOVE questions. please feel free to ask me anything about this (or any other topic that you'd like to talk about!) anytime. i'm happy to share more and hear your thoughts and walk through this together.

instead of recapping the story (sorry) (maybe i'll do that sometime!!) i'm simply going to share how i know that we are to go...settle in, grab some hot tamales and the drink of your choice....it's alot - THANK YOU, GOD!! He has made this clear...and that's what we (and so many of you!) have been asking Him to do all along. (you may see a post similar to this again someday when i share the link to another blog that will be specifically for our Mercy Ships adventure...that blog isn't ready yet...but will be sometime soon)

So, how do we know we’re to go?

In looking through my journal for the past 6 months there are sooooo many lines that I can now clearly identify as the Lord preparing us and calling us to Mercy Ships (some are very blatantly obvious – but I even questioned those for a while!!). These are some of the snippets of scripture and conversations with God that have helped me (and are continuing to help me) to know that we are indeed called to go serve aboard the Africa Mercy. Some are not "specific" (in that they could apply to most anyone in a variety of situations....) but I'm sharing them all so that you can have as much of a picture as I do about the way the Lord has been speaking...I love the themes (themes that I didn't even fully realize were there until I was going through my journal and typing all this up)...

8.17.2011

After reading Ezekiel 47:1-12 I jotted down: God is already moving – it’s HIS mission, HIS plan – not ours. He takes the initiative and invites us to move with Him.

Read Romans 6:11 and knew it was for us: “throw yourselves wholeheartedly and full-time into God’s way of doing things.” (of course all scripture is “for us” – but God let me know that this verse, and the others mentioned here, were specifically in reference to my life – sort of “Take notice! Pay attention” calls from God in light of the things going on. make sense?)

8.18.2011

Read in a book and wrote down: The main problem with an easy life is that it masks your need for me.

Read Isaiah 55:3 (ish) “listen carefully to my life-giving, life- nourishing words”

my response: “yes, please…I’d like some life-giving, life-nourishing words!!!

God’s response back to me: I am with you, dianna. I am for you. I care about you. I do know your coming out and your coming in…enjoy the moments, dianna. Enjoy the day to day. Find joy knowing that I am with you. I’ve made a sure, solid, enduring covenant commitment of love with you….i have sent you to preach goods new to the poor…proclaim freedom for the prisoners & recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor…I have anointed you to do these things.”

8.21.2011

During worship at CCC jotted down: You can move the mountains on whatever path we’re on (or give us the strength and grace to climb them)

8.25.2011

Felt like He said “I am training you to be aware of me at all times.”

8.31.2011

Words from God for me: “Keep resting. Keep trusting. I’ll let you know what’s next. I’ve got this.”

9.21.2011

More words from Him: “Come to me, look at Me, see what I’m doing.”

9.22.2011

A prayer: My heart is yours completely….I am fully yours. Have your way in me and in my family – we are Yours.

10.16.2011

Words to a song during worship at CCC that I couldn’t sing because I was weeping: “My life is not my own. To You I belong. I give myself – I give myself to You.”

10.17.2011

I was telling God that I was a bit overwhelmed by the possibilities….

His response: “rest in me, dianna. Rest in knowing that I am with you…and I am in your future. I’m going to take care of it….there is much to do – but there’s time and energy and resources to do it. do what I’ve put in front of you.”

10.17.2011 (later that day…after I printed off the Mercy Ships application)

Talking to God and shared: I’m definitely having a major wave of doubt in regard to this Mercy Ships idea…God, this has got to be of You in order for it to happen. We can’t do this without you…not only that, we don’t want to do this without you. We only want to do this if this is what you have for us to do. Please calm my mind, my heart, my stomach, my soul. There’s nothing I want more than to be RIGHT where you want us. I don’t want to be afraid…

10.18.2011

Read Exodus 33 (the message) “if your presence doesn’t take the lead here, call this trip off right now.”

10.19.2011

Read Exodus 33:14 “My presence will go with you. I’ll see the journey to the end.”

More from Him: “I’ve got you. I’ve got this next season. I’ve got your days and your moments – your months and your years. …I’ve got blessings in store. Keep seeking Me. Abide. Dwell. I’ll satisfy…I’ll provide…I’ll sustain…”

10.28.2011

During a time of prayer when I wasn’t even thinking about Mercy Ships I felt like I heard Him say “You are to do Mercy Ships and you are to trust me in the process.”

I asked: WHEN!?!

No response.

10.30.2011

After singing “on Christ the Solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.” I wrote: Only on you – on Christ the solid rock – I stand – ALL other ground is sinking sand…TAs is sinking sand…friendships are sinking sand…Mercy Ships is sinking sand…everything other than YOU is sinking sand – nothing else is meant to be stood on. I’ll only stand on You.

11.2.2011

Journal thoughts after reading Isaiah 30:22: I don’t know how “expensive and fashionable” our “stuff” is – but I want to be willing to throw it all away (Give? Sell? Get rid of…release…no longer have!) saying “good riddance.”

11.8.2011

Wrote down: You are the answer. Whatever the question – whatever the situation – whatever we need – You are the answer.

These words were so meaningful as we sang them: God, I look to You. I won’t be overwhelmed. Give me vision to see things like You do. I look to You – You’re where my help comes from…you let me know just what to do.”

11.15.2011

Heard in a sermon: He finishes what he starts. I wrote: We started the adoption process. We started the Mercy Ships process. How do those things come to a place of being “finished”? And how do they work together?(Through the next few days and weeks I feel like God brought me to a deeper understanding that His “finished” might not look anything like what our “finished” may look like.)

11.30.2011

Journal/prayer thoughts: I’m just so unsure about Mercy Ships. I’m willing – I think…it just doesn’t seem practical or possible. His response (very lovingly and full of kindness): “those are 2 words that aren’t in my vocabulary.”

12.1.2011

Journal thought: seems like I keep hearing “go”…why do my heart and mind and feelings seem to be in such disagreement? His response: “Focus on Me – not on decisions or the future or concerns. Focus on Me.”

12.3.2011

As I was thinking and praying about Mercy Ships and sharing with God that I wasn’t sure we could do this…and not sure if I even wanted to, I felt like I heard Him say (again, very lovingly and full of kindness): “I’m not going to make you go…but I really want you to!” (I got the impression that He was saying that as a Father who is just waiting to give His children some really good gifts!)

12.8.2011

After reading Proverbs 3, I wrote: “God, I trust you from the bottom of my heart…I won’t try to figure things out on my own. I’m listening for your voice in everything I do – everywhere I go. You’re the one who will keep me on track.”

12.13.2011

Hebrews 13:18 “pray for us. We have no doubts about what we’re doing or why, but it’s hard going and we need your prayers. All we care about is living well before God. Pray that we may be together soon.” (I know when Paul said “hard going” he was talking about it being tough work – but for me it’s “hard to go!”)

12.21.2011

At crave I wrote: God, I don’t want to waste this time. Is there anything you’d like to say to me?

His response: “I want you to do Mercy Ships.”

My response: “alright.”

His response: “it’s going to be another one of those hard but good things…keep trusting me. Keep spending time with me. I’ll make it all known at just the right time. Rest in me. Rest in knowing that I am with you and for you…never leaving you even for a moment.”

1.1.2012

I wrote: I trust you God…whatever the plans…wherever you lead…

1.4.2012

Psalm 62:7-8 “I trust you, Jesus. My help and glory are in You. You are granite strength and safe harbor. I trust you absolutely. I’ll lay my life on the line for you. You are a safe place to be.”

After reading that I wrote: I’ll lay my life down – our house, our stuff, our routines, our friendships, everything we know – I’ll lay it down and trust You.

1.7.2012

I was sitting outside looking at the clouds that were quickly moving across the sky, making fun shapes as they went by. I asked God to speak to me through the clouds….He didn’t. ;)

1.8.2012

After singing the words “I want to see you” I asked God to give me a glimpse of Him….the vision He gave me was of Him holding a big white ship….

This year’s theme of “Follow Me” was introduced at Christ Community Church…the words of the song written to go with the theme matched up EXACTLY to phrases I had just written (i wrote: "i'm a bit terrified" - the song said "you don't have to be afraid." i wrote: "i trust you" - the song said: "put all your trust in me." the writing/singing were going on simultaneously....)

In praying through the theme of "Follow Me" I felt like He said “Follow me to Mercy Ships. I’m already there waiting for you….and I’ll go with you every step of the way. I’ll also stay here and take care of everything and everybody.”

1.10.2012

I asked God why He wouldn’t want us to go….I didn’t get a response.

Add to all of these things the heart for missions that the Lord has been cultivating in us for decades… add to that books we’ve been reading (especially Crazy Love, Radical & Kisses from Katie)….don’t forget to include the sermons & podcasts we’ve been listening to (and the Catalyst Conference!)….be sure to add the countless lines from Jesus Calling that God has used…and then include the dozens of songs that are continuously playing in my head and heart and home…. and you end up with a recipe that results in an undeniable call for us to GO serve with Mercy Ships. Thank you, God, for making this clear.

Surely there will be more to come.

thankful!!

2012-01-19T08:33:00.004-05:00

being home!
knowing that home is more about the 5 of us being together than it is a physical location
eli saying "you better just get used to losing" (in the kindest of ways) as we began to play chess
i played chess!
caroline & eli's reaction to my tears (my children ministered to me....i was amazed...and blessed)
emma sitting in her little rocking chair rocking her doll
pretty pink fingernails painted by caroline
another great coffee date with a beautiful lady who loves her Lord.
the phrase "not rehearsing worry"
my quilt (still very thankful that my mom was willing to make me a quilt instead of an afghan...her afghans are lovely....but i really like my quilt!)
that it "cleaned up quicker than i thought" - that's always nice
the lesley family of THREE!!!!!!!
knowing that sometime i WILL blog more than "just" thankful thursday lists. sometime.

sooooo thankful it's thursday!!!

2012-01-12T20:21:00.004-05:00

the way eli says "electrical blanket"
my boat sillyband
finally getting eli's lego contraptions set in the mail
making a machine out of legos (a car that goes!!)
good smelling hand sanitizer
the fact that sandwiches made by someone else always taste better
quick moving clouds
the UGA "G" that went on caroline's face so easily
watching my kids enjoy the UGA v AU ladies basketball game
good & safe travels to texas
sleeping all the way through alabama (no offense to alabama...it was just good sleep!!)
2 mercy ships mugs full o' candy
not having caffeine/soda all week and being perfectly ok with that
fresh fruit
fabulous snack breaks!
my TA year end donation total and amanda's donation total pretty much match (and i do believe i know the key to making them match perfectly)!!!
the transition of my kids from aunt amy to mary (with some molly time in the middle) went well from what i can tell from 550+ miles away
christian fiction books (read 1/2 of one last night...excited to read the rest tonite!)
the time to read so much of a book in one sitting without staying up 1/2 the nite!
knowing that so many people are praying for us (all the texts and emails have been wonderful!!!! thank you!!)
knowing that God has a plan...and answers...and provision....
a salad bar at lunch and dinner every day - cucumbers, tomatoes, crutons, olives, italian dressing...so good!
missing my kids (i'm not thankful that i miss them...i'm thankful that i don't not miss them...the amount/intensity that i've missed them has been quite surprising)
we get to come home tomorrow (i'm thankful it's thursday) - most likely i'll get to see our kids before friday turns into saturday (granted, they will be sleeping...but we'll be in the same time zone and zip code and house)!

sometimes thursday slips up on me

2012-01-05T20:56:00.001-05:00

that life is lived within our house (i'm trying to be thankful even when things don't stay straight)
70% off christmas stuff at target (fun time to buy next year's christmas crafts!)
"ALL I NEED IS YOU"
the way emma says "yes, m'am" (well, honestly, the way emma says just about anything - except "mine" and "NO")
exercising with caroline the other night
chili.
bacon.
laughing with our community group
cleaning up/organizing the closet in the laundry room
getting things done that i've wanted to get done for a while (ie, previously mentioned item!)
getting "paid" for something i LOVE to do and the "payment" being cherry coke!
the "space" that's created (re-established) by putting Christmas decorations away
a sweet little boy in texas named gabe.
my friend carey. i love her.
"my help and glory are in God - granite strength and safe-harbor God - so trust Him absolutely, people; lay your lives on the line for Him. God is a safe place to be." psalm 62:7-8 (the msg)
"trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track." proverbs 3:5-6 (the msg)
that i always count the number of "items" on my thankful lists...and i have to be happy with the number before posting them (11, 13, 14, 16, 19 = not usually good numbers....12, 15, 17, 18 (maybe!), 20+ = acceptable numbers)
the garage at the TA house. what a work of art! the staff did a tremendous number on that thing yesterday.
the hall's christmas letter. i didn't know tim was so funny!
worshipping on the treadmill at the Y last night (and nick's willingness to let me go just when i couldn't handle emma's fussing anymore! that girl isn't a big fan of baths right now)
"my abundance and your emptiness are a perfect match" - jesus calling 12/31/2011

inside cover of my thankful book (i put a picture on my blog!!!!!)

2012-01-02T22:00:00.002-05:00

for some reason i was thinking that some of you might be interested in seeing the inside cover of my "thankful book"...not sure why that thought crossed my mind...but i'm learning not to question things so much...

this journal was given to me by a precious TA girl named Tahna...she gave a simple $1 store journal to each member of our growth group and encouraged us to start a list of things that make us happy. thus, in 2004, the list began... it's not so much things that make me happy (though some of the items certainly do!)...it's more a list of gifts from God...things i'm thankful for...ways i can see God's hand at work in my life and in the lives of others (most of my thankful thursday lists originate in this book)

the inside cover is a collage of randomness that somehow relates to being thankful (or at least it does to me!). from dove chocolate wrappers to torn out magazine pages to a mary kay quote that came on a sample of makeup...it's still a work in progress.

in case you can't read all the words, here are the quotes:

small pleasures, simple joys, everyday miracles
the most enjoyable experiences are often free
let in the joy
savor every happy moment
what if "the season to be jolly" lasted all year long?
little acts of kindness can add up to a lifetime of happiness
let worship be more than a song
always being able to look forward to something special is one of life's greatest pleasures
enjoy the small things in life
God's grace is unfair
Let thanksgiving fill every corner of your soul
Gratitude lists - or prayers of gratitude - are powerful and meaningful prayers when written. prayer shouldn't just be an inventory of what we lack, but rather, a series of reminders of what we have, and what we might so easily take for granted, and forget to be grateful for...

these verses are on the back cover of my book:

isaiah 30:8 "...go now and write it all down. put it in a book so that the record will be there."
isaiah 63:7 "...i'll make a list of all of God's gracious dealings, all the things that God has done that need praising..."

i'm looking forward to the day when my book is filled....it'll take a while - maybe even a lifetime (writing one item per line on both sides of the page means you can fits LOTS of thankfulness in a little bit of space!!! and trying not to repeat things is a challenge!)...and who knows what will become of the book - maybe it'll turn to dust without anyone noticing...or maybe it'll sell for thousands on ebay...or maybe it'll become one of my children's treasures...matters not to me.... for now it's part of my daily worship...it's a tangible way to cultivate thankfulness in my life...i'm thankful to have it...and thankful to get to share the inside cover with you.

one of my prayers for 2012...and life.

2012-01-01T22:20:00.002-05:00

One Pure and Holy Passion (chris tomlin)

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
To grow as Your disciple in Your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing You, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after You

should you care to listen to it:
http://youtu.be/I17edLkBDCo

a little more soulful rendition for anyone who may be interested (i sure liked it):
http://youtu.be/7oW8cNDaioc

God, i want to know you more in 2012...i want to walk more closely to You - to walk in the freedom You have for me...to hear You more clearly...to obey You quickly...to love You - and anyone You put in my path - completely....i want to be more thankful...more generous...more kind...more patient....i want to serve well and live well - to live as You intend for me to live. i'm all in, God. please have Your way in me...less of me, more of You. none of me, all of You.

day late...no less thankful.

2011-12-30T13:45:00.000-05:00

sharpies
nick & caroline's lunch date last week
sitting on the porch swing on christmas eve with my most favorite person (it's my favorite tradition)
line full o' christmas cards
those little pretzel/chocolate/rolo treats. yummy.
coupon based progressive dinner date at the mall
yaya's ornament party
making melty bead things with caroline
pigs in the blanket
following a recipe - and the dish turning out as it's supposed to.
rolls. i have yet to meet a roll i didn't like.
the way emma "took" to mrs. christy last night
that christy has a "mrs" in front of her name
steak. well marinated and well cooked. and shared with wonderful friends.
watching roman holiday
eating - and liking (twice!) - sweet potatoes
grandaddy stopping by yesterday for knife safety lessons and for a game of battleship
beautiful sunshiny day, warm enough to sit and play outside
"I care as much about your tiny trust-steps through daily life as about your dramatic leaps of faith" - jesus calling 12/29/11

come & worship

2011-12-22T15:07:00.004-05:00

read these verses yesterday (it's fun to find Christmas in the psalms!):

Psalm 96:8-9 "bring gifts and celebrate, bow before the beauty of God, then to your knees - everyone worship!"

and then read these today:

Matthew 2:11 "...(the wisemen) entered the house and saw the child...overcome, they kneeled and worshipped Him..."

Luke 2:20 "...(the shepherds) returned & let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen..."

thought of this song...

http://youtu.be/83huFAMOte0

...as we encounter Jesus this Christmas may we be overcome...may we kneel and worship...may we let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything we have heard and seen.

simple significant gifts

2011-12-22T07:00:00.003-05:00

eli playing stack the states on nick's phone
me playing stack the states on nick's phone
a clean kitchen floor
watching the "mercy box" videos with the kiddos
ice.
sweet conversations with friends & God pre, during and post crave
homemade french fries (that french fry cutter is amazing!)
tupperware container returned - full of chili (delicious chili!)(i don't really care about the container...man oh man those contents were fabulous!!)
realizations
learning the name of a neighbor
hearing caroline sing in gaelic
the ornaments that kaliena and aj made with the community group kids tuesday night (i do like the ornament...but i really like that kaliena and aj brought them for the kids to make)
ALL of the activities and crafts Mrs. Shawn has been doing with the kids at crave lately.
free monkey joe's passes
having 5 kids in, on, under & around the cart at sam's today - obedient, cheerful, fun-to-be-with kids!
barrel o' cheese balls
thoughtfulness and kindness...it never gets old

amusing

2011-12-20T08:34:00.005-05:00

so...something about my "homepage" changed and now it's got some little links in the top left corner (i don't know how these things happen)...when they showed up one link was for my gmail account (useful) and one was labeled "time waster" -- and i thought "oh...what is that? i think it's a blog that's full of random stuff that really serves no purpose but is slightly entertaining to partake of....let's see." click. up popped facebook. that highly amused me. at some point i had bookmarked my facebook page (in an effort to save a few clicks i suppose) and had named it "time waster" - and promptly forgot that that's what i named it -- no offense to anyone who loves, uses and enjoys facebook...i certainly do use it and enjoy it - especially when i don't fall prey to its time wasting trap. (though i must point out that my earlier description kind of fits facebook - "full of random stuff that really serves no purpose but is slightly entertaining to partake of")(truth be told, this blog could fit under the same description! especially this post...)

in other news (literally), i heard on the radio this morning that a Circle K off of I-85 was robbed (near Opelika, i think)...just for the record, i did not do it...though i do fit the description perfectly....white female, in her 30's, shoulder length brown hair, about 5'6", wearing a hoodie....that's a semi-generic description...but i still laughed as the news reporter was describing me - and then cried wondering what would lead a woman in her 30's to rob a circle K.... we all need God's love and grace so much.

too random to post. guess i'll do it anyway.

2011-12-18T22:00:00.002-05:00

felt like changing the look of the blog up a bit. too bad i'm not technologically gifted...i could do all sorts of fancy things with this blog. it's sort of like fixing my hair...i could probably learn to fix it...but i'd rather spend my time on other things (did you know that about me? i don't know how to use a hair dryer/hairbrush in ways that would benefit my hair.) i do, however, want to learn how to add music (a playlist?) to the blog...

what else might you not know about me? http://obsequiumfidei.blogspot.com/2011/05/blast-from-past.html (did that work? it's supposed to link to a list from a while back ...sorry about the words written in orange) i'm going to try and come up with 5 new things that you might not know about me....

i'm becoming more and more fond of vegetables...even to the point of actually wanting them from time to time. hard to believe, right?
i used to see how far into the school day i could get without talking to anyone (except to teachers if they spoke directly to me). once i made it the ENTIRE day without saying anything that wasn't absolutely necessary.
i avoid using the abbreviation "lol" (except i used it the other day)....but i really like using "idk"
i had two "goals" for this year....but pretty much failed at both of them -- got about 1/2 way through each of them....and just sort of gave up. that's not really like me....but it happened. trying to decide if i want to try again in 2012.
i've never been driving a car that's been pulled over by a police officer (but that is definitely not because i am a stellar driver who always obeys all the traffic laws and posted speed limits) - and i've never been in a car that received a ticket after being pulled over (but have been the front seat passenger 3 times in cars that were pulled over). random pointless information. sorry to waste your time.

something you definitely know about me: i like quotes. here are my favorites from this weekend:

"in the west i think our conception of God's love is so much tied to circumstance - when we think He is answering prayer, or things are going as we think they should. But i am challenged to conceive of a love that is deeper than anything, which is not in any way tied to circumstance." -- from an article written by andree seu in World magazine

"God is 100% grace and 100% truth. If we fail to represent any part of that then we fail to truly represent Christ." -- alan chambers

"i'm going to vacuum the upstairs." -- nick cash

"we need God's grace more than we need a life free of suffering." -- keith cowart

"this gingerbread man is trey...and this gingerbread girl is maddie." -- trey

T to the H to the ANKFUL

2011-12-15T00:01:00.001-05:00

wrapping presents. it's fun to give.
mall chinese with nick.
free refills on cherry coke at Chick Fil A in the mall
that the CFA in the mall has cherry coke
eli riding his bike with no training wheels
getting to celebrate a few "firsts" with my 6 year old (it's been a while)
dancing with emma in the living room
that emma's arm is not broken or dislocated or anything else horrible (and that i don't have to live with the thought/guilt that it was accidentally my fault)
a friend who listens and acts on random statements of wanting "cherry coke & chocolate"
the perspective kaci lesley is choosing in their adoption process.
how many times i've been making references to kaci lately :)
indoor plumbing.
bob costa's editorials during NFL games
sitting on the front porch, addressing christmas cards
a little shopping spree at the Dollar Tree
salted caramel hot chocolate (or whatever that deliciousness was at starbuck's last friday morning. what a delightful time. especially the conversation and the bell ringing. even the coffee i spilled on my jeans "spattered" perfectly.)
tacky christmas tops
emma is 2!! i'm claiming "terrific 2's" - nothing else.
using birthday money and ordering black chaco flip flops
friends being in town for Christmas break
getting to see those aforementioned friends
calling cashiers and others wearing nametags by name.
nick's laughter. (especially at ridiculous things)

one of the most beautiful things i've ever read

2011-12-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

just read this blog post from an amazing girl that i had the chance to share life with when she was in high school. she's a gem of a girl. (wow, that sounds cliche' - but she is rare and splendid and valuable and a treasure...a delight...i only wish i was in more consistent contact with her...maybe i'll work on that). just wanted to share her beautiful words...almost felt like i HAD to share them - compelled to share them. it's beautiful. raw. real. holy.

Welcome, Sweetheart.: You Said.

favorite quotes & song from church yesterday

2011-12-12T17:00:00.000-05:00

my favorite quotes from keith:

"we can live in the freedom that we've already been accepted"
"it's not about style or personality - it's about substance...it's about knowledge of Him."
"may my life be a demonstration of the character and nature of God."
"the source of all deception is satan"

my favorite song from worship (the italics are my most favorite parts...):

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart

Chorus
Lord, I need You, Oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Bridge
Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You Jesus, You're my hope and stay

And for your listening pleasure...

oh so random.

2011-12-11T15:50:00.005-05:00

there isn't much in my book that beats the look, touch, and -especially- the smell of clean (another way we're alike, kaci!!). i like clean - so much! i just got to spend a couple of hours cleaning our bedroom. it gets so dusty and takes a bit of effort to clean out from under the bed and behind furniture....but it's sooo worth it. AND it's almost completely enjoyable if all the right elements are in place -- my "take home coke" from lunch (thanks, yaya). hillsong united music (playing the same 4 songs over and over and over. so good)(thanks, nick). and socks to slide around on the floor with. delightful. (and it helps that the one child in the house is sleeping....and the other 2 are out gallivanting)(thanks, yaya).

as i was cleaning, i was thinking that there are other not so enjoyable things that are made so much more enjoyable by adding just the right elements. for instance, going to the dentist - not the most pleasant of exeriences...but add a tv to watch while you're getting worked on and poof! it's like vacation! (thanks, dr. tyler)(and congrats on the baby!!) Then there are family get togethers with family who might not be your favorite...add a really delicious dish (deorio's pizza & 7 layer chocolate cake) and poof! it's pretty much tolerable. good food makes everything better.

all that to say: cleaning + coke + good music + sliding around in socks = enjoyable way to spend 2 hours (especially since the end result is a sparking clean good smelling room and bed to live and sleep in!)

among the things found as i was cleaning:

3 silly bands
1 regular rubber band (that quickly got put to use)
1 yellow rabbit cookie cutter
1 crazy looking little mermaid doll. that girl's hair needs help.
1 fake rhinestone ring
3 charm bracelets (i knew i had 2...but had forgotten about the 3rd one. i've got at least 2 charm bracelets too many...maybe even 3 too many....)
that my music/jewelry box was broken (but now it's fixed!! what i hoped would work to fix it did! amazing!!)
1 big orange bouncy ball
an easter egg with a bouncy ball in it (but it's not from easter...it was part of caroline's "stocking the stockings" week before last)

yay for a room being cleaner than it's been in a while....on to even more random thoughts....

there were 2 things (at least) that i can remember that made me think "um...not sure if i can be a mom if i have to do those things...." - one was loose teeth....and we're conquering that one (well, maybe "experiencing that one" would be more appropriate and accurate....and by experiencing, i mean, i have a child losing teeth and i'm letting him and his daddy handle it.)(i must admit that i was rather surprised by how small the teeth coming out are...i think i'm comparing them to the 4 hugenormous (just made that up) teeth that i had pulled in order to make room for braces to be able to do their thing...they were molars...roots and all (i still have them)(i actually have those 4...not sure how i managed to keep those - my mom has all my other teeth...surprised she didn't make me turn those in to her)(she has all of my siblings' teeth)(amy, jonathan, lane - did ya'll know that?!)(and she's got every marching quarter that's ever crossed her path)(among other things).

the other thing that i thought i wouldn't be able to handle was (drumroll...) -- cleaning out the little thing in the sink that catches bits of food and junk. what's that called? a strainer? the little silver thing that you can plug the sink with. i just always thought that was the nastiest thing growing up...i avoided it. the amazing thing is, it doesn't gross me out in the least these days (well, usually it doesn't gross me out...sometimes when we have eggs, what's left in the sink as the pan is being cleaned out grosses me out a little). the really amazing thing is how many other nasty things i've done and touched....and it's really not so bad. ahh....motherhood...or life...or something. builds character. and we like character.

wearing christmas sweaters that aren't quite my style - that also builds character (and causes smiles - it was a great evening). still resisting the urge to untag myself from every picture on facebook. :)

this makes me laugh (not even sure why...it's not all that funny...just makes me laugh)

2011-12-08T17:30:00.000-05:00

back on track. it's thursday!

2011-12-08T13:17:00.003-05:00

eli lost his first tooth last sunday!!! (while eating an apple)
eli lost his 2nd tooth yesterday (not sure what he was eating)
that he knows that loose teeth make me a little squeamish and he came to me, wiggling his tooth and said "mom, does this freak you out?" why yes, yes it does. just a little.
i am on the internet in my house!
the pantry at the TA house isn't completely out of control anymore
thinking about how awesome carey bray is how fabulous she is with kids!
in general, i'm not a fan of the word "mine" -- especially coming out of the mouth of a child who is being selfish (or from this mom who is being selfish) -- but I LOVE LOVE LOVE the word when it's coming from God as He refers to us. He says "Mine! You are mine!" (and there's absolutely nothing selfish about it...pure love. We are His. We have security and identity in that position and title.
teaching caroline to make a quesadilla
that yaya spent the night!
date night. sweet conversations.
Christmas crafts (and how God even takes the time to provide for them...)
that one wal-mart commerical (the lady & her list and the guy at the counter...i'll have to post it later). it just makes me laugh.
dustbusters. they are my favorite small appliance.
"joseph's journey" - the incredible rock opera that combines the story of Joseph with the music of Journey! and that it really does attract people who may otherwise never set foot inside of a church.
the fact that our church "allows" / puts on/ has a rock opera featuring the music of journey and other 80's artists!

You Is Smart, You Is Kind, You Is Important

2011-12-06T20:00:00.001-05:00

i love the Truth that this sweet lady is speaking into this little girl - telling her the TRUTH! let the Father speak His Truth into you today...crawl up in His lap, touch His face with your hands, see His smile, listen as He tells you who and what you are -- and then repeat it back to Him.

overdue

2011-12-06T07:47:00.001-05:00

My lack of thankful Thursday lists has not been the result of not having things to be thankful for…more the result of a lack of motivation to turn on the computer when i'm at home (cause that’s sooo difficult!) and type my little list into a word document so that I could later copy and paste onto my blog when there's internet available. But right now it's like I can't keep it all in anymore. So – this might be quite long…making up for lost time…it's overdue...but thankful that no fines are involved.

That the “funk” doesn’t last forever (just like messes….the funk gets cleaned up – I’m not talking about literal funk! More figurative funk – my figurative funk looks a lot like sadness….and discouragement…and fighting off lies of the enemy. Can I curse at him? The bleepity bleep bleep evil one. Not a fan of his.)
The way starbucks smells…and the aroma that stays with your clothes and reminds you of the heart encouragement that happened in the sacred space that was created when 2 friends shared Jesus centered conversation, thoughts, hearts and coffee.
Successful surgery for Caroline last week. Tubes in. Adenoids out. She can hear again!! And she’s got this sweet spirit about her again (I can only imagine how frustrated she’s been for so long – and, as a 5 year old, unable to really even recognize the frustration).
The cheerful “good morning” we received from the lady working in the surgery waiting area. A beautiful way to start our time…she didn’t have to be so kind…but she was…and I am thankful.
Having a “sub” for homeschool. Thanks, Sally, for keeping eli and emma for us on Thursday!
The memories and stories that Christmas ornaments stir up.
Sharing cherry coke with nick. It never gets old. Spending time with him never gets old.
Walking in to get emma up from her nap and seeing her standing their with her knit strawberry hat on…just a grinnin’
Walking around the block. Not sure why that brings me such great pleasure…but it does…and I’m thankful.
Going to see “the help” – and the assortment of ladies that I got to see it with!
Really good chili and really sweet fellowship at the white’s last week with our community group.
Papa’s new dog – Buddy!! That dog is a gift straight from the Father. That man deserves a gift straight from the Father.
The first clementine of the season.
Getting into a warm car on a cold day.
Washing windows with caroline in preparation for Christmas decorating…quite the fun balancing act.
The kids’ help in decorating the tree – their excitement was beautiful. And they really were helpful!!!
The “Jesus Scenes” Eli and Caroline set up in their rooms (their idea…not mine).
Yaya’s dessert the other night – an assortment of candy/candy bars – kit kats, reese’s spree, heath bar….yummy goodness.
A cup of coffee sitting by the backdoor…with a sunshiny note on a dreary day.
The African Violet is still alive and well!
Amy Taylor’s heart. Beautiful.
Ideas that are so good that they can only come from God – no way in the world to give yourself any credit for them!!
Emma (unknowingly) making rock angels on the playground at CCC – she was just laying in them and moving her arms around like you would if you were making a snow angel…made me laugh.
The FACT that sitting in the backyard talking with a trusted friend does my heart far more good than a walk ever could (and walks do my heart a lot of good!).
The moments when texts DO send from inside our house.
The little countdown things at some of the crosswalks (on the “walk/do not walk” signs) – I don’t know if they are new…or just new to me…but I like ‘em! I like knowing how much time I have until the light turns yellow – it’s entertaining!
Saying “rise up lights” in a semi-fast fashion – it sounds like you’re saying “razor blades” in an Australian accent. (thanks for sharing that little smile bringer, colleen!)

amusing little let down.

2011-12-05T08:00:00.000-05:00

so...you know how you can see the first part of an email from your inbox (at least i can in gmail...not sure what it's like in other email worlds)? well, i just got an email and the part i could see said "would you be willing to adopt a part..." -- and my heart started pounding and i got so excited and thought "wahoo! an opportunity! a possibility!! a part what?" then i opened the email all the way and it said "would you be willing to adopt a part siamese cat?" sigh. not so much looking to adopt a cat...would rather have a little boy (or 2! or boy and sister! or whoever God wants to send our way!). (btw - this isn't a sad let down...but rather an amusing one...). we'll keep waiting and trusting and know that God's timing is BEST. He's got good plans for us.

pre-thanksgiving ramblings

2011-11-23T21:00:00.003-05:00

so, i'm not sure if it's just this computer or if it's computer's all over the world...but, because i don't know the web address for my blog, i typed "becausehetoldme" into the search engine and a link to my blog was the first thing that popped up. somebody else try it...let me know what happens!!! (just kidding...you don't have to try it!)

i've got nothing in particular to blog about...just thought i'd take advantage of having internet in the house where i am sleeping. we're in warrenton for thanksgiving. had a sweet ride over today...read a kids' version of oliver twist to the kiddos...finished a book of my own...listened to fun music....2 out of 3 kids slept part of the way, the other was peaceful and cheerful (and quiet!) while her brother and sister snoozed. stopped in sparta to use the bathroom...closed our eyes and ignored the nastiness of that gas station bathroom while we used the facilities. that was gross. i'm going to erase it from my memory now and move on to better thoughts. we had some fruit snacks and lollipops as we made the home stretch. we've had a sweet afternoon here at 90 johnson street this afternoon...ate some pizza from doug's...drank some cherry coke...pulled some girls around the block in a wagon...watched a pick up game of football in my brother's yard. now one sweet emma is sleeping in the pack and play (fell asleep without so much as a cry). eli and caroline are heading to the cabin with their uncle lane to sleep (hopefully) and have some fun with their cousins. i'm enjoying pandora. nick is organizing star wars cards (?). just got a sweet hug from my daddy! oh the joy of holidays!!

random: i'm a bit amazed by texting. i can totally keep in communication with someone across the state...or nation (except in dead spots like 2215 19th ave -- the coverage in warrenton has improved greatly i must say!). what a fun treat (and a treat that can easily be left in another room if i need not partake at a particular moment!). (and i'm amazed that i think texting is a treat...some days, not so much because of how they won't send inside our house).

i'm very thankful that the sadness i've felt the past few days seems to be shaken. i think it "broke" yesterday when my sweet friend walked through the gate with her friendship and hugs...and continued to be broken through the cup of coffee...and through conversation with the my "three at three"....continued as nick and i shared some quality time last night ...and the good night of sleep definitely helped...the peaceful morning was a gift...time at crave solidified it all. our God is faithful...and so kind.

i'm looking forward to tomorrow...no doubt the food will be good (what am i looking forward to most? um...papa palmer's corncakes come to mind...and dessert....and more cherry coke cause i know it's in the fridge at the cabin! and the fried turkey.) and four wheelers and walks in the woods...remembering and forgetting and making new memories...seeing my siblings....it's going to be a good day. being with my family is a blessing - i'm very thankful to be able to say that and mean it.

God has overwhelmed me with good things. the "Jesus Calling" today talked about looking for the gifts that He has set out for us along the way (and gathering them up like flowers...and then giving Him his bouquet back at the end of the day - a lovely picture!). It was a reminder to me that we often see what we're looking for. I want to be looking for the good...looking for the gifts...looking for the blessings and the hand of God in the midst of whatever and wherever. He is present...that is Gift in and of itself. And, as if that's not enough - He continues to lavish us with love and other gifts. May we have eyes to see HIM and His gifts...and hearts that are grateful.

A most happy thanksgiving to each of you....may our hearts be more thankful than ever before!

focusing my heart....thankfulness

2011-11-21T17:00:00.001-05:00

Words from Jesus Calling: “it is impossible to spend too much time thanking and praising Me.”

My heart is feeling a bit overwhelmed…a bit sad…a bit out of sorts…(and I’m not altogether sure why)…but I just read “thanksgiving and praise put you in proper relationship with Me, opening the way for My riches to flow into you.” I need His riches to flow in me (in to me and out of me!)… therefore, my heart is going to focus on being thankful rather than overwhelmed…on being grateful rather than sad….on Him instead of on my out-of-sortness. Honestly, I’m having a hard time coming up with things to be thankful for….but I KNOW there’s so much…here’s an attempt at a thankful monday list, let's see where it goes:

An exchange of meaningless ink cartridges for useful ink cartridges (and the likeness of that exchange to what God does for us…takes what is meaningless (us/our old life) and swaps it for something useful (him/new life) (it’s not that he makes the useless useful….it’s a total exchange!)
For things that don’t hurt – ie, if my tooth was hurting right now I’d realize how grateful I am for all the days when my tooth doesn’t hurt (and how grateful I am for our awesome dentist, tyler myers!!!). so today, a day when nothing hurts – not a tooth or a stomache or a head – I am thankful.
Children who are NOT coughing.
Washing machines. So little input for such tremendous results.
A sweet friend who cares enough to ask what the tears were for…and to bring me tangible reminders of her thoughts, prayers & care…(now if I can just keep the Christmas cactus alive….)
Caroline was excited about Caitlin being here today! (emma wasn’t quite so excited…but she had fun, too).
Walking with nick through fantasy in lights last night (yay for winning free tickets from The Truth!)
God has us…and He’s not letting go of us. He’s got good plans for us…and He’s going to take care of our hearts – all of our hearts!
Today is a day worth rejoicing over….even if it doesn’t “feel” like it (I’m thinking feelings are overrated)
Caroline giving free makeovers with her new “set”…and the location of her makeover station? The cabinet in the hallway…she’s got it all set up and she’s in the cabinet, open for business…complete with instructional signs like “girls must do their hair in the morning…except girls with hair like boys like emma….” And “crew members only must enter by the arrow. We’ll make sure no one is excluded.” I love that girl’s creativity and thinking.
Eli’s love for reading…and willingness to read…and desire to “do more history"
That God celebrates us every day as much as everyone else does on our birthdays (x’s a bazillion). He has special thoughts and gifts and encouragement for each of us daily….not just on our birthday!
That thankfulness really does help. The thankfulness tends to push the grumbling and complaining out of the way.

every good and perfect gift is from Him.

2011-11-17T07:55:00.001-05:00

so very thankful for:

Working alongside my husband at the dining room table (and in life)
Christmas surprises
Wedding invitation ornaments…(not an original idea…but one I’m rather fond of and am having fun implementing)
This year’s TA ornament from Addie (Excellent job! Talented girl! Generous heart! Reliable worker!)
That horrible version of “oh holy night” (I am not thankful for that version of the song…but thankful the laughter – and cringes – it causes)
Eli’s monopoly skillz
The words/picture Jessica Hall shared with me after crave yesterday
That man in wal-mart who was talking on the phone and said (rather adamantly) “but I’m not on the grass cutting committee.”
The fabulous (live!)(loud!) band that was playing in the White’s living room Wednesday afternoon
Parts of my house are cleaner and more organized than they’ve been in a while (other parts, not so much)
Worship.
Thinking about (and practicing) how to live more simply in order to give more generously.
Waking up in the middle of the night and falling back asleep to the sound of the rain
When the clocks says 12:34 (1,2,3,4)
Good smelling soap. Being clean. What a privilege we so often take for granted.

unthankful for:

whatever is responsible for the deaths of the other 2 chickens. we are officially chickenless.

thursday...a good day to be thankful.

2011-11-10T08:52:00.004-05:00

i'm sorry i haven't blogged much in the past week + some....i've had thoughts that i've wanted to share...but haven't taken the time to type them out. seems like wanting to sleep has taken precendence over cutting on the old computer and typing (though i've been told if i had a mac i would never cut it off...that their nature is to work better if they are never cut off. glad i'm not a mac. i need to be cut off.) so...here's hoping the thoughts will stick around long enough to get typed...

what am i thankful for today? goodness. i'm thankful that death has lost its sting - that death has been swallowed up in victory. i don't fully understand that promise....but it gives me hope in the midst of sadness and tragedy....it surely doesn't make loss through death hurt any less here on earth...but it's amazing to know that our God has victory over death -- the death of babies we've not met...the death of little ones who (in our finite minds) had so much life yet to be lived...death as the result of tragedy or disease...death as the result of desperation...death as the result of being old and bodies wearing out. death is not the end of life. it's just not. it may be the end of life as we know it - but for those who know God (and oh, i hope you know Him - truly know Him...not just about Him...and not just what you were taught as a child...but HIM...His nature and His kindness...His grace...His love...His patience....His delight...His justice...) there's so much more life - Life that is truly life! - that is ours to be lived and enjoyed and experienced for all of eternity (boggles my mind.). i don't "like" death....but i don't mind it either...and when i really think about it, i get a little envious of those who don't have to deal with this earth anymore. one day we will be complete...fully as God intends us to be...and if it takes dying to get to that point, i'm ok with that (but i still miss the littles ones i never got to meet...and my hurt hearts tremendously for the parents dealing with the loss of toddlers....and i can't stand the thought of a young adult having to handle all the funeral preparations for his mother...)

sooooo....that's not where i thought this blog entry was heading when i started....but that's what i'm thankful for - that our God is VICTORIOUS over death. And is with WITH us in death...

what else am i thankful for?

sonic ice
yaya & grandaddy's grace & peace & understanding & generosity
clean clothes
steak dinners
sharing
getting to see lauren!
money for new black flip floppish shoes
11.11.11
good music
the TA board that works so hard
amazima bracelet
friends who know me & know what i like (and don't like)
signs on my front door full of encouragement and love
watching carey & eli play chess
caroline still doesn't think she wants to learn to read (makes me laugh.)

what am i not thankful for?

whatever "thing" (cat? owl? possom? wildabeast?) that has taken 2 of our chickens. not thankful.
mean people
rush/hurry

thankful

2011-11-03T08:06:00.001-04:00

sometimes it's easier to be thankful that others...but it's always beneficial to be thankful....maybe even more so when we don't "feel like it"...a cartoon blueberry once said "a thankful heart is a happy heart" -- here's my attempt at adding some happiness to my heart!

God has plans for each of us. plans to prosper us and not to harm us. plans to give us hope and a future. i'm very thankful for that. and thankful that He knows the plan....and He'll let me in on the plan - or the next part of the plan - at just the right time.
painting bricks
apple dumplings (and the simplicity of that recipe!!!)
smores made in the mircowave (a decent 2nd when a campfire isn't accessible)
carpooling
kaci's thoughtfulness (and her ability to know so many random things about me and what i like!)
"your accounts are in balance" messages from the state & federal government in regards to TA taxes
caroline's cracker crushing abilities (and her help in making poppyseed chicken)
"emma, what does a cat say?" "mew!!" (very high pitched)
taking surveys and filling out forms. i think it's fun.
chili, costumes and candy at yaya's
emma's amazing trick or treating abilities - her little legs kept up with the big kids
eli's thoughtfulness with his candy...his first order of business was to pick out everyone's favorites and deliver them (he even went so far as to chase nick down 2 houses away to give him a reese's).
countdown to thanksgiving (we'll see if the kids like the countdown/system as much as i do)
bread bowls filled with deliciousness at the markert's tuesday night. i love community (and good food).

4th post of the week...and you're not blogged out?! impressive.

2011-10-27T14:07:00.001-04:00

so thankful for so much. though this may be one of the most random lists yet.

the word paraphernalia (and that i have to use spell check in order to use it)
our fabulous, awesome, amazing, great-hammock-nap-taking, competent, reliable, smart, funny, capable "computer lady" at the TA office
TA thank you notes getting sent
discipline.
spending the entire afternoon outside yesterday (rest time for me and the kids included...except emma...she's still a pack and play rest time kind of girl)
my childrens' willingness to quickly forgive me
pirate ships being constructed upstairs
finishing a good book
color copies.
paying in change
mr sketch markers (they still smell the same as they did when i was 5th grade sunday school)
good dreams

wretchedness...and grace...

2011-10-26T15:37:00.000-04:00

This morning was not such a great morning in the cash house. It started off well….i got up early and went for a walk/run (I wasn’t even that tempted to just stay in bed….)….enjoyed some sweet time with God as I listened to some good music and enjoyed the newness of the day. Got back and everyone was still sleeping. Took a shower. It sort of went downhill from there…I don’t even know how or why….

An hour and a half later:

“Guys, I am so sorry. My attitude and actions have been horrible this morning. Unacceptable. I’m not sure where the fruit of the spirit is…I was certainly lacking in the area of patience and self-control and kindness and peace (and all the rest of them). Can you please forgive me for my attitude and behavior?”

Caroline: “it’s right here, mama. the fruit of the spirit is right here.”

Me: “how do you know?”

Caroline: “cause jesus is right here…and he brings the fruit….”

My question is this: How do we walk in the attributes of the fruit of the spirit when our flesh is doing anything but that?

And then I sat at crave and asked God “what was THAT about?” (“that” being this morning’s ugliness)

His response (with kindness and love): “that was your need for grace. That was your wretched self…your sinful nature…your flesh…anger in your heart….that was your need for grace.”

I’m so glad our God tells it like it is. No need to sugar coat the Truth.

Cleanse me, cleanse me from my sin!

And then I said “I just don’t know what to do when I’m in the midst of ugliness and want nothing more than Your presence to overtake the situation and overtake my whole being…and crying out to you seems rude & irreverent (even sassy!!)”

And even as I was asking Him that He was saying “CRY OUT anyway! Say my name. it doesn’t matter how it comes out. Call on me. The enemy has to run. I am there. Call my power and presence out.”

Yes, God. Yes. I’ll keep trying. I won’t give up. I’ll let you keep working on my flesh and my selfishness…keep chipping away at the ugliness…keep breaking me free from myself. I’ll keep experiencing your grace and forgiveness…and keep thanking You for Your kindess and love and patience (the very things I was so void of this morning!)…thanking you that you ARE all I need…and as I abide in you and you in me, much fruit will be produced….and thanking you that apart from You I can do NOTHING.

Kisses From Katie - Quotes

2011-10-26T06:56:00.002-04:00

Hang on tight…here come a bunch of quotes. These are my favorites from Katie Davis’s book “Kisses from Katie” (if you missed the link I posted a few months ago to this precious sister’s blog, here ya go: kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com ). Definitely the best book I’ve read lately…would certainly be on my Assigned Reading list for everyone I love. This book challenged me...blessed me...encouraged me.

“individuals are extremely important; every life matters.”

“…they (people who want to make a difference) don’t do anything to call attention to themselves, they simply pay attention to the everyday needs of others, even if it’s only one person…”

“…wants more than anything to obey God and say yes to whatever He asks of me…”

“…ordinary people who love an extraordinary God…”

“I will not change the world. Jesus will do that. I can, however, let Him use me to change the world for one person.”

“…I am more more terrified of living a comfortable life in a self-serving society and failing to follow Jesus than I am of any illness or tragedy.”

“I sit here in a broken world, small and dirty at his feet, and He who sits on high chooses to commune with me, to love me anyway.”

“….jumping for joy, so full of God’s love that we can’t stay still.”

“I , as a person who grew up wealthy, put value in things. These children, having no things, put value in God.”

“They rejoiced in what the Lord had given them…”

“Share…without holding back, giving our all and believing that the Lord will provide more as needed...”

“God did not make too many people and not enough resources to go around. Because we are living in His world, there HAS to be a solution.” (to poverty, hunger, thirst)

“Do I deny Jesus the glory that is His?”

“Poverty is not a sin; it is a condition, a circumstance that allows God’s work to be displayed.”

“…care for those around you out of an overflow of love for Christ and the love that He has lavished upon you.”

“adoption is His heart.”

“We all have so much more in common than we have distinctions. So much more that binds us together than keeps us apart.”

“When we stop to be kind when we don’t want to, that’s when the sacrifice becomes most rewarding.”

“If being a new mother taught me anything, it was just how inadequate I am and just how dependent I am on my father to give me strength and grace for each day.” (amen.)

“…a desire to be more, to be better, to be close to the One who made us…”

“I made peace with feeling inadequate because the Truth is, I was. I still am…”

“…147 million orphaned children in the world to each have a mommy who knows what they like for dinner.” (one of her prayers/desires)

“following God is an education of its own.”

“Obey and be faithful to only what He has asked of me, even when tangible earthly results or successes are not seen.”

“Often in an unideal situation, there is not an ideal solution this side of heaven.”

“As I do what I can, I am able to watch Him do what only He can.”

“I am not brave. I just believe in a God who will use me even though I am not.”

“In him, even sorrow is joy.”

“When harsh words are easier to find than kind ones, let me choose You.”

“Lord, may we choose you every moment of every day.”

Freedom!

2011-10-25T08:02:00.003-04:00

Freedom…what a word. Does anyone remember back a few years ago when someone (or some organization or some something…??) made a push for Americans to stop using the word “French” and replace it with “Freedom” (were we mad at the French? idk). So, instead of French Toast, it was to be “freedom toast”…and no more “French Fries”, let’s call them “freedom fries”….and I can’t think of any other examples at the moment…but my brother really took to that concept….especially in the area of “french fries” – he still calls them freedom fries sometimes (is he mad at the French? I’ll have to ask him). Makes me laugh. I most certainly digress….back to the point….

Freedom…what a word! A word I love…a word I treasure…a word I certainly appreciate - but not nearly as much as some. I’m thinking of soldiers and slaves…thinking of those who have fought for freedom...thinking of those who have been imprisoned literally and/or figuratively…just thinking that I love the word – but I don’t truly grasp it! But I want to! I want to live in God’s perfect freedom….a slave only to Him – I do believe that is perfect freedom.

All that to say, God’s been showing me more and more about the concept of freedom…taking me to deeper places with Him in the realm of freedom…helping me to live in the freedom that He has set me free to live in!

At Crave the other day we read the day’s excerpt from “Jesus Calling” (October 12)….part of it said “it’s nearly impossible to discern what others actually think of you.” From that line – and the thoughts that God shared with me after that - He has produced much freedom for my soul! After I read that I thought, “But it’s NOT impossible to discern what God thinks of you!! We can just ask Him!” We can approach our Faithful Father and ask “God, what are your thoughts towards me? What do you think of me? Who do you say that I am? What do you like about me?” (try it...see what happens….)(if you ever want to talk about listening to God, I’d love to…it’s one of my most favorite things to do! A sweet journey that God’s been allowing me to take with Him…He’s so good…so full of undeserved gifts and grace.)

More thoughts that followed that day at crave:
--We can worship freely because it doesn’t matter what anyone else says or thinks – only what He says and thinks!
--We can wear the same clothes over and over and over again because it doesn’t matter what anyone else says or thinks – only what He says and thinks!
--We can DO whatever it is that God wants us to do because IT DOES NOT MATTER what anyone else says or thinks – only what He says and thinks!

There is so much freedom set out for us…

But so many of us are so bound up and tied up by the opinions of others - maybe even in our opinion of ourselves! Opinions that are irrelevant!

These next few thoughts are from Galatians 5 (or are thoughts that were prompted by Galatians 5) (I highly recommend reading it if you get a chance)(reading it from The Message version was helpful to me on this particular day).

“He has set us free to live a free life – not with a harness of slavery.” Why are we so quick to exchange our freedom for slavery? To exchange the opinion of The One that matters for the opinions of man.

“The moment we submit to any of the world’s rules, Christ’s hard won gift is squandered…we trade all the advantages of the free life in Christ for the obligations of the slave life.” Why would we do that?! Why would we squander His gift – why would we waste His love and sacrifice…and for slavery??? That doesn’t make any sense! Why do we do it?!

“Live freely…animated and motivated by God’s spirit…then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness.” Maybe it’s selfishness that’s at the root of pleasing man…wanting to be accepted…wanting to be loved…wanting to be admired (the Truth is that we’re already all of those things – accepted, loved, admired by the One who accepts, loves and admires perfectly).

So whether high or low, good or bad…the opinions of others DO NOT MATTER…and my opinions of myself DO NOT MATTER…AND, our opinions of others DO NOT MATTER…His opinion matters.

These thoughts that God shared with me a couple of Wednesdays ago have really lead me to a new place of freedom in Him and in who I am in Him - a new layer of the "freedom onion" (not to be confused with french onion)(sorry, I couldn't resist) has been peeled back! I am so grateful! There’s still much work to be done….honestly, I want to get to the place where I never even consider the opinions of others - a place where I live ONLY for an Audience of One - that seems a bit impossible….but God speaks directly to things that seem impossible saying that with Him they ARE possible. I’ll just keep seeking Him…spending time with Him…listening to His opinion…only seeking to please the One who has already told me that He’s pleased with me. (By the way, He’s pleased with you, too.)

God will you help us have your opinion of ourselves and of others...your opinion is the only one that matters. We want to walk in your freedom….run, dance, laugh, live, BE in your freedom.

'cause it's thursday

2011-10-20T07:32:00.000-04:00

super fast super awesome copier at the TA office
grace and forgiveness (especially in regards to a horrible attitude)
living room full of friends
pumpkin spice coffee delivered to my backdoor
cheeseburgers
unexpected big checks that come in the mail to TAs. God is so faithful. i'm so sorry for the threads of doubt that have entered my mind.
a child who asks to mop ("please, can i mop? please?")("um...ok.")
work to be done
warm cozy bed that's hard to get out of on chilly mornings
fun band-aids
the extreme applicability of God's word (is "applicability" a word?)(word or not, His word is so applicable!)

beautiful things - song worth sharing

2011-10-17T22:28:00.005-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/embed/nJ4yNYY1hHM

cause i need to be reminded that He makes me new...He makes beautiful things out of the dust....He makes beautiful things out of us. Life is being found in Him.

so thankful.

2011-10-13T18:08:00.002-04:00

these are the last few entries from my “giving thanks” journal (or whatever you want to call the book where I write down the HUGE and tiny gifts that God shares with me):

Emma’s camera smile (that’s not really a smile at all but oh so cute)
A dad who doesn’t have to be begged to take his son to get a haircut – he takes him without even being asked (and, honestly, before I even noticed that our son needed a haircut!)
Fun colored pens
The white’s tire swing!!!!
The joy and happiness that Caitlin Carr brings into our home!
The book “Kisses from Katie” (quotes will certainly follow sometime soon)
There’s always more to give away
Nicole’s sewing abilities…helped keep me a little less exposed!
Accents (as in voices…not as in marks)
(loud) Late night worship and cleaning
100 laughs is the equivalent of running 10 miles for your heart
Carey Bray.
Hannah dew’s cookies. As delicious (dewlicious!) as ever.
Sweet little impromptu picnics in the park (and the gap of sunshine that allowed for a picnic!)
Trying to remember to laugh more (there really is so much to laugh at/about)
Getting things done that have to get done.
Apples with peanut butter
Conversation with Addie on Monday
Free wi-fi at Chick Fil A

Favorite caroline quote this week:
Me – “caroline, close the car door after you get out.”
Her – “mama. The MAN is supposed to close the door for the WO-MAN” (this was said rather emphatically….one could even use the word “sassy”...with her hands on her hips and her head shaking and everything)

Favorite eli quote this week:
“there are some of those crying willow trees, mama."

my husband is awesome. i like sleep.

2011-10-13T07:32:00.001-04:00

I’m not quite sure how to brag on my husband without sounding boastful….but my heart is not boastful, just proud (proud in the best sense of the word…not in a “prideful” way! Is that possible?!? Ha). I’m so very thankful for my husband and his friendship…and honored that I get to be nick cash’s wife…and humbled because it’s not because of me that he’s so awesome – it’s because of Him (capital “H” intentional)…and it’s because of the way he (little “h”) seeks Him (big “H”). nick loves God…and I am the number one person who benefits from how he longs to honor God. nick seeks to love me as Christ loves the church….and he does a tremendous job of that. I have the amazing privilege of knowing and experiencing God’s love through my husband. What a gift. An undeserved gift of grace and kindness. My heart is a bit overwhelmed (in the best of ways) just thinking about it.

I didn’t start this blog entry intending to say all that. I intended to say something along the lines of “I am so very blessed to have a husband who remembers our anniversaries.” (plural of anniversary intentional) The typical man -or at least those portrayed on ye olde television and in the theaters - has a hard time remembering his wedding date (and maybe it’s that he has a hard time “remembering” his wife at all…but that may be another post for another day – or another blog altogether….). My dear fella not only faithfully, consistently and wonderfully celebrates our wedding anniversary….he also remembers and celebrates the anniversary of our first kiss…and our first date…and our engagement . He’s good at celebrating us.

This year celebrating the anniversary of our first kiss was especially sweet and memorable. I woke up in the middle of the night – or at least I thought it was the middle of the night…and I got up to go to the bathroom…and I met nick coming back to bed (or at least I thought he was coming back to bed)…and he took me and hugged me and I noticed that he had super fresh breath (not a normal occurrence in the middle of the night for any normal human being)…and then he kissed me – me and my not so fresh breath and all (that was brave of him)…and said something sweet about celebrating the anniversary of our first kiss (keep in mind, my mind wasn’t fully functioning….i was trying to stay in the “it’s the middle of the night, I’m going to the bathroom and going back to sleep without fully waking up” state of being). Somewhere in that moment I realized that not only was his breath fresh, his whole body was clean…and I thought “why did he take a shower in the middle of the night?” And as I’m thinking about how good he smells and how wonderful he is to remember our first kiss in the middle of the night (not that our first kiss was in the middle of the night), somehow I realized that it is not in fact the middle of the night but rather it is the morning and it’s time for me to take a shower and get ready to go to the first day of the Catalyst Conference…and, as exciting as that thought was, really I just wanted to go to the bathroom and then crawl back in bed for the rest of my night’s sleep…

All that to say, my husband is awesome. And I like sleep. Here’s to celebrating 11 years of kissing (feel free to raise your glass and say “cheers”) (toasting is quite the fun activity….).

all i want...

2011-10-10T13:00:00.001-04:00

all i want is to be where He wants me. doing what He wants me to do.

if He wants me here, may i be here - content, wholeheartedly and fully focused (and obviously here is where He wants me since here is where i am).

if He wants us to become a military family or servants on a ship off the coast of africa or teachers in a south american village...or something that He hasn't even brought to our minds, may we do the exact thing He wants us to do - exactly where and exactly when.

if He wants us to be a family of 5, may we be content (and obviously, a family of 5 is what He wants us to be for this moment in time).

if He wants us to be a family of 6 or 7 or 8 or 13 or WHATEVER number, may we be patiently obedient and faithfully persistent to welcome and love each and every child He trusts us with....and may we quietly, willingly, faithfully walk at His pace....

for all the "if's" - He is I Am.
for all the things that are and are to come - He is I am.
for every hope, desire, hope calling, purpose, longing - He is I am

He is the desire of my heart. He is my hope. He is my calling. He is my purpose. He is my longing.

i just want to be where He wants me. doing what He wants me to do. for now, that is being (first, foremost and always) His beloved daughter... then a wife, a mom, a friend, an employee of Teen Advisors...a helper, an organizer, a facilitator, a connector, a resource...filled up, poured out, surrendered, His.

it's all for You and for Your glory, God... working unto You, doing all that i do as if i'm doing it for you - washing your clothes, fixing your lunch, sweeping your floor, taking out your recycling, paying your bills, organizing your supplies....doing the unnoticed with just as much passion and care as the noticed...

all i want is to be with You - right where You want me. doing what You want me to do.

thursday for a few more minutes

2011-10-06T23:43:00.003-04:00

so very thankful to be a beloved daughter of our God. what an honor.
thankful for time away with my husband
thankful for five guys burgers & fries
thankful for worship
thankful for things done with excellence and for the glory of God
thankful for so much more...but i'm quite tired and thinking about the bed i'm about to go crawl into - thankful for the generosity of friends to host us and save TAs money on hotel rooms while we're in Atlanta for the Catalyst Conference. (more to come about that)

few favorite quotes

2011-09-29T07:58:00.001-04:00

Favorite Song Quote as of late:

"The only place I ever will belong - Inside your open arms." - jon foreman song

Favorite Eli Quote/Interaction as of late:

Avoiding sleep tactic #785: Eli walked into the dining room at 9:50 last night (Nick and I were sitting in there working on stuff). He said, "Mom, i need to work on my typing." I said, "Ok. Let's do that tomorrow." He said, "I was hoping to do that now." I said, "No. Go to bed." He said, "aww..." And then he went back to bed. I'm just wondering what he came in there in the first place for...it wasn't to ask if he could work on his typing!

Favorite Caroline Quote/Interaction as of late:

We were laying in her bed talking and praying as she was getting ready to fall asleep and we were talking about her ears and how I've been praying for them to get better (they've got fluid in them again - which is making it quite difficult for her to hear...they don't hurt and they aren't infected or anything...just have fluid...). She said, "I've been praying about that very thing, Mama. I've been praying that God would just touch 'em and 'Snap!' they would be better." I said, "that would be awesome." She said, "but it's ok with me if He does it His way even if it's not the way I want Him to." Goodness. Such wisdom from a little girl.

Favorite Quote from Community Group:

"what is it with us and ugly marsupials?" -- molly white

Favorite Quote from "Jesus Calling" this week:

"do not look inward and lament the lack you find there. look to Me and My sufficiency; rejoice in My radiant riches that are abundantly available to help you."

so much to be thankful for!!!!! in no particular order...

2011-09-22T13:57:00.004-04:00

eli saying "boogie...boogie 1...boogie 2...etc." (he's mispronouncing "bogie" on the putt-putt course...and each additional stroke is an added number...so a bogie 17 means it took par + 17 to get the ball in the hole.)(i don't think he actually had a bogie 17...but another in our party did)
faithful pray-ers praying on our behalf. what a gift!
talk of a candy eating contest
the chance to see horrible parenting (may sound ridiculous to be thankful for that...but it was a very real and visible and obvious reminder of why it's so important to speak with love and kindness to my children)(and to not say ridiculous things like "well, just go home then." that won't work when you're in the middle of a theme park and your child is 8)
a late night walk around a beautiful lake lined with scenes from a variety of countries. what a pleasant way to pray for the world.
vacation. i do believe this is the best one yet. i love being with this family of mine.
kids sleeping until 9:00 this morning. they're vacationing, too (of course that may be due to the fact that we ate "supper" at 10:00pm last night....)
cherry coke. and lots of it.
riding the hippo (fake hippo...just the name of the inflatable water slide)
seeing the baby elephant (a real one)
193,800 points on the buzz light year ride
end of the day pictures last night
eating lunch while waiting for the dumbo ride. nick saying "i'm pretty impressed with us right now."
finishing a letter that's been in the making for a week (it's out of my hands, mary...should be heading your way!)
all of emma's new words!!! (eli saying "emma say (fill in the blank)" - and she does!)
knowing our chickens, bell peppers and mail are all in good hands while we're gone
"from c to silent t" and "super-cali-frag-ilistic your country is atrocious"
getting to observe beautiful things (even if no one else is watching)
coffee and french toast
nick's laughter
"you can go first." "no...you can go first."
"enough is enough" (eli telling me there was enough icecream in his bowl)
caroline's backflips on the jumpy thingy
reading a book that is (pretty successfully) combining amish life with a mob story
silly wigs in super target
free ice. cold water.
a husband who takes an active role in planning our making our vacations successful...he is so awesome.

adoption update...cause we need one of those from time to time

2011-09-20T10:13:00.005-04:00

Not much to report. Just waiting. The latest thing I feel like God has told me about this adoption is that I need to stop making it about me. Ha. I love that God of ours. Tells it like it is. He was so gentle and loving and kind…but still got his point across. Basically I was praying and asking Him about our wait…and wondering how long it’s going to be…asking if there’s anything I’m supposed to be doing right now…etc. etc. etc. Very gently in my spirit I heard “stop making this about you, dianna…don’t think so much about how much you’re having to wait and wondering how long it will be until this child(ren) are brought to you…or what you are supposed to be doing. Let it be about Me.” Ok, God. I’m trying!

I do feel a renewed sense of “longing” – a readiness to meet the child(ren) that God’s going to bring into our family. I heard "Hello" while I was running and it brought me to tears again...

Because I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?

Makes me laugh a little that this is my 'adoption song' (every word in it doesn't fit...but alot of it does) - there are lots of songs that God has used at different times and in different situations in my life. Yay for Lionel Richie's "hello" for such a time as this (just a little extra info: usually the version in my head is David Cook's or the performance from Glee).

I know so many of you are already praying for us and for any children that God may bring into our family…thank you for that priceless gift. Your prayers are laying a foundation that our human minds can’t even comprehend…a foundation that is absolutely essential. Along those lines, I feel like He’s challenged me to gather a team of people who are dedicated to praying for our adoption(s) on a regular basis – this one and any others that may be in the future. I’m looking for people/couples/families who are willing to pick a day of the week and pray for us specifically on that day. If you’re interested, please email me (dianna@teenadvisors.org) or send me a message on facebook.

For now, I'm going to keep trying to make everything more about Him and less about me...and seek to enjoy the 3 children God's trusting me with - not being anxious for anything that may (or may not!) happen in the future but in all things - especially in the waiting - I'll give thanks.

addendum to last post...

2011-09-17T22:06:00.002-04:00

still thinking about His love that we cannot be separated from....(and loving having conversations with others who are thinking on some of the same things!)...I inserted some of my own words into romans 8…

“I am convinced that nothing – no success or mistake, crankiness or contentment, awakeness or sleepiness, focus or distractedness, good attitudes or bad, waiting or rushing – not the good or the bad - absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our master has embraced us.”

so thankful.

In other news…I was rejected again by the American Red Cross as a blood donor. Iron level still isn’t high enough. I’ve been taking my vitamins and everything!!! Oh well. It was higher than last time…but not up to American Red Cross standards. I didn’t even get a sticker this time (not even the illusion that I made a difference!). Maybe next time. :)

NOTHING can separate us from His love.

2011-09-13T06:57:00.004-04:00

I wish I had a “whole” blog (ie – a long, thought out philosophical essay) to offer …. but I don’t…I just have a question followed by more questions…followed be a few thoughts...

I can’t get these questions out of my head – why do so many humans try so hard to run from God’s love? Why do we try to find every excuse in the book for why He couldn’t or shouldn’t or doesn’t or won’t love us? Why do we reject the only thing that is perfect and trustworthy and amazing and wonderful and free and OURS? Why is it so hard to accept God’s love for us?

Romans 8:38-39 (msg) I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

Romans 8:38-39 (niv) For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

NOTHING can separate us from the love of God. Nothing – not even our own rejection of His love can separate us from His love (now we’re going crazy deep). Nothing. So why do so many have such a hard time believing his love and receiving his love? I just don't understand...

thankful thursday

2011-09-08T11:21:00.004-04:00

cooler weather.
unloading the TA trailer with william, eli, caroline & emma
i'm drinking water this morning...and enjoying it!
the thoughtful & encouraging words that came out of eli's mouth yesterday
sharing a pizza with our backdoor neighbors yesterday evening
getting rid of stuff...got a load for Vapor accumulating
cat's amazing dental hygienist skillz (quite sad that today is her last day at dr. awesome's -aka tyler myers - practice)
no cavities!!!! and a new toothbrush!
the fact that mess/clutter is temporary...
cooler weather. it deserves 2 entries.